IF THIS BE NOT
A GOOD PLAY, THE
DIVELL IS IN IT.
Enter (at the sound of hellish musick,)
Pluto, and Charon.
Plu.
H!
Cha.
So.
Plu.
What so.
Cha.
Ile be thy slaue no longer.
Plu.
Wha slaue?
Cha.
Hels drudge, her Gally-slaue. I ha'wore,
My flsh toth' bones, bones marrowles, at the Oaer
Tugging to waft to'thy Stygian empire, Soules,
Which (but for Charon) neuer had come in Sholes,
Yet (swarmde they nere so,) them on shore I set,
Hell gets by Charon, what does Charon get?
Plu.
His Fare.
Char.
Scuruy fare, ile first cry garlick.
Plu.
Doe:
And make hel stinck, as that does hither.
Cha.
If I doe!
Some like that smell, my boate to shore ile pull;
Not worke a stroake more.
Plu.
How?
Ch.
Not touch a Scull.
Pln.
Why?
Cha.
I ha' no doings: Graues-end-barge has more,
And cares as good as any are in hell;
I feare th' infernall riuers are frozen or'e
So few by water come: els the whores that dwell
Next dore to hell, goe about: besides, tis thought,
That mn to find hell, now, new waies haue sought,
s Spnirards did to the Indies. Pluto, mend
My wages, or row thy selfe.
Plu:
Vgly, grumbling slaue,
Haue I not raisde thy price? yet still do'st craue?
Such bold braue beggers (heard off ner'e before
Are thy fares now, they teach thee to beg more.
Thy fare was (first) a halfe-peny, then the soules gaue thee
A peny, then three-halfe-pence, we shall haue thee
(As market-folkes on darth,) so damned-deere,
Men will not come to hell, crying out th'are heere
Worse racke then th'are in tauernes: why doest howle for mony?
Cha:
For mony: Ile haue ij. d. for each soule
I ferry ouer; Im'e old, craz'd, Stiffe, and lam'de,
That soule thats not worth ijd. wou'ld twere damb'd.
Plu:
Thou shalt not.
Cha:
I will haue it, or lye still,
If Charon fill hell, hell shall Charon fill:
For Ghosts now come not thronging to my boate,
But drop by one and one in; none of note
Are fares now: I had wont braue fellowes to ply,
Who, (hack't and mangled) did in battailes dye.
But now these gallants which doe walke hells Rowndes,
Are fuller of diseases, than of woundes.
If wounded any take my boate, they roare,
Being stabd, either drunke, or slaine about some whore.
Thats all the fight now.
Prod:
Charon.
Within.
Plu:
Get thee gon:
That call'd for.
Prod:
Charon.
Cha:
Ball not. Ile come anon.
Hagges of hell gnaw thee with their fowle furd-gummes.
Plu:
Pluto, no wonder if so few hither comes?
Cha.
Why:
Gingerly: See See,
One of thine owne promooters, (with hawkes eyes,
That should for prey be watching) here suoring lyes.
Plu:
With a mischife! cabind! a fury.
Char.
Ile Ferret out more.
Ruffman comes vp, Furie Enters.
Cha.
Another: looke: dancing abaw'de on's knee.
Enter Shackle-soule comes vp.
Shack.
I doe enquire if rich bawdes Carted bee
On earth as well as poore ones: I sleepe not Pluto.
Plu.
Twist stronger-knotted whips, Ile wake you (slaues!)
Cha.
Two of thy Summers dead drunke here too.
Lur.
Thou lyest.
Charon.
Lurchall and another Sqirit comes vp.
Cha.
I come: If I must worke, let these
Thy Prentices, plye their occupation,
T vphold hells Kingdome, more must worke then one.
Exit.
Plu.
Ha; Are there whipping-posts for such as dwell
In Idlenes on Earth, and yet shall Hell
(As if wee tooke bribes here too,) let such passe▪
Ile haue you tawde: Is not the world as t'was?
Once mother of Rpes, Incests, and Sodomies,
Atheisme, and Blasphemies, plump Boyes indeed.
That suck'd (our Dams brest) is shee now barren? Ha▪
Is there a dearth of villaines?
Omn.
More now then euer?
Plu.
Is there such peurie of man-kinde Hell-houndes▪
You can lye snoring.
Ruff.
Each Land is full of Rake-hells.
Shac.
But sholes of Sharkes eate vp the Fish at Sea.
Lur.
Braue pitchy villaines there.
Plu.
Yet you playing here.
Omn.
No, No; most awefull Plut.
Plu.
Were you good Hell-hounds, euery day should bee
A Symon-and-Iude, to crowne our bord with Feasts
A blacke-eyde-soules each minute: were you honest diuel▪
Each officer in hell should haue at least,
A brace of whores to his break-fast: aboue vs dwell,
Diuells brauer and more subtill then in Hell.
Omni.
Weele fill thy pallace with them.
Plu.
Ile trye that: goe:
Rufman, take instantly a Courtiers shape
O any country: choose thine owne disguize
And returne swiftly.
Ruf.
Yes.
Exit.
Plu.
Shackle-soule weare thou
A Friers graue habit.
Shac.
Well.
Exit.
Plu.
Grumshall walke thou
In trebble-ruffes like a Merchant.
Lur.
So: tis don.
Exit.
Plu.
The barres of our latigious Courts had wont
To crack with thronging pleaders, whose lowde din
Shooke the infernal hell, as if 't had bin
An earth-quake bursting from the deepe Abisse,
Or els Ioues thunder, throwne at the head of Dis
(The God of gold,) for hiding it below,
Thereby to tempt churles hither. Nor did we know
What a Vacation ment: continuall terme
Fattend hels Lawyers, and shall so againe.
Enter Rufman, Srackle-soule and Lurchall.
Ruf.
Here.
Shac.
Here.
Lur.
Command vs.
Plu.
Fly into the world:
As 'are in shapes transformde be so in name,
For men are our sides onely: be you the same;
thee to Npls, (Rufmn), thou shalt finde
A Prince there (newly crownde,) aply de
To any bendin▪ least his youthfull browes
at Stars only, wey down his loftiest boughes
leade plome poison his best thoughts with tast
O thing most sensuall; if the heart once wast
The body feeles consumption; good or bad kings
Breede Subiects like them: cleere streames flow from cleere springs.
Turne therefore Naples to a puddle: with a ciuill
Much promising face, and well oylde play the court diuell.
Ruff.
Ile doo' in brauery: if as deepe as hell,
Th large eares heare a Land curse me, my part's playd well.
Plu:
Fly Shackle-soule.
Shac.
Whither?
Plu:
To the Friery,
Best-samde in Naples for strict orders: throw
What nts thou seest can catch them: Amongst 'em sow
Seedes of contention, or what euer sin
They most abhor, sweate thou to bring that in.
Shac:
A wolfe in lambe skin leapes into the rout,
Bell, booke, or candle cannot curse me out:
Ile curse aster than they.
Plu.
Doe:
Grumball.
Lur.
Here.
Plu.
Be thou a cittie-diuell, make thy hands
O Harpyes clawes, which being on courtiers lāds
Oce fastend, ne're let loose, the Merchant play,
And on the Burse, see thou thy flag display.
Of politicke bnk-ruptse: traine vp as many
To fght vnder it, as th canst, for now's not any
That breake, (theile breake their necks first) if, beside
Thou canst no through the whole citie meete with pride,
Riot, lechery, enu, , and such stuffe,
Bing 'em all-in coach'd, the gares are wide enough.
The spirit of gold instruct thee: hence all.
Omn.
Fly.
Plu.
Sta, lest you should want helpers at your calling
Any diuels shll come, (Sarch hound, Tobacco-spawling,
Vpshotten, Suckland, Glitterbacke, or any
Whom you shall neede to imploy, but call not many,
The'rs but ew good in hell. And stay, remember
We all meete to heare how you prosper.
