I Ack Manly, well met.

Noble Sir William the hum∣blest of your servants.

Come, thou shalt along with me.

Whither?

To see my Mistris.

May you thrive in your courtship to her: at this time I am engag'd to other business.

Can any thing concerne a Gentleman equall with a handsome Lady?

Yes, the receiving of money is more considerable with me at this time, than all the women in the world. But who is your Mistris Knight?

I dare tell thee, Madam Beaufield, the Lady of spirit, and entertainment, the only Mag∣netick widdow i'th Town.

They talk her a wit, and a most supersti∣tious observer of persons, and their garbes; I ne∣ver had the happiness to kiss her hand, or be known to her, but I converse with some who are very high and loud in her character; another time Enter Jeere Major, and Minor. Ile wait upon you. Who are these?

In what grott hast thou spent thy time, that thou art ignorant of these people? These two are held the wits; That is the remarkable Jeerer of the Town, and 'has purchas'd to himself the title of a Jeere Major.

Why, Is there a Regiment of Jeerers?

You shall pardon me, there are sets of them, as there are of Fidlers; there is first a set of Court Jeerers, spruce half-witted men, con∣fident, and fierce in their opinions; these are men that make themselves musick, and their cloths make roome for their wic; and go before in all compa∣nies: Then there is the town Jeerers, like Ho∣boyes or Waites of the City, that think they are wise when they are loud, and make a noise when they come to Plaies, to distract the next mans understanding. There are Jeerers at time of the yeer that go down into the Countrey, and in∣fect Wakes, and Faires, and the Sizes, with their impudence, with which they save charges, and are never without the name of a great Lord, to whom they are cosin Germane.

But what has he deserved to be called Jeere Major, and to beare such a title? I have seen the Rooke.

Nay, Jeering is a blessing that every man may have if he give his mind to it: but wit (if I remember what I was taught) happens not to one amongst five hundred on 'em. But I forget my affaire.

Shall's meet and be merry this Evening.

Theres no musick in me without my sing∣ing birds about me, then I am a Lord, and when I put on my habit of Leister, I am his own excel∣lence.

Dost thou preserve that him or still?

I may chance by the false light of the Evening march to thy Lodging.

Dost know where tis? I am remov'd. (whisper.

So, no discoveries what Prince I am.

A match: that shape will beget us some mirch.

Your most humble servant. Exit.

My Mistris is somewhat melancholy, if he come in that phantasticall habit, we shall have rare sport beyond his expectation, to have the La∣dies laugh at him. Exit.

This is very fine wit ysaith, and soone learnd I thinke; a little more on't sweet Gentle∣men.

Suppose you were foxd last night; thus I come to you, and accost; Save you Sir; you must know I must laugh all the while; how fare you Sir? Do not some fumigations remaine, some va∣pours not dissipated, a kind of Vertigo, a weak∣ning of the Nerves, or so? Ha, ha, ha, what thinks your Worship of milke now, thin broth, or a Julip of pitifull Six for a penance to settle you, or a haire of the same whelp? Ha, ha, ha, there's wit for you.

There's no harme in the world in it, nor no exceptions if you laugh in the right place.

Now imagine you met an honourable Gentleman that had got a hurt in the groine; thus I invade you; but the laugh must hold me too.

By any meanes, I cannot choose but laugh my self.

There is no safe jeering without it.

Sir, you have been at push of pike and received a hurt, upon some unslaught in some fe∣male service, Ha, ha, ha; your breath is Aroma∣tick since you kiss'd your Mistris, and your water out-smells the violet, ha, ha, ha; by the powerfull—yclipped Turpentine, tis true; what pitty tis you went without a charme, or had no acquaintance with a Laplander, to make you Venus-shot-free? Ha, ha, ha; and how many french tennistalls have you in your flanke now? ha, ha, ha.

You sate up at play all night, and lost your money; another now.

Not I a penny, I sent a buffe Gentleman that lookt big upon me, after an ill hand, twenty peeces upon halfe a dozen oaths.

A good pawne, keep his oaths, if he do not pay your money, take the forfeit, and if he be a Gamester he'll be undone for want of swearing.

Suppose it lost?

Me thinks Cavallier you looke pale since you came from the charnelhouse, did the bones affright you? you are a most religious Gentleman when you are at dice, and do so pray for 3 fives 3 foures at in and in: with what devoti∣on you look on the seven of Spades and eight of Diamonds at cribbish? ha, ha; how zealouly you invoke the Saints to fit you with cards at picket, or lebet.

I invoke the Saints?

I speake to the catholicke gamester, that understands all games.

By the way though, doe you think there are any gamesters in heaven?

It is to be feared, they may lose so much upon earth, they will hardly purchase a place there, or if any get thither, (which must be excellent throwing) he would be more call'd upon, and perhaps puld downe agen, upon every dispute at play to be Groome porter.

How like you these?

You shall both with me to my Mistris, and help to Jeere my rivalls.

Your Mistris?

I Mistris Luoy, Lady Beaufeilds daugh∣ter, my Landlady Mistris Ʋoluble has commend∣ed me to her, and I hope to carry her, if one Gentl. that she loves better do not get her away?

Wee'l jeere him to death.

That were an excellent way, I thinke there is no statute against that, I care not what becomes on him, he put bitter jests upon me to∣ther day before the Ladies, and I making use of your wit Gentlemen, he told me to my face, that I talk'd nothing but clinches; as I am a Gentleman he did.

Oh barbarous!

You shall wound him with his owne weapon, and by a direction we can give you, you shall so jeere him, that he shall offer boote to change understandings with you.

Wee'l make him so ridiculous, he shal laugh at himselfe.

That will be rare; I have sent for my Mother to towne to be acquainted with La∣dies, and learn dressing; my Landlady, hath pro∣mised to commend a Gentlewoman to waite upon her, and teach her the art of painting, and all the postures of a great woman; I do meane she shall marry some Knight or other, and be Ladified.

It wil be necessary.

Though I say it, the woman is flexible, and has been in her daies—My Father might have been a Knight, and he had not been an Asse, and lov'd his mony; but we lose time, let's to my Mistres Gentlemen.

We attend sir. Exeunt.

The same day, a Dolphin taken in a net at Woolidge, and ten live Pilchards in a Salmons belly—strange things! the 13. of July, the Caramountaine kittend in the Tower: an Eele∣ship spring a leak shooting the Bridge,—heere are prodigious things. Enter Newman.

Mr. Newman.

Mr. Usher, how does your Lady?

And Mistris Lucy?

Both in the Garden. Sir you have good intelligence, what newes abroad? a touch to your servant.

Alas you are acquainted with the state mysteries.

Troth Sir, I know little, or if I did, I would be loath to speake it, but to a friend, the times are dangerous.

Y'are right Mr. Formall, but be not nice, I know you are furnish'd with newes, as well as some that give pensions, though 'twere to a Cap∣taine in these warlike-times, to have it made for 'em; you being a quotidian ambler upon imperti∣nent visits, must needs gleane the secrets of the court and state.

Sir I dare trust you with any thing, but pray do not speak on't; there is a great man in the world—

Think you so?

That—

What has he done?

You shall excuse me; but—

VVhat his name?

You shall excuse me for that too; a word to the wise; you can guesse what I meane, and let that passe; and now we talke of state af∣faires, there is a packet come out of the North, and abox—in your eare sir.

What is said to be in that packet?

Ther's the businesse, but that no body knowes.

Is't possible?

But is this done like a wiseman to reveale these mysteries, to trust these secrets to one you have not known above 7 Yeare, if I should inform what will become of you, and your estate? oh you must be cautious, though for my part—

Oh Sir! I know to whom I speak, and will tell you more, for I dare trust you with my soule; they say the Northerne progresse holds this yeare, and that the Elke is dead in the new great parke

I hope not.

Tis as I tell you, by the fall of a tree, doe not you remember a tempest foure nights agoe? then 'twas, blustring times Mr. Newman.

That makes Ʋan Trumpe so troubled with the winde colicke, but now the Hollanders, as they report, have many Engineers and Ma∣thematitians set a work, how to keep and vent it at their pleasure, and so to serve in Navigation for their ships, that there may be ventus liber, as well as ventus clausus, answerable to the two Seas.

Ha, ha! that's newes indeed, alas mine is but domestick, but what do you heare of London Bridge? it is whisper'd by some it will, and some againe point blank say it will not be repaired; but make not me the Authour.

And I do heare the Camells decay at Tiballs: but pray no more of it from me.

You shall not doubt me Sir, you do not heare of the Dolphin—

Of France?

Taken as Woolidge in a net.

Of Italian cutworke.

The newes is not common of the Pil∣chards, the Catamountaine, nor the Eeleship?

Not a word.

You shall heare more; I am your servant. Here is Mistris Lucy Sir, and Mistris Ʋoluble.

I confesse he has no overcharge of wit, that will be your happinesse, he has a good estate, and you may live with more delight than a court Lady, he is a handsome man too, I am bound to give you my advise, for your mothers sake, whose servant I am by many obligations, she has been my customer for face-water, and pomatum these many yeares.

But if you be so skilfull, as you are profest, and read in the secrets of nature, you can tell by your art where I shall fixe my affection, doe not you know Mr. Newman.

I never see the Gentleman, but I am not ignorant that he matches in the Vanne, and leades the file of your amorous servants, but—

But what?

If you love your selfe.—

He is a well-bred Gentleman, and one deserves my good opinion, hee's here.

They observe me— Exit Form:

I kisse your hand faire Mistris Lucy: whats she that lookes so like one of the Sibills?

This Gypsey will but cozen you.

She is excellent cunning, and has foretold str ange things, beleeve it.

If my Mistris have an opinion of her Art, she may do me a displeasure; I have heard much talk of this woman, some say she is a Witch too, and weares the Devill in her thumbe Ring, I would not anger one of her Familiars. Take no of∣fence Mistris at the rudenesse of my Language, this Lady shall give a very faire pawne, the word of a Gentlewoman, that I shall be of good beha∣viour, if you please not to interpret me too ha∣stily.

There is some texs in your forehead Sir that wants a comment, but Ile not so much study your satisfaction.

Nay, thou shalt not be displeased with him.

Alas, I am not angry; heres my Lady and Sir William.

You are Master of an excellent language Sir.

You honour me too much, it is because you are the excellent Subject Madam, and being the perfection of your Sexe, an argument to create Eloquence in every tongue.

Then I must think you flatter; these prai∣ses are misplac'd. I shall suspect you love me not, or are not wise.

Why Madam?

A Cimball?

And dance as I were stong with a Taran∣tula, when you are at it, rosting of a Galliard? You overdo this instrument, give me your courtship in a phrase is fit to own and understand.