Omn.
Where?
Plu.
The Tree
Blasted with Goblins, that bout whose roote
5. Mandrakes growe, 'th Groue by Naples there,
Meete there.
Omn.
Wee shall.
Plu.
Our blessings with you beare.
Ruff.
Dread king of Ghosts, weele plye our thrift so well,
Thou shlt be forc'd to enlarge thy Iayle of Hell.
Plu.
Be quicke th'at best, let sawy mortals know,
How ere they sleepe, there's one wakes here below.
Exeunt.
¶Enter Alphonso (King of Naples) Crownde, wea∣ring
Robes Imperiall, Swordes of State, Maces, &c.
being borne before him, by Octauio Astolfo, (2. vnckles)
Narcisso, Iouinelli, Bisco, (Counts) with others, Counte
Spendola meeting them.
Spen.
One of those gallant Troupes went forth to meete
Your admirde Mistris (Erminhild the faire)
Hath left your Conuoy with her on the way.
K.
And brings glad newes of her being here (this day)
Let Canons tell in Tunder her Arriuall,
When shee's at hand our selfe ill meete her,
FlourishOmn. On. Hee takes his Seate; Al kneele.
K.
Pray rise; vntill abou our browes were throwne,
These sparkling beames, suh adoration
Was not bestowde on vs: whom does the knee
Thus louely worship? this Idoll, (Gold) or mee?
Indeed t'is the world Saynt, if that you adore,
Ge, pray to you coffers. None to vs shall bow,
Giue God your knees.
Oct.
Whose owne voice does allow
That Subiects should to those who re Suprme,
Bend, as to God, (all King being like to h)
Ast.
Thou wonder of thy time, Ile pay no more
To thee of dutie than has bene before
And euer shall be payd to those sit Hye.
K.
Pray mocke not mee with such Idolatry,
Kings, Gods are, (I confesse) but Gods of clay,
Brittle as you are, you as ood as they,
Onely in weight they differ, (this poore dram)
Yet all bu flesh and bloud; And such I am.
If such, pray let mee eate, drinke, speake, and walke,
Not look'd cleane through, with superstitious eyes,
(Not star'de at like a Comete.) As you goe
Or speake, or feede, (vn wondered at) let mee so▪
Oct.
Not Kings of Ceremonie.
K.
Vncle what then?
Still are they Kings.
Oct.
But shew like common men.
K.
Good vncle know, no Sunne in this our Spheare,
Shall rule but Wee, let others shine as cleare,
In goodnes, None in greatnes shall.
Ast.
Blest raigne!
The Golden worlde is molding new againe.
K.
All that I craue is this, and tis not newe,
Pay vnto Caesar onely Caesars due.
Oct.
We owe thee loyall hearts, and those weele pay,
Each minute (Mirrour of Kings.)
Iou.
Marke, the olde Lords promise their hearts, but no money.
Oct.
Here are the Names f bold conspirators,
(Yong Catilines, and farre more desperate)
Who in your Fathers dayes kindled the fires
Of here Rbellion.
K.
Which are now burnt out.
Oct.
Who knowes that? embers in dead Ashes lye.
King, Set thy hand to this let raytors dye.
Ast.
Tis fit you should doe so.
Oct.
Sound ollicie.
K.
Men many things hold fit,
That are not good,
A yong Beginner and set vp in blood!
(Butchers can doe no more.)
Shall Recordes say
Being Crownde, he playd the Tyran the first day,
How should that Chronicler be cur'd? your paper.
When such a fatall booke comes in my sight,
Ile with Vespasian wish I could not write,
Their bond is canceld. I forgiue the debt,
See that at liberty, they all be set.
Omn.
A Princely Act.
Oct.
If wisely tis well done.
Spn.
That raigne must bost,
Which mercy has begun.
K.
Beare witnes all, what pace the Chariot wheeles
Of our new guided Soueraigntie shall run.
Rus.
A mayne gallop I hope.
K.
And here I vow to end as tis begun.
Ast.
Heauen fill thee full of dayes,
But (being all told)
Ending no worse,
Their summe weele write in gold.
Oct.
The course youle take deere Lord.
K.
This: pray obserue it.
Iou.
Call you this Coronation day? woud I were ith
streetes where the condutes run claret wine, there's some
good fellowship.
Oct.
Peace.
K.
Each weeke within the yeere shall be a booke
Which each day ie reade or'e: I well may doe't,
The booke being but six leaues (six dayes,) the seuenth
Be his that owes it;
Sacred is that and hye;
And who prophanes one houre in that,
Shall dye.
Spen.
How manie wilbe left aliue then this day fortnight?
Oct.
First, beate all Tauernes downe then, Soules are lost
(Being drownde in Surfets) on that seuenth day most.
Stay (best of Kings) mine owne hand shall set downe
What lawes thou mad'st first day thou wor'st a Crowne.
Begin, begin thy weeke.
K.
Write Monday.
Oct.
So so, Monday.
Iou.
They say Monday's Shooemakers holliday, Ile fall to
that trade.
Oct.
I haue writ it downe my liege.
Iou.
Peace, harken to your lesson.
K.
That day, from morne till night, Ile execute
The office of a Iudge, and wey out lawes
With euen scales.
Iou.
Thats more than grocers doe.
K.
The poore and rich mans cause
Ile poize alike: It shall be my chiefe care
That bribes and wrangling be pitch'd o're the barre.
Iou.
We shall haue old breaking of neckes then.
K.
Downe with that first.
Oct.
O for a pen of gold!
Youle haue no bribes.
K.
None.
Oct.
Yet terme-time all they yeere!
A good strong law, suite cannot now cost deere.
K.
Haue you done?
Oct.
I'me at bribes, and wrangling done presently.
Nar.
We must all turne pettifoggers, and in stead of git
rapiers, hang buckram bags at our girdles.
Iou.
All my clients, shalbe women.
Spen.
Why?
Iou.
Because they are easiest fetched ouer: there's some∣thing
to be gotten out of them.
Oct.
Thy monday's taske is done: whats next?
Iou.
Sunday if the weeke goes backward.
King.
Tuesdayes weel'e sit to heare the poore-mans cryes,
Orphans and widowes: our owne princely eyes
Shall their petitions reade: our progresse then
Shalbe to hospitalls which good minded men
Haue built to pious vse, for lame, sicks, and poore
Weele see whats giuen, what spent, and what flowes or'e
Churles (with Gods mony) shall not feast, swill wine,
And fat their rancke gutts whilest poore wretches pine.
Iou.
This is a braue world for beggers, if it hold.
Oct.
Poore wretches pine, So are they left: tot'h next.
Kin.
Wednesdaies weele spend.
Iou.
In fish dinners.
Kin.
In th' affaires
Of farren states, treate with embassadors,
Heare them and giue them answeres. Thursday, for warres.
Iou.
That's well: better be together byth'ares, then to goe
halting to hospitalls.
Kin.
Our Neapolitane youths (that day) shall try
Their skill in armes, poore scorned Soldiers
Shall not be suffer'd beg here (as in some landes)
Nor stoope slaue-like to Captaines proud commands,
Staue, and lie , when the selfe-same pay,
The Souldier fights for, keepes the Leaders gay.
Nor shall he through ice and fire make gray his bread,
Weare out new Moones, onely to earne his bread,
Wade vp to'th beard in torrents; and be drownd
All saue the head; march hard to meete a wound,
I'th very face, and euen his heart-strings cracke,
To win a towne, yet not to cloath his backe:
And the blacke storme of troubles being gon,
Shund like a creditor, not looked vpon,
But as court-pallats (when bright day drawes nye)
Rold vp in some darke corner is throwne by.
Vncle write that.
Oct.
Fast as my pen can trot.
Spen.
What a number of tottred roagus wilbe turn'd into braue
fellowes a this new change of the moone
Iou.
The brauer they are, the sooner are mercers vndon.
Oct.
Souldiers are downe too.
Kin.
Downe with Learning next.
For friday shalbe spent it'h reuerend Schooles,
Where weele sift brnne from Houre, (hisse babling fooles,
But crowne the deepe-braind disputant) none shall hold
Three or foure Church-liuings (got by Symonious gold)
In them, to fat himselfe as in a stye,
When greater Schollers languish in beggery:
And in thin thred-bare cassacks weare out their age,
And bury their worth in some by vicorage:
This weele see mended.
Enter Iouenella.
Iou.
Tyth pigges youl'e smoake for this.
Kin.
So set it downe.
Oct.
Schollers languish in beggery-So:
Thy fridaies law is writ; for Satterday, what?
King.
I mary sir, All our cares now for that.
Well to begin, and not end so were base,
The winning of the gole crownes eachmans race.
Narcisso stepping in before in the Scene, Enters here.
Nar:
Sir, theres a stranger newly ariu'de your court,
And much importunes to behold your Highnes.
Kin:
What is he?
Nar:
Of goodly presence.
Kin:
Let him see vs.
Rufman brought in by all.
Ruff:
The powers that guide me, guard thee, I haue heard thy name
In regions far hence, where it does refound
Lowder than here at home; to touch this ground
Iha pass'd through countries, into which none here
Would willingly saile I thinke, and with me bring,
My loue and seruice, which to your grace I tender.
Kin:
What are you, and whence come you?
Ruff:
From Heluetia.
Spen:
What hell sayes hee?
Iou:
Peace you sall know hot hell time enough.
Ruff:
I am an Heluetian borne, the house from which I
am descended, ancient and well knowne to many princes:
Bohor is my name.
Iou:
Zounds! Bohor! has struck two of my teeth out with his name,
Ruff.
A Shalcan Tartar being my grandfather
Men call me Shalkan Bohor. About the world
My trauailes make a girdle (perfect round:)
So that, what wonders Kings on earth euer found
I know, and what I know, Is yours.
K.
Braue Heluetian,
We giue you thankes and welcome: your arriuall▪
Is faire and to our wish, of those dayes
Which Time sets downe, to number vp a weeke,
Euery day haue we tasked; saue onely one,
How in these courts of Kings (through which you haue gon,)
Doe Princes wast their howres?
Ruff.
How but in that,
For which they are borne Kings? (Pleasure:) euery mans ayme,
Is to hi pleasure: onely tis changde in name,
Thats all the difference; Are Kings Tirants? Blood
Is then their pleasure: thirst they after warres!
Ambition tickles them; that for which man most cares,
Good or bad, tis his pleasure, and to gaine it,
His soule must compasse i tho hell restraine it▪
To this marke all mens thoughts, Creation drew,
That all might striue fo a thing, thats got by fewe:
Who are those few but Kings? and tis fit they
Should haue it, because true pleasure does soone decay.
K.
How like you his counsell?
Omn.
Rarely.
Oct.
What uffians this?
K.
Bohor tha'st warm'd our yong blood; Al cares of state;
Shall that day sleepe, to our selfe weele Saterday haue,
Pleasure (the slaue of Kings shall then be our slaue,
Lords let there be a proclamation drawne,
What man soeuer (strange or natiue borne,)
Can feast our spleene, and heigthen our delight,
He shall haue gold and be our fauorite.
Tilts, turneys, masques, playes, dauncing, drinking deepe
Tho ere noone all Naples lye dead-drunke a sleepe.
Oct.
How King?
Kin.
Weele haue it so vnle.
Omn.
Downe with that too.
Iou.
Print Satterday in great text letters.
Oct.
Well, well, it shall.
Our swan turnes crow, poisond with one drop of gall.
Kin.
Ile haue this proclamation forthwith drawne.
Nar.
And publish al the daies.
Pris.
And Satterday.
Iou.
Especially that at large if you can in red,
like a Dominicall letter.
Kin.
Goe see it don.
Iou.
My taske.
Exit.
Kin.
Why sigh you? Of six dayes wo'd you not spare me one?
Oct.
Thine owne lawes from thine owne mouth, weele
proclaime, if thine owne words thou e'ast, bee't thine owne
shame.
Enter Iouinelli hastily.
Iou.
Your long expected happines is arriu'd,
The princesse of Calabria.
Kin.
Thou crown'st me agen▪
Deere vncle, honored Lords, with whole court
Honor her hither; I am rapd with Ioy,
And lost till I behold her: fetch me my loue.
Oct.
I feare deepe whirlepooles tho it run smooth aboue.
Ki.
To our worthy friend your welcomes.
Ex. Oct. & Ast.
Iou.
But pray Sir tell vs, meane you that we indeed
Shall haue but one playing day through the whole weeke?
Kin.
All Iouinells, weele be Iouiall all.
Bris.
Till Satterday came, we liu'de in terrible feare.
Thanke Bohor, who your dead spirits vp did reare.
Kin:
Had I (as first I did begin) gon on,
I like a Schoole-boy should haue worne my crowne,
As if I had borrowed it.
Ruff:
Had bin most vile.
Kin:
Ile be a Sea, (boundles.)
Spen:
Thou art a sunne,
And let no base cloudes muffle thee.
Kin.
Braue Kings all!
Crowne, Scepter, Court, Cittie, Country, are at your call▪
Iou:
There spake young loue indeede.
Pris:
The tyde now turnes.
Nar:
And now weele swim.
Kin:
And laugh, tho the whole world mournes.
Florish.
Omn: Tantara, hey.
Ttūpets.
Erminghild brought in.
Enter Octauio and Astolphe, vshering Erminhild,
attended by Ladies and others.
Nar:
Call vp your lustiest spirits: the Lady's come.
K.
O my earthly blisse! embraces! kisses! how sweete
Are you to parted Louers when they meete?
That entertainement which the Duke your Father,
Lent royellie (late to mee,) I now can pay
At a Kings charge: to our Neapolitane Court,
None (brightest Erminhild can come longd for
More then your selfe.) You haue stolne vpon vs (Ladie)
Erm:
You haue good Law against me, (playing the thiefe)
Your Grace may keepe mee prisoner.
K.
In these Armes;
From whence not Ioue shall raunsome thee; We Twaine
Will wed, and bed, and get a Prince shall raigne
In Naples brauely, when wee both lye dead:
Till then, Pleasures wings, to their full bredth be spread.
Exeū.
Enter Sumbroth, ringing a Bell; Alphege, a Fryer, & Shac∣kle-soule,
in a Friers weede, with cloth to lay.
Scum.
A mangier, a mangier, a mangier, I must needs haue
a mangie voice, whē I doe nothing but ball for a company of
hungry Scabs; a mangier.
Alph:
You must be nimble Rush.
Sha:
As a drawer in a new Tauern, first day the bush is ūg vp.
Scum:
A mangier, a manger, a mangier,
Exit.
Alp.
So: the Lord Priors napkin here, there the Subpi∣ors:
his knife and case of pick-toothes thus: as for the co∣uent,
let them licke their fingers in stead of wiping, and suck
their teeth in steede of picking.
Shac.
What othr dutie Sir, must I call mine?
Alp.
As you are nouice, you are to say grace demurely,
waite on the Priors Trencher soberly, steale away a mouth∣full
cunningly, and munch it vp in a corner hungerly. Ply
your office, Rush.
Exit.
Shak.
Thankes good Frier Alphege: yes, Shackle-soule will play
The taske hee's set to: Diuels neuer idle lye:
Frier Rush! ha, ha: y'haue now an excellent quire,
To sing in hell, the Diuell and the Frier.
Enter Prior, Subprior, Alphege, Hillary, Rush, and other
Friers. All sit: dishes brought in before.