Your pardon Madam; I affect not bold and over-rack'd Hyperboles, although I might in∣sist upon the wealth and fulness of your merits, to which, all praise, that can flow from me, is Ju∣stice, such command you have upon your humble Servant, I rather wish my tongue a forfeit to per∣petuall silence, then with one harsh sound offend your eare; you'l give me leave I hope to say I love you.

This is English Sir, and some do call it sence; 'tis faire, and fit, when any Lady's private with her Servant; 'tis what I learn'd a child, I have not yet outgrown the knowledge.

Did you love so young?

I understand the meaning of your lan∣guage, 'tis not perplext, and you may love me too, and tell me so, and I may understand you; what need compartments here, freeses, and words of Architecture, that will make things hard to the un∣derstanding? As you could not build a sence in love without 'em? Yet I bar not the freedom of Dis∣course, and use of Metaphors: And you may praise us too in Verse, or Prose, to shew the exal∣tation of your wit in company, but 'tis the worst discourse when we are private.

If I had confidence she would direct me—action I beleeve when opportunity In∣vites—

To what good Knight? be not mistaken, I commend courtship in words, that are made round like pills fit to be swallowed, and not rag∣ged bullets.

'Tis a strange Lady, I know not how to take her.

My Lady? Madam—

Art thou come?

Is it your Ladiships pleasure I shall read to day?

By any meanes, the Ladies will not faile, we should forget our Academy: Sir William we must entreat your patience, and Ma∣ster Newman. Vol. whispers to Sr Wil.

Madam, the Ladies.

Say I wait upon 'em.

Ile take my opportunity.

You will engage him to credulity, and prepare some mirth.

Mounsier Galliard the Dancer attends Madam.

He must give way to another exercise; Sir William you shall do us a favour if you please to entertaine a little time with him in the next Chamber, our Lecture will not be long, and sweet Mr Newman the French-man will delight you with his discourses, he has a tongue as confident as his feet, if you can but humour him.

That Done wee'l joine societies and mirth. Come Mrs Voluble.

I hope you will excuse my imperfecti∣ons. Exeunt.

IT is an infinite favour, (most excellent Ladies) and must needs speak the sweet∣ness of your nature and dispositions, that y'are pleas'd to hear me, so weak and un∣worthy of the Chaire, rather deserving to be in the number of Disciples, than a professor in any of the female sciences; but as your ver∣tues are more exemplary, in this honour to me, the humblest of your Servants, it will become me, in the gratitude to so noble a bounty, not to waste time, but succinctly to deliver, what I could not finish without trespasse on your patience; at my last reading I did conclude with old Ladies, that will cozen Nature, and Time, and abuse the men they love best; to these I only add, it is not Mercu∣ry to change their skins like Snakes, but they must fill up wrinckles as well as hide gray haires: your red leather is for Countrey Wenches, your white wash, or Spanish Fucus is the best, but a tire wo∣man, or coverer of time or nakedness must be kept in pension: sor it is now fashionable to buy one of her apprencice Girles out of her time, as Lords and Gentlemen do Barbers boyes. Amongst other ornaments, Ribbands challenge no meane place, the variety, and blason of these, I have elsewhere examined. For your finest Laces, the Angel in Cheape, but they must be dearer then o∣thers, because they come in Coaches, for pride or stateliness in any thing adds charges. Touching Gloves, might I advise, I would have a few select∣ed Ladies, to procure some ingenious Gentleman at a reasonable pension to lye Lerger for them at Rome for Frangepane Gloves, and such other cor∣respondent things as may be of moment and great consequence to your Ladyships: But then I must advertise, and most seriously, that he may be a man of parts, and somewhat smelling toward the Roman Wash, that he may give you intelli∣gence of that State, and humours of the Gardi∣nals, or those that pretend to it, be they little or great, for this concernes the state Ladies here: For your swarfie Mountebanke Italian, he utters sophisticated Holborne Gloves for Frangepane, Esse Cheese for Parmesan, rotten post for sweet powder, pickled white Leather for Mushromes, and cozens more with his broken English, then the wits can get honesily with their best language.

The Merchant of Italian Saulsages, A meet Quack.

But then I would advise your Ladiships to have another Gentleman sent into Spaine for perfumes, pocket Fannes, orange flower water, Orange flower butter beauty, Aqua de Chedrey, and many provocatives, as Contra yerua, and Joco lata.

It is a very learned Gentlewoman.

For Holland, 'tis too deare in Spaine, there∣fore for a conscionable cozenage over and above, here are honest Dutchmen will serve you most faithfully. For Jewels, you may buy them at what rates you please, they add lustre to a Lady, and you may sell them at a fift or sift part, which is very well for a great Madam, if you would put them off at the best rate, you must get some Do∣ctor of Phisick, or broking Apocriphall Captain, to shew them (as if there were fornication in it) behind the doore, hanging or curtaine, which makes his fingers like Jewellers cardes to set rings on, for there are bawdes for rings and Jewels, as well as for other commodities.

What do you think of this caution Ma∣dam?

For your Linnen, it must be fine, and fresh every day, therein consists humane delight. For linnen breeches, though some think them cleanly, in my opinion they imitate a Dutch Stove too much. For Aprons, plaine Holland is most be∣comming, starch'd Lawne was in Queen Elizabeths time, and will not endure rumpling, every thing must be squar'd by use and elegance; but for your white Shoes, rich Roses, light-coloured silk Stock∣ings, and such variety below staires, they are great Inducers, as a learned man told me, (I will not say a Divine) for Love, most excellent Ladies, doth sometimes ascend, as well as descend.

But still remember Ladies, that your Fanne be so little, as not to lose the least smirke, or grace of your countenance for it, for then being so small, when you put it to your face, some Courtiers may take it for a black patch. Then for your oaths, I protest is out of fashion, I professe for a Justice of Peaces Wise, I vow too masculine, yfaith for a Chambermaid, Introth for a Landerer, As you hope to live, too like a Prayer; Never stir, would disadvantage a Lady many waies, besides visits; For the active wenches of the time, May they be damn'd eternally, and lose all their designs if it be not so; Upon my honour sounds well, which in a great Lady can never be forfeited if she be in love, for great women have their privilege of Nobility, and can never be forsworn like the Com∣mon people.

Is Perjury in women no breach of Laws?

You have the Doctors opinion.

One touch, if you grow old, which I omit∣ted formerly, When time, which is the moath of beauty, creeps upon you, you must be sure to have so many leaves and curtaines before your windows, that you may shew your selves at more varions lights than the most cozening Mercer his faded and deceitfull Wares, for the youth of your white Satin will be then but pearle colour at the best, it may be but ash-colour, and therefore re∣fuse no advantage to give it gloss, according to the conclusion of a moderne Poet, which at this pre∣sent shall be mine.

You have done us a great honour, and Ladies you shall not deny me this favour to taste of a small banquet that waites upon you in the next roome, shall I shew the way. Exeunt.

Me be content to have de litell patience, and be my trot, me tell you, vat me have seene a to day, de fine sport in devarle, me come into de great man to day, me make de reverence Ala∣mode, come ill faut, and he make me de estrange a Sir reverence de tird time, dat ever you saw.

That was not civill.

Oh Monsieur, every man has not the activity of your feet.

By my fat, 'tis very estrange a ding, dat dey will suffer a des men to be neere a de King, a de Queene, de Prince, or de Princesse, dey vil marra de understanding very mush.

Why Mounsieur that lyes at the o∣ther end.

Begar you shall excuse a me, for de Courtier Alamode, dere de vit lie in de foot, begar dere is nobodie can be viseman, dat does no make a de most excellent reverence, dat is most certaine, dat is the best ting in de hole varle.

I am cleare of his opinion.

But do you think Caesar Sir, or most of the Emperors or worthies of the world, studied the liberall science of the foot, or puissant toe?

No, but begar dat make dem dye all un∣fortunate, for if dey had tinke of noting but de reverence, dey might ha live a great a while.

Excellent well argued, and very cleare in my understanding.

I confesse the wisedome of it Sir, but for the wit do you thinke that lyes there?

Dat be de best vit can be possible, for your vit, vat is your vit? your vit is to breake a de jeast, vel, looke you now a me, me vil breake a de jeast, dat is like dat a me lor, dat is like dat of de Knight, dat is like dat of de Ientilman, ha, ha, ha! dere is now one, two, tre very good jeasts, by my trot dey are so very good jeast, dat make a me sicke wide laugh, and begar me vil make a de page, de lacquey, & all de foole in de court, breake a des very good jeast, very quickly, dat is a noting.

To any purpose?

What doe you thinke of the grave Aldermen? they are wise, and yet they doe not trouble themselves much about legs.

Be my trot, me speake a to de King, and to de Queene, to give me a patten, dat none shall teach a de Aldermen to make a de reverence but my selfe, and me vil undertake dat vid in one 12 a mont, but den dey must doe nothing else, dey shall make a de reverence, vid de Aldermen in de paris, and dance a Coran, a Cereban, a Moun∣tague, and dat vil be very brave.

VVhat faculties some men have?

But what shall businesse do in the meane time Mounsieur?

Is not dis very great a businesse? may be∣gar, me vil undertake to de King and to de Queen to make a my Lor Mayre de Sheriff and de Al∣dermen very fine a mask.

And to write it Mounsieur?

Aw, de write? dat is noting alamode, your speesh two, tre, yard long, pshaw? give a me de quick a spirit, de fancie, de brave scene, de varietie of de Antimasque, de nimble a foot, no matre de sence, begar it vole be de brave¦ting in de christian varle.

There is no question to be made.

And be my trot if me have a noder patten for de counsell learned in the law, for to teach dem de reverence, dat vil be very great varke, but my diligence, and skill in dat matre, have no despaire, to effect in time dis great benefit, and dat vil make a de law flourish; and Englan a brave Englan, begar.

I won't doubt your abilityes, but I feare the capacity of the Gentlemen you undertake.

But what will you look for now, for your paines Mounsieur? that is considerable.

Begar me looke for very mush, for tis mush paine, and tis brave ting, beside me looke for a statur of de brasse, in de pallace yard, ven me goe out of dis varle.

You will deserve it as a rare patriot; but what manner of reverence would you have the grave lawyers to Imitate, you must consider their robes:

Observe a me.

Such a reverence under your favour, would not become men of their gravity, one al∣wayes lookes for a Coranto after it, and provokes a man to whistle, or fing when he sees it, and makes one thinke still, what you would have a moneth, a little too much of the activity.

Begar you no understand de matre, vere is your breine? dere is noting in de varle like a dat motion, for de Ientillman, and for de Ientilvoman.