Pri.
Where's Rush, our Iunior Nouice?
Ru.
Here Lord Prior.
Pri.
Stand foorth, and render thankes.
Ru.
Hum, hum:
For our bread, wine, ale and beere,
For the piping hot meates heere:
For brothes of sundrie tasts and sort,
For beefe, veale, mutton, lamb, and porke.
Greene-sawce with calfes head and bacon,
Pig and goose, and cramd-vp capon.
For past raiz'd stiffe with curious art,
Pye, custard, florentine and tart.
Bak'd rumpes, fried kidneys, and lam-stones,
Fat sweete-breads, luscious maribones,
Artichoke, and oyster-pyes,
Butterd Crab, prawnes, lobsters thighes,
Thankes be giuen for flesh and fishes,
With this choice of tempting dishes:
To which proface: with bly the lookes sit yee,
Rush.
Bids this Couent, much good do't yee.
Pri.
How dar'st thou mock vs thou ill nurtur'd slaue?
Sub.
Contemn'st thou our order and religious fare?
Shac.
He has spoken treason to all our stomaches.
Omn.
Downe with the villaine.
Sub.
Mischiefe on vs waites
If wee feede so vile a wretch.
Pri.
Thrust him out at gates.
Shac.
I doe coniure you by my hallowed beades
To heare me speake.
Pri.
Canst thou excuse thy selfe?
Shac.
Alas (my Lord) I thought it had bin here
As in the neighbouring Churches, where the poor'st Vicar
Is filled vp to the chin with choice of meates,
Yet seekes new wayes to whet dull appetite,
As there with holy spels mens soules they cherish,
So with delitious fare, they themselues nourish.
Nor want they argument for sweete belly-cheere
To proue it lawfull.
Sub.
Most prophane and fearefull.
Shac.
But since your order (pious and reuerend)
Tyed to religious fasts, spends the sad day
Wholy in meager contemplation,
I absolution beg on both my knees,
For what my tongue offended in: las! poore Rush
(See't by his cheekes) eates little: I can feede
On rootes, and drinke the water of the Spring
Out of mine owne cup: make an Anatomy
Of my most sinfull carcas: then pardon mee.
Pri.
Thy ignornnce is thy pardon, wee beleeue thee.
Shac.
Gratias reuerenda domine Prior.
Pri.
But do our brethren in parts more remote,
Feede so delitious saist thou?
Shac.
Rush cannot lye.
Sub.
Thou falsely doest accuse those holy men.
Pri.
How can it stand with their profession?
Sub.
Thou saist (vile yongman) they haue arguments
To proue it lawfull gluttonously to feede.
Omn.
Rush, answere the Sub-prior.
Shac.
Auite fratres, they doe not onely proue it lawfull,
but make it palpable, that hee who eates not good in eate is
dambde.
Sub.
Benedicite.
Scu.
What shall become of all vs then?
Pri.
Thou art distracted, whence canst thou force argu∣ment?
Shac.
From sillie reason, would you heare me speake?
Pri.
Speake freely and be bold, listen.
Omn.
Hum, hum, hum.
Shac.
He that eats not good meate is dambd: Sie Dispute.
If he that feedes well hath a good soule, then è Contra.
No, he that feedes ill, hath a bad and a poore soule.
Scu.
Thats wee.
Shac.
And so cōsequenly is dambd, for who regards poore
soules? and if they be not regarded they are cast foorth, and
if cast foorth, then they are dambde.
Sub.
I deny your minor, he that feedes well hath a good soule.
Shac.
Sic probo: the soule followes the temperature of the
body, hee that feedes well hath a good temperature of body,
Ergo, he that feedes well hath a good soule.
Pri.
A ful and edyfying argument.
Omn.
Hum, hum, hum.
Sub.
I deny that the soule followes the temperature of the body.
Shac.
Anima sequitur temeraturā Corporis, It is a principle,
& contra principia non est disputandum, All wee.
Pri.
Its most apparent.
Scu.
O most learned Rush!
Sub.
A shallow Sophister, heare me farder.
Pri.
Subprior, weele heare the rest disputed at our leisure:
you take too much vpon you.
Scu.
Shall I take this vpon me my Lord?
Pri.
Hence with this trash, we haue too long forborne to
tast heauens blessings fully, which to our dutie had more en∣abled
vs, Rush hart some Angel.
Sub.
Rather some diuell sent to bewitch our soules.
Pri.
Sub-prior no more.
Sub.
I must speake, heare me brethren,
Shall we (bound by solemne oathes) t'abuire the world,
And all her sorceries▪ to whom night and day
Are as one hower of prayer? whose temperance makes vs
Endure what ful-fild bellie Gods admire;
Shall we (by zealous patrons) tyde to obserue
Dirges and Requiems for their peacefull soules,
In gluttonous riot bury sacred almes!
Turne Sanctimonious zeale and Charitie
To loathsome surfet? and those well-got goods
Our benefactors sau'd, by their owne fasts
And moderate liuing, shall we feede vpon
Ful-gorging vs till we vomit? fore-fend it heauen!
By all the Saints, by him first taught our order
What temperance was, here shall poore Clement feede,
Till his ore-wearied life, takes her last leaue
Of this all tempting world where all sinnes breede.
Pri.
Howes this? are you become our confessor?
Best thrust vs out at gates, locke vp the Cloister,
And cal in whom you like: be you the Prior.
Speake are you agreed, Rush be our maister-cooke?
Scu.
You haue my voice.
Alp.
And mine.
Pri.
Doe you all consent?
Omn.
Yes, all.
Sub.
First send this fiend to banishment.
Pri.
We haue most voices on our side.
Sub.
You may;
Las! most men coet still the broadest way.
Pri.
Ciue Rush his charge then, Scumb: you must resigne.
Scu.
With a good maw, I shall haue a fatter office to be his scullion.
Shac.
Worthy Lord Prior, heare me yet,
I must not my profession let,
To Scumbroath, what I know ile teach,
To make candels, Iellies, leach,
Sirrup of violets, and of roses,
Cow slip sallads, and kick-choses,
Preserue the apricock, and cherry,
Damin-peare-plom, raspis berry;
Potates ike if you shall lack,
To corroborate the back:
A hundred more shall Rush deuice,
And yet to early mattins rise,
Our ladies office, sing at prime,
At euen-song, and at compline time.
Chant Anthems, Aniuersaries, Dirges,
And the dolefull de profundis.
Pri.
Thou shalt not change thy order: Sirra, cooke,
From Rush take lessons against night, for fare
Abndance and delitious.
Scu.
I shall be greedy to learne of him sir, since your lord∣ship
is turnde, our very Iack and his spits shall turne too,
Exit.
Enter 2. Pilgrimes.
Pri.
What men are these?
Sub.
Welcome good holy father.
Both.
Thankes reuerend maister.
1, Pil.
Blest sir, according to the Churches ite
We (Pilgrimes, to Ierusalem bound) this night
Desire repose, and pious charitie
In your most holy Couent.
Pri.
You are most welcome.
Alphege, goe lead'em in.
Shas:
By no meanes.
Pri.
Why?
Shac.
Tis mortall sin.
Sub.
O black impietie!
Pri:
How? s to feed religious voaies!
Shac:
Rather to nourish idl vagabōd:
The Cleargy of other lands, haue with much pletie
And thrift destroyde those drones, that lzily
Liue eating vp the labours of the bee.
A churchman there cares but to feede the soule,
He makes that charge his ffice. Alsmisdeeds! alas!
They through the Lawyers hands are fitt'st to passe.
Sub.
Can you heare this Diuell?
Shac.
Besids my reuerend Lord,
These manderers here are spies, & soone beare word to Prin∣ces
eares of what they heare and see.
Pri.
Ha Rush! thou speak'st right.
Sub.
Dambd iniquitie!