Yes by your leave sir there is some∣thing else that is as good for them.

I vil tell you now, begar, here is a de kinsman dat is a me, and he live here very much time, before he come, dey vent in vid deir toes, and hold der cloke just a dere, and de hat so, fie, le diable! and now dey valk vid deir toes out for brave genty, you call dat a de splay foot, but me vonder dat de Lady no come, begar me no use to dis patience, and de vaite, pray tell you Madam dat me have autre busines vid de Lor, and de autre Lady have de use of my foot begar.

Oh Monsieur by no means.

Let us prevaile.

Tis no good you hold a me, begar, me no stay two minute to save a your soule, dat is de re∣solution of de Cavalier de France.—Exit

Would any man beleeve there should be so much folly in this Cubit square?

Do you think he is a French Dancer? let that answer you, and wonder he has no more Caprichios. But these Ladies are very tedious, we must have this Lecture put down.

They are more like to purchase Gresham Colledg, and enlarge it for publick Professors, you may live to see another University built, and only women commence Doctors.

But now we talk of learned women, you have been acquainted with Mistris Voluble, has she the abilities the women talk of? they say she is a Fortune-teller.

She is for more then Artificiall VVhite and Red, some think her guilty of the Black-Art, she has foretold so many strange things; she has had two Husbands, and prophesied long before, how, and when they should give up the Ghost, if she be not a Witch she has the more wrong, for she is be∣leev'd a devillish cunning woman.

Possible!

There's no a Lady with child but con∣sults her Astrology, whether it shall be male or female; and the waiting women how long they shall keep their maidenheads, and who shall fa∣ther the first borne, the Master or the servingman; she is held a Sibill in the City, and tells oracu∣lously whether the Husband or the VVife shall die first, how, when, and where, and all this some∣time by observation of the hand, or forehead; she can see a maid through a maske, and is excel∣lent at stolne goods, for she can see a theefe through a millstone as well as a conjuring glasse; in brief, she is held prodigious at Divination, and most specially seldome failes in her Judgment of the two destinies, Matrimony, and Hanging, this I have heard Sir.

Sr William Your Servant, Master Newman? that's he.

Jeere him soundly.

VVhat Gentlemen are these?

He has betraid his ignorance already, he does not know us.

VVhat, not the Major, and the Minor?

Not the Major, nor the Minor.

Cede majori Sir, Cede majori.

Parce minori Sir, Parce minori.

Here will be a fine conclusion from these premises, and they were worth considering.

These two are wits.

If you love wit observe a little, and if I do not make you laugh, never laugh while you live.

I thank you Sir.

You shall here how I will jeere Newman, my Rivall now; such wit, wit of the last Edition: Let me have faire play, and these most ingenious friends of mine shall be judges.

I think so, 'twill passe time till the La∣dies come.

Mr Newman, you are a pretty Scholler, pray what is wit?

A thing you want.

A very pretty Probleme.

VVill you or these Gentlemen be bound to understand me?

Ha, ha, ha, that's a clinch, to under∣stand me.

A clinch?

I understand none.

Oh sir, a palpable clinch; Ha, ha, ha, aske my friend.

Is that your opinion?

Theres another clinch yfaith, ha, ha, ha.

Pray sir, what is't a clock?

The mystery of this?

VVhat is a clinch sir, do you know what 'tis?

I neither know, nor care what 'tis, so I laugh, and sweare 'tis a clinch, that's disgrace and reproach enough to any man. With what ease can we cry up our own wit and anothers down, only by saying that's a clinch. I think I ha jeerd him.

Oh the waies to wit are much shortned in these latter times, 'tis a picant age.

They have a gunpowder-plot to blow up sence; pray Gentlemen take truce with your spleenes, and the wisest of you three informe me what is wit; you have; no patience to heare me; or if you will not define it, speake something that is witty, and in fashion.

Ile tell you then:

You speak English to be understood, O base!

VVhat language is your wit?

English, but elaborate, for example—now beat up your kettle drums.

Sir, if my opticks faile not, I have read

Each mystick line within your brow, my Genius

Is much exalted at your gaudy Phisnomy;

Shal's to the house of mighty noise and surfets,

There tinctiour souls with bloud of purple grape?

VVhat's all this?

Ha, ha, I thought you were ignorant.

Give him the Paraphrase.

All this is, he remembers perfectly he has seene you before.

And desires you but to go to the Tavern, and drink a pint of wine; here's language!

Is't possible?

VVhat a deale of Embroydery is spent upon I am glad to see you well; How long has this been a vulgar language? You would court a Mistris rarely in this Cabale.

But how shall a man beget such high conceits?

If he will make it a secret.

Why, turne your selfe round as fast as you can, and the first things you speak, your head being dissie, will be these.

What a beavy of Buffoons have we here?

VVe are at your mercy Gentlemen; but you that had a patience to expect so long, cannot want vertue to forgive, since we had no intent to make so great a trespasse; where's Monsieur Gal∣liard?

Madam, he's gone, something displeas'd you had no more regard to a Gentleman of his quality; his time was pretious, and some other Lords and Ladies expected him.

His absence will admit of easie pardon, 'tis a most superstitious foole; what Gent. are these?

They are things were meant by nature, Madam, a cure for melancholly, we have had such sport and non-sence with 'em

VVe shall lose time upon 'em, please you, wee'l take a turne i'th Gallery.

Mistris Lucy be tender-hearted to these Gentlemen.

They are only fit for your compassion.

They are worth your acquaintance, Ma∣ster Newman knows 'em; have not their wits a pretty edge?

Dismisse your Beagles I shall beat you all three else, and monstrously, indeed I shall; be rul'd, and keep your wits warme, I shall sling out like winter.

I am glad I ha found you sir, your mother's come to town, she rode behind me.

Not too loud, where is she? I would not have it known till she have other cloaths, and bet∣ter breeding.

She's at your Lodging sir.

Mistris Ʋoluble, my mother's come by directions, mum, and make haste; sweet Mistris Lucy, I beseech you take it not unkindly if I de∣part.

By no means noble sir.

This is my man that has brought me newes out of the Country forsooth.

None of your Tenants dead I hope?

Some are Coppyholders, and I hope you wish me no harme, but I vow 'tis not my fault that I must take my leave so abruptly.

You have a cheerefull licence sir.

As I hope to make new Leases, and sell a hundred Acres of wood this Terme, I am very sorry, but I will waite upon you in the Evening. Noble Mr. New.

Ha, ha, that's a clinch.

I am your humble Servant.

Another Clinch I protest. Ex. Sim:

Now we have opportunity I preethee Mrs Voluble for my sake tell him his Fortune; I have been a stor to know your destiny.

It will be a favour, it was in my ambition to desire it.

My Lady desires your presence in the gallery.

I must observe her command, but you may satisfie the Gentleman in my absence, and Mr: Newman when you know how the starres have determined of you, make not me a more stranger.

I shal be onely fortunate to be yours.

Now Mistris Ʋoluble, if you be acquainted with my starres, and know what fortune they de∣cree me, I stand full prepared; what lines are in my forehead, you observe so?

Pray let me see your hand.

Freely command it.

Some that doe make a trade of fortune∣telling (which is beneath my practise) flatter mea for their base end of profit, Ile be plaine.

Truth loves no other habit, you pre∣pare me to give you the more faith.

Tis very strange, but this is most pro∣pheticall, you are—

VVhat?

In love.

'Tis very likely.

It may not prove so lucky, love is a ma¦lanchoy businesse.

I thinke it be. Is this all you can tell by your art?

You would know your destiny.

VVhat please my starres and you?

Take this for oracle then, you will do something in a melancholy humour will enda¦ger your neck.

Fare you well Sir. Exit.

A pox a your prognostick, she has put me

Into a sweat, and I doe more than halfe

Beleeve she is a witch, or worse, in a melan∣choly humour; must I doe something to endanger my necke? unth? I shall put my selfe into a des∣perate melancholy with thinking on't; I will be mercy, 'tis time to laugh and sing, thoughts doe not vex me to a new tune, ther's no way but to a Taverne, Ile seeke out company.

I Have obeyed you sonne, but I shall never sadge with these things you talke of.

Then y'are an asse, every childe can doe it.

I, if I had been a Gentlewoman of a child, much might ha been done.

Alas after a little time, you wil take pride every day of your selfe; I wonder this wench comes not! what? your sonne has a care of you, and 'tis never too late to learne to be a Lady; this maide I commend to you, is a very rare dresser to a pinne, and will keepe your linnen with all variety of sweet bagges and powders, that can be imagined; and for your rich gownes, she will preserve 'em with the new fashion-sereclothes, and make them outlast Egyptian bodyes.

But must my old Mistris be a Lady? that will be fine ifaith.

The Taylour has taken measure for a Lady I am sure, and three or foure yards of Sat∣tin, more than will serve for a Gentlewoman.

Then she mun be kirstned, and call'd Madam.

Peace and harken to my Landlady.

Besides she has the rarest receits to de∣stroy moathes, and such a soveraigne medicine a∣gainst fleas, that your maides need never to squeak as if they were ravish'd, peeping into their smocks before they go to bed.

That will be fine.

The weneh I tell you on, knowes how to consume Cornes too, and for fidelity about your box of teeth, false haire, your glasse eye.—

My Mother has two eyes of her owne, but that one squints.

Then for all manner of Caudles, Aleber∣ries, Possets, and preserves in all kinds, and should you lye in this maid will be the most diligent creature about warming of cloaths, and for brothes and gellies most excellent, and for all strengthners of nature; then if any of your wo∣men be to apt to conceive any thing that is ill, she hath her drinkes of retention, and expulsi∣on—but Madam

She is no Lady yet.!

Sir I speake what I foresee, and there∣fore among our selves, Madam agen, this maid is very discreet, you will know what that meanes, not troublesom when your Ladiship would be private, nor suffer any else to trouble you, and beside she will never be in love, which is no small matter for a waiting woman; she is here already— Enter Nice. Mrs. Nice you are fortunate to be recom∣mended, to attend this, (but a Gentlewoman yet.).

She is too fine.

Hold your prating, and heare my Land∣lady, have not you clothes to come home?

I shall think my starres have been care∣full of me, if I may have the happinesse to shew my duty to so noble a Lady.

She calls me Lady too.

They know what will become on you.

Oh that I could speake so gainely; I am but new come out of the Country, but if you please to be as good as your word, I will doe the best I can, to be thankfull, as they say.

My mothers very raw, you must coddle her, you will have but a foule hand with her, doe you thinke she will ever come to any good? the truth is, I am asham'd on her, and therefore be not a knowne that she is my mother, till you ha' disciplin'd her, she must live very privately.