Pri.
Hence with those runnagates.
Omn.
Come, hence.
Pri.
Spurne 'em away.
Sub.
Oh had mine eyes drop'd out ere seene this day.
Stay comfortles poore soules, my pittying teares
Shall speake what my tongue dares not, here holy men,
You nere shall say when next we meete againe,
Frier Clement to the hungrie grutch'd his meate,
Or to the weary pilgrim lodging, this makes you eate,
And when you haue relieu'd your faintig limbes,
Commend me in your prayers, and midst your hymmes
Thus wish, that he who did your Iorney furder,
May neuer liue, to breake his holy order.
Pri.
Old superstitious dord; beate hence these beggers.
1. Pil.
Many old mens curses will on his soule be pent,
Who thus defaces, Charities monument:
Exeunt.
Sha.
I told you they were curs, that ceae to barke, no
longer then you feede them.
Pri.
Frier thou speak'st right:
Make hast with fare delitious, weele crowne the night.
Exeunt Manet Shackle soule.
Shac.
Ha ha, laugh Lucifer, dance grim fiends of hell,
Of soules thou iudge must, ut most terrible,
I must exact a double pay from thee,
Nere hadst thou Iorney man deserude such ee,
Let me cast vp my reckonings, what I ha won
In this first voage: Charity! shees vndon:
Fat gluttony broke her back: next her step'd in
Contention (who shakes Churches) now the sweete sin
(Sallow lechery,) should march after: Auarice,
Murder, and all sinnes els, hell can deuice,
Ile broach: the head's in, draw the body after,
Begin thy feast in full cuppes, end in slaughter
That damnedst fury: oh, but Frier Clement's free!
Tue: ha'st no snare t' intrp him let me see.
Hees old, choake him with gold; hold on thy Reuells,
Pluto makes Sackle-soul president of Diuels.
Exit.
Enter K. Octauio, Narcisso, Iouinelli, Spendola.
K.
What pictar's that (Vncle Octauio?)
Oct.
The picture of thy state, (drawne by thy selfe,)
This is that booke of statutes, were enacted
In the high Parliament of thy roiall thoughts
Where wisedome was the speaker. And because
Thy subiects shall not be abusde by lawes
Wrap'd vp in racters, crabbed and vnknowne,
These thine owne language speake.
K.
Hang 'em vp vncle.
Oct.
What sayes the King?
Ion.
You must hang vp the lawes.
Oct.
Like cob-wbbe in owle roomes, through which great flies
Breake through, the lesse being caught bith wing, there ies.
No no, thy lawes fix full in thy sight, Hangs a table vp.
(Like sea-markes,) that if this great ship of sway
And kingly ventures, loose her constant way.
Ith bottomles gulph of state, (beaen by the stormes
Of youthfull follie, raging in monstrous formes)
Shee may be sau'de from sinking and from rack,
(Seed by this compasse, for the points of it
Shall guide her so, rocke she cannot split.
Kin.
You are our carefull pilot in this voiage
Of Gouernment, be you our Admirall.
Wisedome and Age being props, realmes seldome fall.
Enter Brisco.
Oct:
Oraculous is thy voice.
Kin.
How now count Brisco?
Me thinkes I read a comedy in thy lookes.
Nar:
Has met some merry painter, hees drawne so liuely.
Omn:
Come count your newes.
Bris:
I shall bestow them freely:
The physicke of your proclamation workes:
Your guilded pills (roll'd vp in promises
Of princely fauours to his wit, who highest
Can raise your pleasures) slip so smoothly downe
Your Subiects throates, that all (vpon a sudden)
Are loosely giuen.
Kin.
How? loosely giuen? why count?
Br.
Name but what sport, your Highnes would haue Acted
I'me prologue too: your court must haue more gates
To let in rufling Saterday: without (now) waites
Musicke in some ten languages: each one sweares
(By Orpheus fiddle-case) they will tickle your ares
If they can doo't with scraping.
Bri:
Theres seuen score Noise at least of english fidlers.
Io:
7. score! they are able to eate vp a citie in very scraps
Bri:
Very base-viall men most of 'em: besides whole
swarmes of welsh harpes, Irish bag-pipes, Iewes trompes,
And french kitts. All these made I together play:
But their dambd catter-wralling, frighted me away.
Oct.
These sports to please
A Princes eyes?
Bri:
How like you then of these?
The cittie-waterbearers (trimly dight)
With yellow oaker-tankerds (pind vpright)
Like brooches in their hatts; In their fresh loues
A may-game bring, All, wearing dog-skin gloues.
Made not to shrinke it'h wetng.
Kin.
Bid these poore men drinke well, and so be gon.
Bri.
What will you haue then?
Will you see the Turners shew, brauely preparde
With colours, drumes, and gunnes (with rust halfe mar'de
Bearing that, of which they long haue bin depriu'de.
Kin.
What ist?
Bri.
Their daring Giant, (newly reui'de)
Omn.
For Ioues sake lets see that.
Oct.
O fie (Prince) fie!
In thy court painted monsters, they come not here,
Ride forth, thou shalt meete Giants euery where.
Me thinkes (yong Lords) your soules being new refinde
With beames of honor, should not be declin'de
To sports so low and vulgar: but since the King
Of birdes (the Eagle) letts you spred a wing
So neere his owne, you should put vp such game
As fits an Eagle, and pursue the same.
And not like rauens, kites, or painted Iayes
So'are high, yet light on dunghills, for stinking preyes.
Iou.
Old Lord you raue.
Nar.
What sports wood you deuise?
Oct.
Most fit for Kings. Were I (before his eyes)
To present obiects, they should all be rare,
Of Romane triumps, laden with the spoiles of warre:
Or Lions, and wilde-Beares kill'd by actiue force:
Or sea-fights: or land battailes on foote, or horse:
Such sights as these, kindle in Kings braue fire,
And meeting spirits that dare mount, mount'em higher,
Where pish pastimes lay our soules downe flat,
Groueling on earth, base and effemminate.
Bri.
I haue bowles of this bias too, for your Lordships alley.
King.
Trundle'em out before him.
Bri.
The wodden-leg Souldier,
Waites to present you with his show of warre.
Oct.
I mary my liege.
Bri:
The Scholler has his deuice, the Mariner his.
Oct.
These are Kings sports indeed.
Bri.
Will you see these?
Kin.
Faith be it so; because weele now rather please
Our vncle than our selfe, pray fetch in these.
The rest cashere.
Spen.
Send the fidlers merily home.
Bri.
And yet pa'em scuruily! tis impossible.
Iou:
And bid the water-bearers clense the citie
Ther's many a foule thing in it.
Oct:
Marshall 'em in.
Bri:
Ile fetch these worthy spirits in my selfe.
No, no, weele ayde you sir.
Iou:
March: and giue vs roome.
Exeunt.
Ki:
Sdeath! if these doting gray-beards might haue their wills,
We neuer shall haue ours: let vs crosse em
As they crosse vs.
Omn:
How, how!
Kin:
Euery deuice
Their Ningles bring in, abuse with scuruie iest,
Beet nee're so good.
Omn.
Agreed.
Nar:
If Ninies bring away the Nest.
Ki:
Teach Iounell and Brisco when to giue fire.
Dromes and trompes sounding,
Enter Octauio, Iouinelli, Brisco, Rufman, the
Souldier, Scholler, Maer.
Sol.
I am a Souldier.
Iou:
We know that by your legges.
Sol.
Does my stump grieue you?
Bri.
Not if you be our slupanimbly sir.
Nar:
What hot shot's this?
Sol.
A Souldier sir: thats all:
Thats more than sir I thinke you dare be Zounds! baffuld
For my limbes lost in seruice! your father
Has clapd this buff-ierkin, when this Stump of wood
Has vp to' knee stucke three howres in french blood:
When such as you, with your Spangled roses, that day
Brauely bestird their , and ran away:
Ile stand oot, I.
Spen.
With one leg.
Sol:
Yes: with one.
Oct:
Yong Lords, thus to scorne Souldiers, tis ill don.
Kin.
Vncle, heres no man scornes'em; must we be brau'de
By a staring fellow, for a little fighting? goe.
Sol:
Fighting! I cannot halt I, but speake plaine,
No King on earth baffalls me, ide baffall againe,
Th' whole race of great turkes, had iem ith field: I ha brought
With me a hundred Souldiers, (old Seruitors)
Poore as my selfe in clothes; picke out fiue hundred
Of such silke-stocken men, if they beate vs, hang vs,
S'bloud if we tosse not them, hang's agen: a fort
We ha built without, and mand it, this was the sport
A Souldier wood ha giuen thee: my ne hundred
Had taught thee all the rules i'th Schoole of warre.
Kin.
All this ile read without may me, wound or scarre.
Sold.
What say you to an Engine, that at once
Shall spoile some thirtie men?
Iou:
Thirtie men! nothing.
Sold.
If nothing! hast thou bin beate for this? farewell.
Iou.
I can fetch twenty rueners haue don more
With a bare goose-quill.
Sold.
Maist thou but liue, to need a Souldiers arme,
That laught to see him bleed.
Exit.
Bri.
You haue lost the day sir, for your Souldiers fly.
Kin.
Fly to the diuell let'em.
Iou.
Your leaders before.
Spen.
You fight all vnder one cullors? doe you not?
Scho.
Sir: these pleasures to the King hich I prefer,
Flow from Ioues braine.
N:
Heyda! heres one has beaten out Ioues braines.
Seap.
Wud I had thee hung vp at our maine kt.
Sch:
No Sir Ioues braine, (Mineua queene of wit)
If all the Muses and the Arts can fit
With their high Tunes, such choice and Princely eares,
Apollo (Father to them all)—ppeares—
Iou:
Apollo was an Asse; he let a wench whom he lou'de to
be turnd into a Bay-tree, and now shees glad for a peny to stick
Ale-house-windowes, and wynde dead coarses.
Bri.
Let Apollo goe and lye with his owne Daughters.
K.
Are you a Scholler Syr?
Iou.
A school-master as I take it; and comes to present a ve∣rie prettie sow of his schollers in broken La.
Oct:
Can wee be dumb and see this?
Sch:
O haples Learning!
Flie and complaine, to Heauen (where thou wert borne)
That thou (whome Kings once nursde,) art now their
scorne.
Exi.
Nar:
How blowes the winde Syr?
Seaf:
Wynde! is Nore-Nore-West.
Nar:
To hoyse your sayles vp too, I thinke tis best.
Sea:
A blacke Gust is comming: vp a low-there hey: A
young-man vp toth Top-mast-head, and looke-out: stand to
your Sayles: stand to your Top-sailes: let oe your Harriars,
let goe, amaine louere amaine, quicke, quick, Goofllowes.
Omn:
Hees mad.
Sea:
Whoes at Helme? beare vp hard: and hard vp: and
thou beest a man beare vp; Star-borde, Port-agein: off with
your Drablers, and your Banners; our with you Courses:
Ho,—I spie two Shippes yonder, that yaw too and a∣gen,
they haue both sprung a Leake, I thinke the Diuell is
sucking Tabaccho, heeres such a Mist: out with your boate,
and you Besmen, cut-downe Maste-bith-borde; beare vp,
Ime a Bunt-fell you see, All I say is this,
You that scorne , shall a Sea-man misse.
Exit.
Oct.
Now by my life I haue patient stood too long.
To see rich merit and loue, payde with base wrong:
Learning! and Armes! and Traffique! the triple wall
That fortifies a Kingdome, race em downe All!
This Seaman, (hee that dearest earnes his bread)
Had rigd and mann'd 4 Gallies brauely furnisht,
With Souldiers, Rowers, and Fire-workes for a Sea-fight.
K.
You are full of Squibs too, pray goe fire em all.
Oct:
Must I bee then cashierde too? mary and shall.
To saue thy sinking Honour, Ile send hence
These men with thankes, with praise, and recompence.
Exit.
Omn:
Pray doe.
K:
Braue Shalcan-Bohor, all this while
Our eye has followed yours, and seene it smile,
(As twere in scorne) of what these men could doe,
Which made vs slight them off; to ingrosse you
(Our best and richest prize:) ith Courts of Kings
Through which you ha passd, you ha seenewonders, shew em.
Ruff:
I shall at opportune howers. If your Grace
Arride the toyes, they bragd of (Fire-workes,
And such light-stuffes) Sit fearelesse without danger
Of murdring shot, which villaines might discharge
In (idle counterfet Sea-fights) you shall see
At opening of this hand, a thousand Balles
Of wilde-Fire, flying round about the Aire—there.
Fire-workes on Lines.
Omn:
Rare, Rare.
K.
Tis excellent Seath from whence flew they?
Bri.
Hell, I thinke.
Ion.
Hell! Nay, if any that are in Hell, skip vp euer so nye
Heauen, as these Diuells that spit fire did, Ile drinke nothing
but Gun-pouder.
Ruff.
Ha, ha, a trifle this. Your Scholler there,
Come with his Arts and Muses shallow, leaden braine,
Your swaggering Souldier, lead a tottered traine
Of ruffianly Boore-hallers: I noted all
These feasts for Kings: ith garden of varietie
The vast world! you are staru'de midst your satietie,
Plucke no one Apple from the golden Tree,
But shake the fruite of euery pleasure downe.
K.
Thanks Bohor; why else weares a King his Crowne?
K.
Shalcan, all Naples shall not buy thee from mee.
Ruff.
Nor you and these from me.
K.
Aske what thou wilt haue
But to stay here.
Ruff.
Loe, this is all I craue.
K.
Thou hast our fast embraces.
Ruff.
Swift as mans thought,
Various delights shall bee each minute borne,
And dye as fast that fresh may rise; wee scorne
To serue vp one dish twice; bee't nere so rare,
Will you that gainst to morrow I prepare
A Feast of strange Mirth for you?
K.
Deare Bohor doe.
Ruff:
I shall; Nor doe I thus your loue pursue,
With seruile hopes of Golde, I neede it not:
If out the jawes of Hell Golde may bee got
Blacke Artes are mine to doo't; and what delights
Those worke bee yours.
K.
Thou art gratious in our sight.
Exeunt.
¶A Table is set out by young fellwes like Mrchants men,
Bookes of Accounts vpon it, small Deskes to wrie vpon,
they sit downe to write Tickets, Lurchall with them.
1 Come fellow Lurchall write.
Lur.
Fuh, Stay not for mee,
I shall out-goe you all.
2 I hold 5. Crownes,
Wee all leaue you behinde vs.
Lur.
Don; but I
Must not leaue you behinde mee; what paines a poore Diuell
takes to get into a Merchant? hees so ciuill,
One of Hell must not know him, with more ease
A Diuell may win ten Gallants, then one of these,
Yet a Merchants wife, before these ten is wonne
To entertaine her Diuell, if Pride be one.
But Lurchall, now thart in, and for yeares bound,
To play the Merchant, play him right: th'ast ound
A Master, who more villenie has by hart,
Then thou by rote; See him but play his owne part,
And thou doest Hell good seruice; Barteruile,
Theres in thy name a Haruest makes mee smile.
Bart.
Lurchall:—within
Omn:
My master calls.
Lur.
I.
Enter Barteruile.
Men too and fro bring in Bags, & haue Bills.
Exit.
Bart:
Oh, art there?
This day twixt one and two a Gallants bound
To pay 400. Crownes to free his Landes
Fast morgag'de to mee, Lurchall, got thee vp hye
Into my Turret, where thou mayest espie
All commers euery way; if by thy guesse,
Thou seest the Gull make hither.