How shall her name, person and estate be publish'd? do not you meane to have her a La∣dy?

I have it; do you observe the maid I commended to her? She is a Gentlewoman al∣waies bred among Ladies, and knows how to talk, and carry her self, before any Knight or Lord in the Court: What, if for the more expedite way to your mothers instructions this wench should take upon her sometime to be her Mistris, and in her name, before strangers, exercise some pride and courtship? 'tis a neerer way by example than precept to arive at any thing; and by observing her Fashion, Garbe, and Language, your mother may be sooner ripe for a Ladiship by at least two months, beside all the rules she may receive from us in private.

Admirable! My mother is a towardly old woman.

Old? you do not know how painting may transforme Age; and the wench is not so young as she seems; howsoever this will be only to stran∣gers, and you may with more reputation own her for your mother among Gallants, 'tis but saying she was married at twelve, and you pop'd into the world before thirteen.

I will leave her to your tuition, and this Gentlewomans education.

Then 'tis thus Madam, come hither Nice.

Iames, thou shalt wait upon me to my Mistris when thou hast better cloaths.

I have a new suite coming up from top to toe.

Ile never live in the Country agen, such another clod was I when I came to London; mo∣ther you must be dutifull, 'tis for your own good; but do you heare Landlady, have you spoke the powerfull word to my Mistris? Shall I have her from Newman?

I have read his destiny, and if things hit with his credulous nature, he will make himself uncapable of her affection; you are the next in preferment, never feare it, and leave your mother to our method and government, we will both edi∣fie, and Ladifie her.

With all my heart: buoy Lady mother.

If please you wee'l withdraw; you must be secret Iames. Exeunt.

What have we here?

The Ghost of Leister?

A proper fellow?

It is not dark enough; how they gape at me?

Let's make sport with him, he shews admirably by twilight, he has not travelled far sure; such a shape would get money in Barthol∣mew Faire.

Are you a high German sir?

Yes, 'tis a Fencer; did you not heare of a Swisse that came over to be beaten at eight severall weapons?

By your favor sir, no, 'tis no high Ger∣man, those breeches are not worne in Switzer∣land, there is something of the codpiece—

'Tis not His Majesties Operatour for the Teeth, that hangs about Fleet-bridge.

He's not so hansome.

Were not you one of the brothers that guarded the Dyall at Bow Church, and us'd to put Cheapside in mind of their quarters?

No, he wants a Pollaxe; do you think he came not off some Conduit?

I am sure he came not off o'th' saltseller, He is a size too tall.

These rogues will draw a Regiment of Prentices about me presently, and then shall I be apprehended for some sea monster, and thrown into the Thames at the next Staires, to shew their worships how well I can swim—have you any thing to say to me?

'Tis English that he speaks, he is one of us.

I am one that will venture to beat you both in the same language, if you leave me not the sooner.

'Tis some that skulkes in this disguise for debt; we'l say we are Officers, and pretend to arrest him.

Nay then have at you bandogs—

A reskue?

Hold.

Down with the Bayliffes, arrest a Gentle∣man in the Kings high way— Ex. Manly

So, so, he is escap'd. Ex. Gent.

You cursed tadpoles, cannot a Gentle∣man walk i'th' streets, but such Tenterhookes must catch him by the cloak?

Noble Master Newman, we are your servants; do not you know us? we are no offi∣cers.

Have our skins cut into measures.

To the Taverne with me.

With all our hearts.

We will be drunke together.

You shall command us..

At my new Taverne where the wine shal flow as at a Coronation; fifty Fiddles, and a noise of Trumpets come along with me; you two shall send your tickets out for wenches.

Of all complexions, and degrees, from the Madam Alamode, to the humble Wastco∣teere. Exeunt.

I beseech you Mrs Lucy make not me the Author, I affect Mr Newman, but this I receiv'd from good intelligence.

I am miserable; I did not think his nature could degenerate into so wild a change, it is some witchcraft, I must grieve for him though I dare not shew it.

Ther is a report, I would be loath you should name me in't, but they confidently say; I dare not justifie upon my knowledge, that he has kild—

Good heaven defend; then I am more un∣done.

Whom? my afflicted heart.

It was an Ossicer that was slaine.

The more unpardonable.—VVhere?

In the Parish of Alhallowes Barking, the Bell man never dawnd since, comming drunk out of a Taverne at twelve—he made no more adoe—there was not such another dog within the VVals; it waited upon the foresaid Bell-man a nights in His Majesties service, to waken the Pa∣rish, and all day was hir'd out by a Blind-man, that beg'd, with a Bell about his neck.

Is that all the murder he has committed?

All? you do not consider the blind Begger that's undon by't, or who shall carry the Lanthorne at midnight, to light Gentlemen to the best Ale, and a Bawdy-house; but for my part Ile be no evidence, if the City will suffer such an in∣justice within their VValls I can be silent, and think.

VVould this were all the danger, but I seare since he took up this rudeness and strange carriage he may deserve more sorrow.

I love not to meddle in other mens affairs, but I know something.

I prethee tell me all.

The Taverne he frequents he has made his Pheater at his own charge to act intempe∣rance; o're the great Roome be uses to be drunk in, they say, he has built a heaven, a Players hea∣ven, and thence a Throne's let down, in which, well heated, successively they are drawn up to the clouds to drink their Mistris health, while the mad mortals adore their God of Grape, and gaping look like earth that's chap'd with heat, although before within three minutes they were drench'd.

Dost know that place?

You shall excuse me, I know nothing.

Prethee be not so cautious, I am his friend, and pity him; if for my sake thou woo't but find him out, and tell him I desire to change but a few words, trust me, I may amply requite this service.

You must then keep secret what I un∣dertake, Ile do't. Be cautious to whom you speake, we must be circumspect. I will go off invisible. Exit.

Monsieur Galliard, my Lady expects you.

Begar me no like a dat reverence, me vil change a dat:

'Tis the French fashion as you taught Me Monsieur.

Ouy, tis de French fashion, but de French fashion is alwaies to change, and dis reverence displease a me very mush, because you go back, back vid your buttock, as if some vod take you by dat, to vat me vil give a no name.

Monsieur Galliard my Ladie will be here presentlie.

Sweet Mrs Lucie.

Dat de reverence is no good of de man, me must change dat too; by me trot me doubt dat dis great business vil almost break a my braine, dis great varke, and before a maske of de King and de Queene, me can eate a no meate, no drinke, no sleepe, and me growe so very a leane, vid de contemplation, a so much, by my trot de privy counsell is no so much troubled as me be vid dis, oh, le Diable! deirs is noting, dey sit all the vile dey doe deir busines, me bissey bo'te head, and de foot cap a pie, in de french tune, and dat is great matre begar.

You esteeme it highly Mounsieur.

Me tell you, and me tell you no tale, tis great matre to make a de Lor, to make a de Lady, to make a de Gentleman, to make a de Gentil∣voman, and de autre man to dance, and to make a de good reverence, for begar dat vil make a de King, de great kin in de varle.

How can that be Sir?

Me tell you, ven dey are so bissey, to learne a de dance, dey vil never tinke of de Re∣bellion, and den de reverence is obedience to Monarchy, and begar obedience is ale de ting in de varke.

I'le sweare your state affaires ly in your foot, and you are wifer there, than some heads are, and may be a president for after ages; but what musick would you governe the people by?

Begar by de best french fidles can be got?

What thinke you of an Irish harpe, a state organ, or a pastionate voyce to a lovers lute?

Des dull tings make a de men melancho∣lique, and den dey tinke on de Devill, and de treason, and do any ting dat is no good, but be∣gar des french fidles doe fidle all deis tings out of deir head, vid such a Jearke, as ma foy make a dem so phantasticall, and make a dem as good subject, as any is in de France begar.

I must waite upon my Mother.

She will be here immmediately.—

She is not right yet.

Here be one of my coliers, Mounsieur Sim∣platon, say you no dat de french fidle make a de brave government in de varle?

I say any thing becomes a Gentleman.

Observe you dat? he have been but two are mont and he say any thing, dat is very brave? he have de grand understanding in de foot; tell a me, ven you heare a de little fidell, vat is your tinke? is your head no free from de treason, and plot of de rebell, as your leg? begar you no stand upon de ground for Joy of de Coran, de Cerebran, de Marquiss, de Mountague, ha!

My Lady.

Me be your humble servant Madam, and stay one two tre houre.

I am now ready for you Mounsieur, come Lucy the practise of the last he taught us.

The Gentleman you expect Sir VVilliam is come.

Madam prepare your selfe for mirth, 'twill be a sight beyond the pageants.

What meanes this flourish? have you a play in hand?

Ha!

Vat Antick be dis?

One of the supporters of the Brewers Armes.

Ha, ha, ha, does he take upon him to be a Prince too, and will he speake?

These Ladyes have ambition to kisse your hand, and have a great desire to know, how fares the campe at Tilbury, and please your Ex∣cellencie.

'Tis one of Arthurs Knights of the round Table.

VVith his circular sippets; would you thinke that a pigmy poison'd should swell thus?

I am betraid, there's no retreat with honour, I must be confident.

Laugh and Jeere him hansomely.

Oh that the Major, and the Minor had been here now, they would teeze him ifaith, Mounsieur, aske that Maypole and he can dance.

Plait il Mounsieur? a la Galiard, de Goran, la Princesse, le Buckingham, heigh!

Put up your rosin, and your cats∣guts presently and be gon, or I shall finde a grave for you in the pocket of my sleeve, and this shal be your winding sheet.

Me no play dat lesson, pocket de sleeve, dat is no tune de France, poket, le grand pock:— (Manly offers to strike him) pardonne moy Mounsieur: me put up my fidell and be gon, adieu Madam, Serviteur gentilhomes; pocket de sleeve? Exit.

But I must not seeme angry, Lady, my businesse is to you.

Businesse to me?

I am bold to present a sute to you, I confesse it was not made by a French Tailor, I can make a leg and kisse my hand too after the fashion of my cloaths, this serv'd in those honest dayes, when Knights were Gentlemen, and pro∣per men tooke the walls of dwarfes; here's a belly peece, that lookes like armour, with what come∣linesse may a man unbutton his dublet, when he seemes to take the wall to make urine? your sleeve so neere your nose, with a handkerchiefe, which I take out thus with a grace, after Emuncti∣on, I put up agen, with the corianders hanging out, Geometricall breeches in severall slises, in which a man is not asham'd of his thighes, nor hides his bow leggs, which at the bottome sur∣rounded with points make him look like a rough∣sooted Pigeon, these things were worne when men of honor flourish'd, that tam'd the wealth of Spaine, set up the States, help'd the French King, and brought Rebellion to reason Gentle∣men.

So they doe now.

I see whoring was equall in all times, onely the carrying of it.

Why that's all?

But surely I doe wonder, how my Grandfather could kisse my Grandmother, or embrace in that strange apparell.

They made a shift Knight, or else your wise worship had not been here; but that I want so much beard, I could shew how your Grandfa∣ther stroak'd his three or foure handfull of haire, to the terrour no doubt of the standers by, and could stab I warrant you, with his two handed beard then, as well as you with your dagger beard now. It was never a good time since these cloaths went out of fashion; oh, those honourable dayes and persons!

As how?

I pray inlarge your selfe.

To have seene but a St. Georges feast then.

Why, what difference sir?

When they were install'd, to see the twenty mile to Windsor strow'd with blew∣coates, feathers and cognizances, as they do coun∣try townes with boughes, and flowers for Princes Entries, and not to go privately in a coach, with a page and a barber to cut off charges.

How doe you like this Gentleman, Is't not a pretty humour?

Then you should have the best knight of the Countrey, with the ragged staffe on their sleeves.

Every Knight had his hundreds, and these would take up all the Tavernes in the Towne, be druoke to the honour of their Lords, and rather than not pay their reckoning, pawne their chains, though they pawn'd something for them the night before, and such merry catches then, as

So the Ladies do still.

It may be so, but for your Knights bright Sword 'tis at pawn, or at home in his Armory; then we had, God blesse the Duke of Norfolke, there was a jeast, and another Song.

He's very confident.

Alas, he is compel'd to't.

How do you like this Mrs Lucy, is he not a pretty ill-favour'd Gentleman in this habit?

He sings rarely.

No question he can dance too, in that disguise he lookes like famous Cardell the dancing. Master in Queen Elizabeths time, I have seen his Picture.

And he with your Worships favour, was held a wise man, and for his gravity he might have been Treasurer, he went with that setled and solid Pian-piano.

And when he danc'd a measure, you should have had him with his Rapier, short Cloak, his black Cap, and his white Feather, his single and double, both backward and forward, with that excellencie—

And now he must be in Cuerpo, or like a fellow on the ropes, or a Tumbler when he shoots his body through a hoop; there was musick then, and a Heaven and Earth, beyond your braules, or your Mountague, with a la, la, la, like a Bachana∣lian dancing the Spanish Morisce, with knackers at his fingers.

It must needs be a rare sight.

He plaid to himself on a grave Lute, or a modest Citterne, with a politick quill, far beyond your Geofrey fiddle, or your French kit, that looks like a broken fagot stick, at the biggest, and sounds as if it had got the French disease, when it snivels out a Coranto, or so hoarse with a cold, as if some great base Fiddle had filenc'd it.

What misery is it, the Monsieur is gone now? here had been a French Duell.

But had you seen my Lord Loftie dance the Galliard, with such capers, such half capers, such turns o'th toe, and above ground, you would have sworn 'em sound for nine Generations, and for Lavaltoes, La, la, la, &c. and then the Lady.

How did he use her?

With wonderfull skill, he put his right arme about her, and took her lest hand in his, and then he did so touze her with his right thigh and legg, and list her up so high, and so fast, and so round—

As what I pray, be curteous.

Marry as soon as he had ended his dance she would lye down as dead as a swing'd chicken, with the head under the wing, so dissie was she, and so out of breath; and all these wonders were extant Knight when this old Cap was new.

Is not this very fine sport Madam?

Sir, y'are welcome; pray excuse me, if being prepar'd for some folly, your garbe and per∣son seem'd at first ridiculous; you have chang'd my opinion, and there wants but such a noble lea∣der to reduce, and make this habit fashionable; it shews a proper man, and if I were worthy to ad∣vise, or could lay an obligation upon you, I should take it for an honour if you would often visit me in these ornaments, I like 'em infinitely, and the Wearer shall be ever welcome; please you wee'l walk and talk a turn in the Gallery.

You too much grace me Madam.

In my judgment 'tis an indifferent pret∣ty fellow, but that his cloaths are out of fashion.

They are most becomming; I do not like your new phantasticall shapes, that transforme a man from his masculine aspect; you appear to me like a Jackanaps; there's a waste, and a Long lane cut close to your hanches. Exit.

Hum! she takes after the old one, I will try and shift my self, if the mother be taken with the habit in Qu. Elizabeths daies, why may not the daughter affect that in K. Jameses, and so the humor run in a bloud? I am resolv'd; she loves sing∣ing too, I am furnish' with Ballads, o'my consci∣ence this will do't; Ile fit her with a fashion, and about it presently. Exit.

They are here agen, and laugh at me: How familiar the Turtles are?

Ha, ha, ha.

Wee'l taste some aire i'th' garden, ha, ha, ha.

So, so, if I did love this widow for her self, what a case were I in? but I must not sit down thus, and something must be thought on for my honour. Exeunt.

SO, so, thou dost carry it excellently, it spreads like a Proclamation, what a rich widdow lies at my house, her wealth, and wit, must be exercis'd.

She must not appeare to be herself yet but in private, and the Chiause her Son has be∣stow'd this Jewell upon me for expedition, for he dares not yet acknowledge her; she wonders at her¦self now she is painted, & sweares in her conscience she looks by her glass like one of foure and twenty, and simpers, and licks her leatherne lips as she had eaten Marmalade.

He will discover us.

He shall never see thee act her part.

Do you thinke he can affect her?

Courtiers do not marry into the City for love, and this Farmers wife has wealth enough to Enter Simpleton, and James, (with his cloaths.) buy a Ladiship; here's the gull, away and be dili∣gent. Exit Nice.

They'l fit you as well as my self for whom they were made in the Countrey.

How now sir, preparing for a race?

Is no body else with you? Do not en∣quire what stratagem is in hand, there be more waies to catch a Mistresses heart; how does my mother?

She is pretty apt for one of her yeares: I can tell you news, there is a Knight about her already.

She shall have him.

Not with your favour if a greater person Interpose, I have so much care of her honour, now she is my charge.

Mistris Voluble, here's a Footman, lac'd all over, enquires for you, he serves a French Lord, he saies he must needs speak with you, he has a letter. Exit.

What if this Lord come hither for the same purpose?

Tis too much happinesse; Ile not be seen thus, nor let my Mother appeare in her roughcast, use the Footman kindly, if his mes∣sage concerne us, away— Exit Ʋol.

And will this Fashion become me, dost thinke? I prethee tell me some old stories in to'ther raigne, thou canst talke and make me ready too.

Ah sir, I knew a time, when two and twen∣yeares was but a merry Christmas, nothing but Ambassadors, Masques, Playes, Entertainements, Hawking, Hunting, Winter and Summer, New-Market and Roiston mourne now, ha! had you seen the Court fox'd upon Gouries night, and the Gunpouder treason began then; oh we had rare sport, and then every body was knighted, they hardly lest a Gentleman in those dayes; and afterward they got a tricke of making Lords.

For what?

I know not that, but they hardly left a Knight, man, woman, and childe were made right honourable.

Right honourable, right worshipfull, and well beloved, I have heard that in the Coun∣try.

But the fashion of welbeloved is left off, for we doe not now love one another.

But had you no misfortunes?

Faith Sir, a rainy day was the worst, and that had but made the ground more soluble the next day for hunting.

No complaints James?

Oh yes sir! I hard a Gentleman complaine mightily that he had lost the highest flying tassell gentle, that ever was seene, another that he had prick'd his grey Nag, that was an excellent buck∣hunter; a third, that he had fretish'd his best hound, Beauty, and that Lilly was kill'd at a Bay a stag-hunting, it had almost cost the Genleman his life.

And what else James?

By my troth sir, a Gentleman waiter, that shall be namelesse, removing a pasty of Venison, spilt it all, on a new satten doublet, and spoiled it utterly, there was such laughing, but his Master being gracious gave him a sute for his doublet, I thinke it was a Knight; but the Knight market is risen now.

I and the Lord Market too, James.

And please your worship, they say, the Herald would not make a Gentleman now, under ten pound.

Oh yes, they'l take reason to my knowledge, and give the prettiest phantasticall armes, I have all the colours of the Rainebow in my new coate, every foole may be a Gentleman of three generations now.

I can derive my selfe knave three de∣scents under your ancesters.

Then thy children may write them∣selves knaves of blood, take that upon my Heral∣dry; but had not you brave songs then James?

In those dayes was the quintessence of ballads, you went to schoole with 'em, I remem∣ber and learn'd no other bookes, I shall never for∣get the Lord of Lornes sonne in Scotland and the false steward, to the tune of greene sleeves, those were the dayes indeed, oh there was then such a company for dancing singing and fooling, I doe not meane the wits, for sooling is another thing cleare from it; It does so bravely in company, when there is a great many that care not for wit, and pleases better than all the wit in the world; and then there was such brave jeasts, at the death of a Stag, and Buck; to throw blood up and downe, upon folkes faces; the very Footn en and Pages understood those Jeasts then; there was a time; and the Landerers were as well Employed in a progresse then as now, and the Surgeons got as much by 'em too; oh, I shall never forget those times.

So, so, how doe I looke in this transfor∣mation? will any body know me dost thinke? Mistris Lucy, shall have the first sight of my shape; some body is gone into the dining roome, let us out at the backe doore James. Exeunt.

'Tis well done Nice to be carefull about your Mistris.

I am giving her some instructions about dressing, and was saying, she must not goe above once to court in black, it would be very scanda∣lous without intermixing colours, in her petti∣cote, sleeves, and stomacher, and the colours now in fashion are blew, pincke, and incarnadine, yel∣low is much worne too.

But 'tis very materiall, what lace you wil choose, as silver and gold for blew, (Tha's a court maxime) and plaine silver for incarnadine, single or mixt will serve for pincke colour.

It is your Gentlewomans duty to remem∣ber.

Let me alone Madam. When you will keepe house, a long handkercheife, or a round one with a quaife tied under your chin, and a lit∣tle haire curl'd, with a black taffa ta hood, or white sarfenet.

When you pretend to have a cold, you must shew no haire, but weare a forehead cloth, with a pinner over that, these cloathes are much worne by old Ladyes, with which they binde downe a peece of sea recloth upon their forehead, to keepe wrinckles in obedience. How is her haire?

That little that she has is crazie.

She has enough to curle, and you have the discretion to know what proportion is to be lest out, according to the latitude of her face; and to be curl'd with pinnes and orrice pouder, which will neither hurt nor breake it, and then in the Morning to let the combe passe through it once, and open it, between a curle and a freeze, and draw up some of the curles with a bodkin within the other haire.