Lur.
So Syr.
Barr.
That, his Hower
Lye gasping, at the last Minutes; let him beate at dore,
Within Ile beate his heart out.
Lur:
Ile let him stand.
Bart:
Do, take my Watch, go faster. All his Land
Is sumd with these two Figures, (2. and 1.)
At past one, (his,) strike but two, tis mine owne.
Lur:
Ile turne the wheeles: and spin the howers vp faster
Bart:
The Citie-clockes then strike, and kill thy Master.
Would all the Citie-Sextons, at my cost
Were dunke this day 4. howres.
Lur:
Troth so wud I,
And wee their Iackesath Clocke-house.
Bar:
Wee'de strike merily.
Fly vp to'th topath house,
Lur.
There sir, Ile sit,
And coake like a Ruen, to damb thee in hels pit.
Exit.
Barteruile set amongst his men reading a long seroll.
Bar.
How goes this moneth?
Omn.
Much shorter than the last.
Bar.
Weddings this moneth 12. thousand: not worth the scoring,
But thinke ther's little marying, we ha so much whoring.
Grynding milles so much-vsde; about the citie
Such grinding, yet no more mony; suites in law,
Full brought to an end this moneth, no more but ten:
This law will begger vs: had I the bags againe,
I bought this combrous office with, the King
Should make his best of't: hee that did farm't before
Had it for lesse than I, yet receiude more.
Hw much remaines of the salt tribute due?
1. Ser.
7000. Crownes.
Bar.
Thats well: a sauorie summe:
These our Italian tributes, were well deuisde,
Me thinkes tis fit a subiect should not eate
But that his Prince from euery dish of meate
Should receiue nourishment: for (being the head)
Why should he pine, when all the body is fed?
Besides, it make vs more to awe a King,
When at each bit we are forc'd to thinke on him.
Enter a Brano with mony.
1. Ser.
What payment's this?
Bra.
The pension of the Stewes, you neede not vntye it, I
brought it but now from the sealers office: ther's not a
peece there, but has a hole in't, because men may knowe
where twas had, and where it will be taken againe: blesse your
worship? Stew-mony sir, Stew-Prunc cash sir.
Bar.
They are sure, tho not the soundest pay maiers,
Read whats the summe.
1. Ser.
Bu bare 20. crownes.
Bra.
They are bare crownes indeede sir, and they came
from Animals and vermin that are more bare: wee that are
clarkes of these flesh-markets haue a great deale of rotten
mutton lying vpon our hands, and finde this to bee a sore
payment.
Br.
Well, well, the world will mend.
Bra.
So our surgeons tell'em euery day; but the pox of mendment I see.
Bar.
Doe not your gallants come off roundly then?
Bra.
Yes sir, their haire comes off fast enough, we turne a∣way
crack't french crownes euery day. I haue suite to your
worship in behalfe of all our dealers in small wares, our free∣whores
sir, you know my meaning.
Bar.
If your whores are knowne, whats thy suite?
Bra.
I should haue brought a petition from 'em, but that
tis put off sir, till clensing-weeke, that they may all be able to
set to their hands, or else a whores marke.
Bar.
Well, well, whats their request?
Bra.
Mary sir, that all the shee-tobacco-shops, that creepe
vp daily in euery hole about the Citie, may bee put to sci∣lence.
Bar.
Why pray thee honest fellow?
Bra.
I thanke your good worshp, I had not such a sweete
bit giuen me this 7 yeeres, honest fellow: marry sir Ile open
to you your suppliants cases: they that had wont to spend a
crowne about a smocke, haue now their delight dog-cheape,
but for spending one quarter of that mony in smoake: besides
sir, they are not contented to robbe vs of our customes on∣ly,
but when their pipes are fowle with spitting and driueling
in those foresaide shops, they haue no place to burne 'em in,
but our houses.
Bar.
Draw their petition, and weele see all cur'de.
Bra.
Let a frost come first sir: I thanke your venerable
worshp; the pox gnaw out so many small guts as haue payde
thee crownes.
Exit.
Enter Lurchall running.
Lur.
The tyd's against you sir, the crownes are come.
Bar.
How goes my watch?
Lur.
As most watches vse to goe sir, sleepily, heauily.
Bar:
Not reach'd to one yet; wert thou to be hangd,
The hower had gallop'd.
Lur.
I spurd it all that I could.
Bar.
S'death keek his howre, heauē helpe poore Citizens,
If Gentlemen grow thus warie: let him in.
Extit Lurchall.
Barren now, that hast in craft so fruitfull bin.
Your businesse sir to me.
Enter with 2. Gentlemen.
1. Gent.
Doe you not know me sir?
Bar.
No in good truth sir.
1. Gent:
To know you I am bold sir,
You haue lāds of mine in morgage, this is my day,
And heres your crownes.
Bar.
Signior Innocentio;
My memorie had quite lost you, pray sit both,
A bowle of wine here.
1. Gent.
Sir it shall not neede:
Please you to fetch my euidence, whil'st we tell.
Bar.
What needes this forward spring? faith two moneths hence
Had bin to me as welcome.
1. Gent.
Sir I thanke you.
2. Gent.
Your hower drawes on Signior Innocentio,
Bar.
Goe beate a drumme ith garret, that no tongues
Of clockes be heard but mine.
Lur.
Little past one.
Bar.
Winde, winde.
Lur.
Thus wind'st thou to domnation.
2. Gent.
Ile part with none sir, pardon me, till I see
Your writings: will you fetch the euidence sir.
Bar.
What euidence sir, haue I of yours?
1. Gent.
My friend sir, whose mony hee lends me to re∣deeme
my morgage.
Bar.
Which you would haue for your securitie.
2. Gent.
Tis so sir?
Bar.
No sir Innocentio,
To morrow on your bare word will I lend you 30. crownes
more: I loue you sir, and wish you beware whose hands you
fall into: the worlds a serpent.
2. Gent.
This does but spend the hower sir, will you take your mony?
Bar.
With all my heart.
1. Gent.
Let him see my writings then.
Bar.
Haue you such couenant from mee? I remember none.
1. Gent.
Your conscience is sufficient couenant sir.
Bar.
Ha! whats that conscience? I know no law-termes I,
Talke to me as to Citizen.
2. Gent.
Weele dally no longer;
We knew what snake would sting vs, and therefore brought
Our medcine gainst his venome: youle keepe the writings,
And weele ith Court of conscience tender your crownes,
Whither this writ does summon you.
Lur.
A fox, and ore-taken?
Bar.
Serue writs vpon me, yet keepe my mony too?
Dull slaue hast thou no braine?
Lur.
Braine! trye this.
Bar.
Peace.
2. Gent.
Will you as fits a Christian giue vs in
What is our right, and take your crownes sir yet?
Bar.
Tis good to try mens patience, fetch me downe
Exit Lur.
Those writing on my pillow, there they ha slept
These two howers for you: must not friends iest? ha!
Both.
Yes sir: let your men tell, iust 400. crownes.
Bar.
Besides the vse.
1. Gent.
The vse is there too.
Bar.
Hold: Ile take it without telling, put it vp.
Both.
Not till we see the writings.
Enter Lurchall.
Bar.
Dare you touch it?
Both.
Dare! ye sir, and dare stab him to the heart,
Offers to take it from vs:
Bar.
Who stabs first? Flings mony amongst it.
Now touch it if you dare: ther's gold of mine,
And if they lay one finger on't, cry theeues,
They come to rob me, touch it if you dare.
1. Gen.
Dambde wretch, thou wilt goe quicke to hell I feare.
Ar.
No sir, the diuell shall fetch me when I goe.
Lur.
That all my errand.
2. Gent.
We are cheated both.
Bar.