My haire will never indure all this.

You must endure more, if you meane to be a Lady of fashion, and attractive; where be the pendants?

Must she not weare a Feather?

Not without a diamond bodkin; have you no Jewels?

Yes, In the knot of my handker∣chiefe.

Would she were hangd in the fellow, con∣dition we had the rest.

They must be changd, but Nice may weare these til you get new, they will serve to practice in. (Knock within.

There's a Coach at doore.

Ile pawne my ability the French Lord, 'tis about the time I gave directions to his Foot∣man; for his entertainment, you must take upon you the rich widdow, and be you carefull to ob∣serve Mrs Nices Language, garbe, and behaviour, to men of his quality; your Rings and Jewels up∣on her will credit the cause, and person he comes to visit, which is your self, but under a vaile. Ile prepare his Lordship. Exit.

This is all for your instruction; these rings fit me excellent well, and hereaster you may take pride upon you by my example.

I hope I shall learne in time; but I shall be more than a Lady if I marry with a Lord.

Alas, I am but the Lady in the Play.

Now you put me in mind, I have seen pret∣ty harlotry Ladies in a Country Play, so proud, and so knavish, one would have sworn they had been women indeed.

Hee's here, you must be modest, and ob∣serve your distance now; Is this the Lord? He looks like an over-grown Monkey.

What pretty foolish things some of these young Lords are?

Your Lordship is bountifull; that is she whom fame hath delivered to you; your honour may advance.

Begar dis rish viddow looke young as my selfe.

If my eyes be not in a mist this is the French Dancer.

Vat is your name?

He means to catechise her.

I shall be happy if your Lordship please to own me by the title of your servant.

You must learne to complement thus—'Tis Galliard sure.

She kisse very vel begar, she have de Ala∣mode touch of de lip ma foy; can you dance Madam?

I am now confirm'd.

Will he kisse me too?

Vat is she?

A Gentlewoman that attends me for the present.

Dat is a de reverence for de divel, she look like a de wihch Madam, but me tell you Ma∣dam, for me love you very mush in the little time, as any man in de varle; me be French Lor, and me have lodging in de autre street, Duke de Me∣morency my kinsman, and two tre hundred great Lors have lose deir head in France begar for no matre, and me flye to Englan to save a me neck by me trot.

Were you guilty of any treason?

What is your estate?

Begar very grand estate in Orleance, me have two tre Lettre from de Cardinall, and he write a me, dat de King send for me to kiss his hand: Now as me vas in de resolution to take a de ship for France, me heare of you Madam in de Strand, and me very glad to marry you before me go presently.

Your Lordship is very briefe, but I find not my self enclin'd to crosse the Seas.

The Sea, mary shield, Ile not see the salt water for any Lord in Christendome, I, Ile rather be no Lady.

Who, how now insolence, how dare you interpose?

Will you be ridiculous, and betray your self now?

Begar you have de Gypsey complexion, and looke like de sign of-de Robin Hood and maid a Marian.

Robin Hood in thy face, does he maid a Marian me?

She is not worth your Lordships passion, I shall teach you better manners.

Begar you shall have mush need of dat.

My Lord, you did aske me if I could dance.

The wench has found him.

Dere is noting in de varle for de Lady, like a de understanding in de foot.

I cannot praise my own ability, but I ad∣mire the excellency of other Ladies, and should be fortunate to meet with some Master in thafa∣culty, that would Instruct, and exercise me in private.

Your Lordship is too humble, it is an office would become one that is mercenary; I af∣fect dancing infinitely, oh that we had but some musick here; la, la, ra. (She sings, Gal. draws out his Fiddle.

is comming out.

What's that a bedstaffe?

It is a French pocket-pistoll.

Will he shoot it oft here? I could never indure a gun. Exit.

Forboon, brave, ah, dat is like a de Prin∣cess, Allez.

You shall not be so publick in your graces to me; conceale your Fiddle tillsome private op∣porunity.

Me understand.

How does your Lordship like her? You have her in an excellent humour.

Kisse a me madam—hah? 'tis heaven? de Poet talke of de Nectar, begar here is it; me never drink devine blanke or de Claret, so me have but two tre drop divine from your lip—Metresse speake a for me.

The foole is extasied; in his worst conditi∣on he will serve for a husband; how he dances in a Net?

He has money, and a Trade, he will serve wench.

If me get dis rish widdow, me cozen 'em both begar.

Do you think he loves me indeed. Ex. Vol.

I have not been abroad to day, but I dare trust my self with your Lordship.

Oh Madam, a vostre service, now if me get a de Priest all is perfect.

Be all these Trunkes hers?

We ha not stowage enough for half, she is infinitely rich.

Hast thou prepar'd her?

I find her very apt, 'tis her only ambition to be a Lady, a French Lord has her in chase, but I have delivered your character, and what privi∣ledge she may have by charter of her Knight.

I long to see her, is she handsome?

What she wants in beauty and breeding, she has in estate Sir.

That, that's enough, I can have beauty in other places, and will exceed what I conditi∣on'd for, if I prosper. I will have this Widdow in spight.

How Sir William?

To spight the Lady Beaufield, and her Magog that affronted me; I would lose no opor∣tunity, a widdow must be taken in the pick; say I am come and commend me to the heavens, Ile make all good.

For that we must take our chance; thou shalt be sure of a good lease for thy life, and desti∣ny agree upon us afterward.

Shall I direct you?

Sha't be my evening, and my morning star. Exeunt.

You too much afflict your self Mistris Lu∣cy, 'tis but some humour he put on to try the strength of your affection.

He is lost; not for my sake, but for his own I pitty him, and I am confident, if I were so hap∣py to speak with him agen, I should prevaile to win him to his first and noble temper; my end being so just, I could dispence with modesty to find him out, and perfect the act of charity.

You have imployd Formoll, from whom you may expect to heare such an account, as may dry up your sorrows.

I see Sir you preserve your confidence.

I dare be just in your commands, and in a service you but smile upon, despise the censure of the world.

Saw you not the Knight since?

The sweet hopes that he swallow'd, to prepare me a ridiculous object to you Madam, was gall upon his stomack, when he found you had mercy on my confidence; he dares not converse with so unlick'd a beare, as this shape must present Enter Simpleton, and James. his criticall eye sight. Whats here? one sent to affront me?

Have we got Adam Bell, and Clim o'th Clough?

We be three, good Mr William of Cloudesly.

'Tis so.

And how, and how shew matters Mistris Lucy? every mans Cap is not made of the same matter.

Sir, this is most uncivill, and your rash∣nesse, beside the forfeit of your own discretion, will lay an imputation to wound my fame; with∣in my presence, and beneath my roofe, which should protect all strangers, to affront a Gentle∣man that visits me—

Be bold sir, and presume you have my favour, you never appear'd handsome till this minute; beare up, your mirth becomes you rare∣ly.

Dos't isaith?

What does my mother meane?

Spit o' thy hand, and clap me oth' shoulder Iames, the widow her selfe is in love with me.

I may turne o're the Daughtet to thee.

I would I had her in an Embroiderd clout.

Sure my Lady is but in jeast.

His follow Deere?

Thou Douglas?

This Lady has but fool'd me all this while; make much of your new Antick Madam, I can shift into my selfe agen, and if that thing were worth my anger, or my envy, beate him; you have a pretty humour, cherish it, and that William of the Wispe, till I visit you agen.— Exit

The Gentleman is jealous.

I protest Madam if it had hot been not your sake, and that it had been pitty to have spilt any blood, in your Dining roome, I would ha done something

In his breeches.

But I shall report your noblenesse a∣broad.

Doe not play the foole to much, I am out of the humour to laugh at you; he cannot leave me thus.— Exit Beau.

This was no tricke to catch the old one.

How came you into this habit Simpleton?

By reading Ovids Metamorphosis, and to shew the variety of my wit.

Let me entreat you hold your feet toge∣ther,—now you put me mind of a Smiths bel∣lowes, your body is not all of a peece sure, but severall limbes thrust into severall pudding bags, you would shew terrible to the crowes in a wheat field, you are no living creature.

Perswade me to that, am I not sensible?

He that does that cure upon you, will de∣serve a chronicle; so desiring you would take home your flaile there, for here is like to be no thrashing worke, I commit you to the Barne, where like another Orpheus, you will draw the horse, and sheepe, to the melody of your voyce, and ravish all the Cowes in the Countrey, to heare you sing Packingtons pound.— Exit.

She has made a coxcombe on you.

Hum? I wo'not out o'the pit for all this, I have another devise, and thou shalt assist me, if that faile, I'le dye a bachelor, and make thee my heire.

I shall but pray for your death sir.

So, so, I'le dance no more, a song, lets have a song now.

Take heed of the old ballads, ecclip∣ed, Like Hermit poore, eyes hide my love, or Panae in the brazen Tower.

Or the lamentable complaint of Ariad∣ne, and Theseus, and the more lamentable for being so long.

Doe you heare Madam vertue, Lady modesty cannot you play your part?

Not upon the violin.

They are both for the Gambo.

You shall play the part of my Mistris, you must be witty then, and extreame coy and scurvy, in your answers; go behind that hanging, I will suppose it your chamber; now Boy the Song I made to the window, while I mustle my selfe with the fidlers, to bid my Mistrisse good morrow in the street, observe the conjuration.

She's not awake, play a ratling tune that may startle her; where's this whore? ha!—

She's gone.

Vanish'd? so he might have sung a∣way his lungs.

It may be, she is retir'd, for you know what Lady; come let us drinke.

Was your Muse at all this expence to the fidles? do you write to no other company sir?

Till they have my liveries; Ile maintaine 'em in songs, wind up your voyce agen▪

The pure spirit of Sack in't.

The wits Elixar.

No jeering Gentlemen, I shall grow loud and break the peace.

These Gentlemen are for nothing but song and drink, I see no market all this while; Ile get me hence too; if please you, Ile see if I can find out my sister. Ex. 2 Jeer.

There's but one stoole in the counting house, and Lady you shall stay till she returne; Gentlemen there's no life in you; I cannot do this roring and whoring handsomely; little thinks Lucy what Comrades I have got.

I have a pretious confidence in you Gen∣tlemen, to trust my single modesty amongst so many.

VVhat would you give to be ravish'd now? thou hast an excellent complexion for't.

Ravish'd? preserve the Gentlemans deare wits Sack I beseech thee.

You would not lose by it if he ravish you.

another Song, and direct your voice to this Lady.

A discovery?

What new-found Land?

The Pigeon that left us hath been in another roome with Mr Formall my Lady Beau∣fields Gentleman Usher, there he sits like the picture of a Harry Soveraigne in a chaire, while she is picking on's pocket.

Fetch him, and his Fairy hither, but for his Mrs sake usher him with loud musick. Ex. Jeer.

Wee'l have some sport. (Flowrish.

Where's the wench?

The wench has made an escape, she had a glimpse before and suspected me, but here's the wicked Elder.

What saies my wise▪ Luullus?

Sir, my business was to you, though I met a Remera that is already sunke, I was sent by a Gentlewoman, but no body must know it.

That's but your fee for entrance, your garnish only; come sir there's no remedy.

I hope you will conceale it Gentlemen.

VVhar will become of me? would you and I Lady were in a back roome.

So now speak my Lord Embassador, I know your soveraign Lady greets us well.

Alas sir, my Lady does not know of my comming; I would speak with you from one that shall be nameless, who thinks you are a debauch'd Gentleman, under the Rose, and desires to talk with you when you are sober: I would be loath to disgrace you before this good company, neither was I willing to tell her what I heard about your drinking and whoring.

To the point.

I, I, to the point.

The principall matter then, and indeed my whole employment at this time to you is—

VVhat in the name of circumspection?

He would make a costive Statesman.

It is sufficient one desires to speak with you, I name no time, nor person, I know my office; Mistris Lucy is not to be named at all times.

Mistris Lucie, I am her servant; come drink this narrow sea to her health, you must be drunk insallibly, Ile give a reason; I sweare by Muscadell That I do love her well; come yee Mermaids—

Ile do you reason then; but is this Mus∣cadell? Mr Newman has sworne; for my own part, Gentlemen, I desire it should go no further.

Excellent!

Now give Mr Formall his cup.

I have had the narrow sea, I cannot drink an Ocean.

His t'other cup; you had my wench as I remember, and Ile prescribe you a pennance; there's another whore for you, drink to her and shee shall pledge.

Give me thy hand, and set thy foor to mine.

You may trust your single modesty with him.

For my own part, I had rather do things privately; come kisse me first—here's to thee, my flesh tingles—

A word with you two Squiers.

Any thing for a shelter, I foresee a storm; and what is one Cat among so many Mastives?

You are melancholly.

You lye, you that say nothing lye, if you be of his opinion.

Me thinks we are very merry.

We are exceeding merry.

Have you discharg'd your Culvering? where's the paraquito?

I drunke it off.

She is vanish'd too.

Then we are our selves, and make me your example; you know your Province Sirra, make ready for an Angell, sing the designe of ho∣nour, and of fancy. Ex. boy.

Off With Formalls Doublet, off with his Doublet, throw't into the fire, that's a good phan∣sic; now he is Formall right.

I did not drink hard, for I am cold, the wench would keep me warme, she's a notable fire∣drake; will it please you sir to go to the party?

Now does he betray what a Bawd he would be.

Does no body know where to get a Ser∣pent with two legs that hath never a sting?

I have a great mind to drink a health in one of my boots.

I drink no beere glasses, if a shooe will serve turne—

His shooe, my scabberd, a match.

My glove.

His cap.

Fill brimmers, every man to his Mistris; now do not I like this phansie.

There's wooll in my scabbard, which is a spungious matter, and when I ha done (Musick Throne descends I may leave my drink behind me, and that's a hanging matter, which I am principally to avoid—Do you heare the Musick of the Spheres Gentle∣men?

What's that?

From the roofe a Throne?

This roome is mine, and cald the field of Tempe; Because I woonot stay while (The Wench peeps from under the Table. the Plaies are done when I have a humor to be merry, and drink healths in the clouds, I built this Elisium; and when bright Sack hath crown'd my brow, how soon I am made immortall, you may guesse.

Is not Bacchus the best good fellow God on 'em all? Let me see, Formall shall be King, and he sent to heaven presently.

Send me to heaven? why should I be sent thither before another man?

Ret, Ret, verily Ret, here's the Fartridge under the Table.

Alas what shall I doe?

You shall to heaven Lady?

What before my time? and whether I will or no?

It shall be with as much ease, as if it were in a Featherbed.

Let us sleepe together.

Ah pitty a poore Gentlewoman, if you have hearts of flesh, do not use me worse than heathen Prentices.

So crowne 'm, and give to each a glasse of wine, for a scepter.

Gentlewoman, if we must mount, 'tis none of our seeking, we are but Angells in our owne defence, for my owne part, I desire to go thether in no better company.

Up with 'em, and preserve your scepter glasses, doe not spill your blood royall.

Alas, hold there for heavens sake, I must meet three Innes of court Gentlemen at the Stillyard to night, it may be out of my way 20. pound, consider your owne cases.

Peace gentle Queene of grapes.

Thou art a traitor too, oh!

Doe not jog the chariot, let us take our preserment patiently, and drinke a health to the humble mortalls, that turne up their whites to us, this is pretty high drinking.

Drunkards, divells? oh that I were up∣on earth agen.—

He mounts insensibly.

They have a heavenly time on't; you know me sirra.

Noble Mr. Newman.

There's for your attendance.

What's to pay?

They shall pay you the reckoning in the other world, you know the back way thither; come my boyes to the departed, having paid all rites

We now returne.

Like woefull Adamites.

IAm resolved, since faire meanes can∣not prevaile with Mistris Lucy, to steale her away, this is the key of the back-gate o'th' garden, to the fields, be ready when I give the signe to hurry her into the coach, and when I have her at my Countrey-House, Ile take in her maiden towne, upon my owne composition.

You wo'not ravish her.

I am of your opinion.

But she shall find if I get possession.—

The Coachman is a lusty fellow too, and will help to clap her abroad; the curtaines being close she cannot be heard, and the horses will runne, as the devill were in the poope, for he drives like a Tamberlaine.

Holla ye pamperd Jades.

One Traitour more were not amisse for al that.

Thou saist right, for though she be a little woman, her voyce may be too strong for us.

Let us alone, mind your owne part.

Be resolute James. —Exit Simp.

The course I am in, hath brought some men to the Gallowes, and doe I take it for pre∣vention?

What desperate fellow's that?

I am weary of wine and noise, is there no other cure for melancholly? I doe not love the cramp in my necke.

He lookes like a Gentleman that were in debt; my friend doe you come hither to finde a tree? th'art a proper fellow, dost want employment, for though your cloathes have a good glosse, they looke as they were ill lin'd, they want money.

I suffer that which made the old woman mend her pace fir.

Whom doe you serve?

I serve my selfe; my Master is a foole; did you never heare of Simpleton?

That worshipfull puppy?

He knowes him. I have seen you before, but 'tis no matter where; I like thy countenance; can'st keepe counsell? walke o'this hand o'me.

Nay a little further Mistris Lucy, it seemes Mrs Ʋoluble told him no great good fortune, she saw it in his starres, for you know she weares A∣strology at her apron strings; but she told me in private who should be the man, your deere En∣dymion.

Who I beseech you?

The object is presented, and 'tis in vaine to oppose the Constellations, what must be must be, and there were no more Ladyes in the world, I am the man.

To steale her away?

My Master is resolv'd. They are here; close.

She is betraid.—

Now.—

Help; theeves.

Stop her mouth.

Then every man take his chance.

Are you so cunning sir? you shall along with us. (They dis∣arme New.

Worried by Hedghogs!

Are you not kill'd outright sir?

I am not certaine, be sure you hold him fast; to the next Justice; I must get a Surgeon. You are my rivall, I know you well enough, if I miscarry, it shall cost me a hundred pound, but Ile ha thee hang'd for't. Exeunt.

I understand you perfectly Mistris Voluble, and like your proposition; but a word more of the widdow that is at your' house, shee is very rich you say?

Not in understanding.

Tis the better.

Her's all your worship must promise her, to be knighted, for she hath a great mind to bee a Lady.

I know where a blanck lies dormant for a Baronet, it will carry more noise and authority on the bench too.

You have done me some discourtesie here tofore, in beleeving the complaints of Intempe∣rate tongues against me, but you see my charity I desire to live in your worships faire opinion a neighbour.

I will make you amends sweet Mistris V¦luable, y'are a vertuous Gentlewoman on my con¦science: but how shall this widdow be wrought?

Thats done already. The truth is she in∣quir'd of me, (for we women use to open our se∣crets one to another) for some stayd Gentleman that was a Lawier, (because she has so great an e∣state, and many sutes to follow) on whom shee might bestow her selfe, for the security of her for∣tune, and I have already prepared her, and such a commendation of your person, and learned gra∣vity, a Justice of Peace and Quorum, out of my private respects to you, without desire or expecta∣tion of any bribe or reward.

I understand that very well.

I know you doe.

How much I am bound to your vertue?

The widdow has a great mind to see you, but I will contrive it for your honour, shee shall come hither, as to her learned Counsell.

The invincible wit of a woman! how I honour it.

There can bee no losse in't if you get a Chaplaine in readinesse, widowes are taken in the opportunitie.

A Gentleman brought to be examined, that has wounded one Master Simpleton.

Simpleton? that's the widowes son.

Richard, send to the Curate of the Parish, say I would speake with him presently.

Alas who hurt you?

My rivall Master Newman, Is this the ustice?

A former quarrell; if you die, I have aw enough to make it murther, for your good Mo∣thers sake.

Cannot you make it manslaughter, and let me live? for I desire but his death.

Hee shall make it what you please. This Gentleman is to bee Knighted, and loves your mother above all the world, things meet as close, as if they went to engender.

My Mother is worth six thousand pound, if you will promise to make her a Lady, and doe your best to hang the Gentleman, you shall be my Father in Law, when my Landlady sayes the word.

Sir Ile take my leave.

Sweet Mistris Voluble, leave your friend to me, I understand the matter perfectly, and it shall goe hard, but wee will have all the Law on our side. Call in the offender; please you sit; Ri∣chard be ready with your Ammunition, Pen, Inke and Paper.

VVhat is your name sir?

My name is Seare.

He is the Surgeon sir.

Ile teach you o follow your profession sirra, Ile make you an example to all Phleboto∣mers; how often have you beene indited for letting of blood firra?

I understand you nor.

But I understand you sirra; how durst you vi & armis, felloniously assault this noble Gentle∣man in contempt of peice, and the Kings Law, his Crowne and dignity? answer me sirra to that. Ile seeze him.

You VVorship is mistaken, I never see the Gentleman before, I was sent for—

He is the Surgeon sir, that is come to take measure of my Masters wounds, it was that Gent∣leman that let him blood.

VVhy do they not change faces then? away you knave, and looke to the Gentleman; you stand idling here to stumble authority with a fel∣lonious countenance.

Let us be for sworne both in a tale.

Sir, you are one that should doe Justice; where is my poore friend? bee not so much de∣jected, you did but rescue me sir from disho∣nour.

I was in a melancholly humour; 'tis come about as the wise woman concluded.

VVher's Simpleton? I may accuse him for a Rape.

Take heede what you say.

Or some such black intent; this Gentle∣man but interpos'd to save me from their surie, and with his sword punish'd a bold offender by letting out some blood that was corrupted.

Thats not materiall; will you confesse you wounded Master Simpleton? come to the matter.

I confesse it sir, but heare the reason.

I will heare no reason, that were simple justice; take him aside, and you may follow your businesse. Stay young Gentlewoman, I must exa∣mine you.

Shall I withdraw, and shut the doore?

VVhat Justice ir, or Law is this?

It is not Polton, Crompton, nor Fitzerhert, A Justice ought to have some discretion without booke, especially in these cases. I grant you are the root and cause of this misfortune.

I ir?

Be wise, and understand me; nd being in∣dued with such gifts of nature, native beauty and favour, (come a little nearer) and you to abuse your selfe—

How sir?

Or suffer your selfe to be abused (come a little nearer) is not to be thankefull for those ex∣cellent benefits.

VVill you translate an Insolence in others upon my guilt?

You accuse an honest Gentleman for an intent of rape; alas poore soule, it was pure af∣fection in him, hee would have ravished you no doubt, with your owne consent, the fault was your Ingratitude, (a little nearer) Seneca doth write much of Ingratitude, that I may come (a little nearer) or else Nero had not let him blood, (yet nearer) this Nero was a most wicked Tyrant, for all he could play upon a fidle, make ballads, and sing them himselfe, and therefore take heede of cruelty, and be gentle, he kissth her. or, sweet-heart Nero died a violent death.

My Mother.

Lucy you made haste.

Your pardon Madam.

I understand she is a Lady.

In the defence of my owne vertue, and the noble Gentleman that suffers for his charity to me—

I came to assist you. It were an injurie to doubt your justice. My name is Beaufield. If my credit may be interpos'd security for New∣man my daughters knowledge in the cause will Enter Clarke. give a most cleare satisfaction.

Richard, call in the delinquent, this Lady has spoken very much to the matter, as I under∣stand it. Has the Surgeon done yet?

They are comming downe.

Now sir, how many of his wounds are mortall?

There is not one considerable, the Gen∣tleman is in no danger.

But have not you authority to hang him? Ile take my oath, he had an intent to kill me. My Lady and Mistris Lucie? Iames, Ile stay no lon∣ger, since I am not mortally wounded, sneake af∣ter me.

How now? what saucie fellow's this?

Shee's here too. I am bold Cozen to visit you, they say, ther's a Gentleman brought before you, for breach o'th' peace, I come to baile him.

We take no forrainers; what outlandish thing are you, pray?

You know me sir, my name is Manley, you cald me cozen yesterday.

I never saw you before. I know that name, and a Gentleman that ownes it, a kinsman of mine too, but he is no such Brandemart. Richard, doe you know this Mahound? he calls himselfe my cozen Manly.

Why in this habit?

Transmigration?

Is it not some spie ir?

Constable take him to your charge. Ile teach you sirra, to usurpe a Gentlemans name; tis fello∣ny ipso facto, write his mittimus.

By what statute? Trigesimo Secundo of King Phillip? I doe not Madam desire your cerificate.

Y'ar a stranger sir to me, yet I dare bee engag'd for his forth comming, hee has an honest face.

Come hither Richard, theres halfe a peece, rub thy eyes woo't, are they open yet?

I see you plainely now ir, y'are my Ma∣sters cozen, 'tis Master Manley.

'Tis your best course to owne me too; is it so long since you tooke bribes, since you divided and manumisd a crooked chambermaid that robd her Mistris of old Gold? there was a Lancepresa∣do stript a hedge, when you were out of Linnen; Peuter has been left at the back-doore, when you did study Alchymie; I leave the tricke you shew'd the Sailors wife in your Closet, when you pro∣mis'd a reprieve to her goodman from Wapping; I know not that you have run your wither'd mot∣ley face into a premnire; doe not know me, why d'ee no charge the constable?

What is a Justice without eyes, I meane spectacles? 'tis he indeed, I understand, and see him perfectly; welcome, a Chaire for my Co∣sen?

So then. Madam a word with you, I'le make you know me too, ere I ha' done.

There is a matted Chamber & a Couch—More businesse?

Vere is de matre Justice? begar dey have put de sheare upon me, me expect de rish vidow, and have marry the chambermaid, she confesse dat, Maitre Justice, pray take her to your selfe, me desire your varrant, for Metresse Ʋoluble, dat she bring the vidow Simplaton to marry me sans ceremoine, dat is your commissi∣on, or begar me complaine of you to de King.

Did you expect the rich widow Simple∣ton? h, ha! I know this trifle, my Clarke knowes her better

Sir I have onely cause to complaine, he told me he was a French Lord, Mistris Ʋoluble shall make affidavit, and courted me to be his Lady, and now we are married, he proves but a cinquepace. I look'd for thousands per annum, and he is but one, two, three, foure, and five.

How, did he pretend himselfe to be a Lord? 'tis Scandalum Magnatum in the highest degree: and by a statute quinquagesimo of the Queene, if she prosecute, he is to be whip'd, and lose his eares three severall market dayes.

How will you divide his Eares into three equall portions?

Me give a de whip, and me Iose a mine 'ares!

You heare the law, if I complaine.

Sir—Mistris Ʋoluble—

Is the widow come?

The Gentlewoman is come, and de∣sires to speake with your worship in private.

The Curat's in the Hall sir.

So, so, I must intreate your patience for a few minutes; how I am blest! Exit.

Tell a me de trot, have you no Argent, no portion?

But I have a trade.

I dare be sworne thou hast.

Aw dat is someting, here is my hand, you no tell a de tale, a me, and me keepe your Enter Sir William, and Mother. secret by my trot.

I tooke boldnesse Madam upon sight of your Ladiships new Coach at the doore, to entrude and present a poore forsaken servant; give you joy of your old fashion'd young Gentle∣man.

Your companion wants no antiquity, if she have no Visard on.

I hope you are not married Sir?

The matters done, and tis more honourable to make a Lady than to marry one. Does any body know this Gentlewoman, she was a widow till this morning, and a rich one I thanke my staires, and wants the subtile art, some Ladyes have to make themselves ridiculous, by doting upon anticks.

What name has your most reverend Lady?

She was called the wealthy widow of old Simpleton, before I married her.

Ha, ha, ha!

What Is't makes you so merry Mounsieur?

Begar some body make arrant asse of de Knight, hold a me, or me shall cracke a my rib wi'de laugh, dat is no Simplaton, but an autre Chambermaid, de servant to my vife, begar he be sheated too.

I must confesse she waited upon me.

How?

Ha, ha, ha!

Ma foy dat is certaine, ha, ha, ha!

I desie her, that was but a plot.

Begar it was very fine a plot, me have patience, dat dere be more foole in de come∣dy.

Mistris Ʋoluble can justifie what I am, that I am, or would I might nere be, a Lady, and I be'nt, that I be'nt.

I will have Justice.

You may have him sir.

The reason of this noyse my right worshipfull?

Give me a warrant presently.

Against whom?

Ʋolble, I'le have her whip'd.

Wrong not the vertuous Gentlewoman.

Vertuous? vexation.

Why doe you take on so, o' my consci∣ence she is honest enough; does this woman looke like a whore?

I thanke you Gentleman.

She has gravity enough to be a bawde, and then the worst is past.

Is not the widow weight, not perfect sterling?

This is not the widow.

What widow?

The rich widow Simpleton.

I doe believe it, did she promise you marriage?

The devills proctor Mistris Ʋoluble made me believe so.

Doe not wrong I say agen that vertuous Gentlewoman Mistris Ʋoluble, I know her, and know her vertuous, but the rich widow Simpleton, you talke of (thankes be to providence) is newly married, the Priest hath scarce wip'd his oraculous lips, since they pronounc'd us, Man Enter Ʋoluble, and two Ieerers (at one doore) Simpleton, at the other.) and Wife, in my stone Parlour, in good faith la, she's here, her owne tongue will confirme it Gentlemen.

Why does she veile her face.

It is her modesty, to hide her blushes, that I should so soone prevaile upon her: and thus the morning breakes out of the cloudes.

By your leave Landlady, wher's my mother.

Mistris Ʋoluble?

Here's my son, he shall be a witnesse I am his mother, I am married to this Knight, and they would perswade me out of my selfe.

'Tis come about agen, Is this your mother?

I have asked her blessing in my dayes.

There is no remedy, 'twas your owne Curate did it.

Give you joy Mr. Justice.

Conspiracy, is there no law for this?

Yes, yes, the canon law, and you must keepe her.

Let me obtaine Madam your faire con∣struction, Sir William you are sped to your desires, and you are fitted Mounsieur Galliard, but Nice, the Jewells must returne to their right owner.

Excuse a moy.

It must be so, I keepe my wedding ring for thee sweet heart.

I aske you pardon sir, and Mistris Lucy, I had a plot upon your loves, to endeare young Simpleton, in hope your credulous nature, to avoid melancholy, might have beene engag'd to some licentious rudenesse, and so made your self unworthy of her affection, but here I must con∣fesse I have no skill in starres nor fortune telling, and am but one among the rest that have de∣ceiv'd your easy faith, forgive me, as I wish you may thrive in your affections.

I am confirm'd.

Nay then let marriages goe round, with this take both possession of my heart and fortunes.

You but inlarge my power to doe you service.

Your love, and joyes be constant. Mr. Iustice you must embrace Mistris Ʋoluble.

VVell, I will love thee for thy wit; but no more wandring.

You wholly sir shall steere me, and to invite more welcome from you sir, I have not liv'd upon the common charity, I have a state is not to be despis'd.

Saist thou so, wee'l put our stocks to∣gether and live merrily.

Will they not take his word? alas poore Formall, there, there's their ransome, bid the whore be honest, I'le plead his reconcilement to my Lady.

I am gone.

But d'ee heare, must I ha' no wench, at the end of the play? that have taken all this paines? what will you doe with me?

Well remembred, this Lady did accuse him; though I miss'd of the Mother, I will make sure of the son, make his warrant for New∣gate presently.

How Sir?

I know how very well Sir.

You call'd it love before, I freely pardon him.

Let this Day be consecrate to peace, and Hymen.

And the Night to Ʋenus; let it be so, and thanke this Gentlewoman.

I thanke you all, and will never trust a witch for your sake, I'le goe seeke out my wits.