Proceede, in your chancery suite, I haue begun your bill.
Humbly complayning.
1. Gent.
Of thee villaine He complaine
That sels thy soule for mony, diuels on earth dwell,
And men are no where, all this world is hell.
Exeunt.
Bar.
I kisse thy forhead, my wittie Oedipus
That canst vnfold such riddels: one ringes.
Exit. 1. Seruant.
Lur.
Sir, I am bound
To doe you all seruice, till I you all confound.
1. Ser.
Maister Siluerpen the procter sir, sends word, if you
come not in to morrow and personally depose your paymēt
of the 200. crownes, youle be non-suited.
Bar.
That is a law-draught goes downe coldly.
Lur.
Why sir? Tis but your swearing the mony is payde.
Bar.
If oathes had back-dores to come in at, without dan∣ger
of damnation, to catch a mans soule bith back, swearing were braue.
1. Ser.
What answere shall I giue the Proctors man?
Lur.
Tell him my maister shall come in and sweare.
Exit. and Enters.
Bar.
Doe, tell him: on thee Ile build: now all my feare,
Is for apparance at the Chancellors Court,
No trick to saue that?
Lur.
I haue a braue one fort.
Exit. 1. for wine: bring't in.
Bring in a pottle of wine: will Carlo here my fellow,
Depose a truth if he see it, to helpe his maister?
Bar.
What thou not honest Carlo?
2. Ser.
Yes sir.
1. Ser.
Here's the wine.
Enter with wine.
Lur.
Set this to your head anon sir, when tis there
Away you, and to morrow thou mai'st sweare
Before the Chancelor, and sweare true, if hee
Were in that case thou leftst him, twere in vaine
To hope he could liue, till thou camst back againe.
All Knights a'th Post learne this trick: the fits vpon me now.
Lur.
Take a good draught, twill helpe you sir: It gulpes,
hees almost breathles Carolo; away.
Car.
I am gon.
Exit.
Lur.
Hees gon, hees gon sir.
Bar.
One gulpe more had choaked me;
This wine had washed my feares off, tha'st giuen mee power
To make me doate vpon thee. Carolos gon.
Lur.
Yes and will sweare his heart out, to your good.
Sweare let him; bee thy selfe and hee dambde too.
Bar.
So I may get by it. In my bosome sleepe
(My doue, my lue,) prosper but thou and I,
Lur.
And let all els sinck.
Br.
Let'em: so I kisse gold,
The yongmans whore, the saint of him that sold.
Exeunt.
Enter Prior, Alphege Hillary, and Friers with pruning kniues,
spades, &c. met by Subprior, and Shackle-soule.
Sub.
Whither (mad-men) run you?
Omn.
To Vines.
Sub.
Your Vines?
(The tree of and shame?) this Serpent here,
H with that lqorish poison, so set on fire
The braines of Nicodeme and Siluester,
That they in drunken rage haue stabd each other.
Pri.
Stabd!
Shac:
Yes, they bleede a little, but haue no harme,
Their yong blood with the grapes Iuice being made (warme,
They brawld and struck, but I kept off the blowes,
Yet the Subprior saies from me their quarrell rose.
Sub.
It did.
Shac.
In very deede (for I not sweare)
It did no sir: to me you malice beare,
As if that all such mischife don, were mine,
But cause your selfe shall see how I repine
To see vice prosper, pardon me good Lord Prior▪
If I a tell-tale be of what mine eyes
Beheld with water in them: sin will rise
In holy sircles I see sometimes.
Pri:
What sin?
Sub:
What hast tho seene?
Shac:
Wud present I had not beene,
But till I vtter it, my clogd conscience beares▪
A man vpon a woman.
Omn:
Ha▪
Shac:
I speak't in teares:
Scumbr our cooke, and a female I beheld
Kissing in our orchard: on her lippes he dwelld
I thike some halfe howre.
Sub:
Shame to our reuerend order!
A woman in our couent! Sin black as murder.
Pri:
Our cooke shalbe seuerely punished: a woman,
A tempter here.
Omn:
Abhominable!
Rush, thoul't rebuke sin.
Shac:
Tho my Lord I'me bad, I'me not giuen that way.
Pri:
Let vs some plagues inuent to lay on this echerous knaue▪
Shac:
Some light punishment
(Good my Lord Prior) suppose twere your owne fault,
Whip as you woud be whipd, the best's naught.
Sub:
He shalbe punisht, and then loose his place.
Pri.
That sir shall be as we will: to our Vines: away.
Sub.
For shame giue or'e, dare you prophane this day
That is to holy vses consecrate?
Pri.
Why? what day is this?
Omn.
Lambert the marter.
Pri.
No matter,
To vex thee deeper, this whole day weele spend,
Onely about our Vines.
Sub.
You vex not me,
But heauen: what warrants you to this?
Pri.
Our will.
Sub.
Thou hast thy will, thy wish thou ne're shalt haue,
In ight of heauen who sees and punishes
Mens blacke impieties; And in sight of these
(Sharers in thy full sin:) And in his sight,
T' expresse whose vilenes, there's no epithite.
Pri.
No matter what he saies Rush.
Shac.
I'me knowne what I am.
Sub:
To thee I prophecie, (vitious old man to thee,
Who r'st with lift-vp-hands, and downe-bowed knee,
Seemest to'haue had worke in heauen: now (full of spite,
Onely to eate a liquorish appetite;
Dgst our religious wales vp, planting there
Luxurious fruits to pamper belly-cheere▪
(For all thy paines to dresse it,) of this Vine
Thy lustfull lips shall neuer tast the wine.
Pri.
Distracted foole, in stead of my iust anger,
Thou onely hast my pittie: thou prophecie?
Omn.
Ha, ha.
Sub.
Laugh on, but since nor prayers preuaile not teares,
Ile powre my griefe into my Princes cares.
Exit.
Shac.
Heele goe and complaine to the King.
Pri.
Let him complaine,
Kings cannot Subiects of their foode restraine,
Away.
Exeunt: Manet Shackle-soule.
Shac.
Ingender sin with sin; that wines rich he
May bring forth Lust, Lust murder may beget,
But here strike aile, this barke awhile hale in,
And lanch into the deepe, a brighter sin:
Ho, Glitterbacke, ascend, to shackle-soule,
To shackle-soule ascend, ho Glitterbacke;
Thou richest spirit, thrust vp thy golden head
From hell thus hie: when? art imprisoned
In misers chests so fast thou canst not come?
O fearst thou theeues, or cupurses? here be some
Can saue thee from their fingers: when? Arise;
And dazle th' approching night with hy glistring eyes.
Glitt:
Here.
A golden Head ascends.
Shac:
How thou sweatst with comming? Saue me those drops
(Golds pure Elipar) stilling from thy lockes:
Shake from thy browes and hayre that golden showre,
So: get home: quicke: (to hell) least hell grow poore,
If Richmens pawes once fasten thee, and beware
It'n way thou meetst no Lawyers: thele pull thee bare,
Hence: downe.
Glitt.
I me gon.
Descendit.
Shac.
Coole night will call Frier Clement forth anon:
Angels, be you his strong temptation:
Wines lustfull fires him warme not: At this spring,
(Scorne by the rest for him,) sprd thy gilt wing,
Full in his eye; As he drinks water downe
In streames of Auarice, let his weake soule drowne.
Exit.
Enter the King, Narcisco, Brisco, Spendola, ,
Rufman, followed by Astolfo.
Ast.
I doe beseech your Highnes, yet turne backe
And comfort the sad Lady, whose faire eyes
Are worne away with weeping.
Iou.
If her eyes be worne away, what should a man doe
With a blind wife? kill her with flyes?
Kin:
I cannot abide a woman thats fond of me.
Spen.
Nor I.
Nar.
I would loue a woman but as I loue a walnut, to cracke
It, and peele it, eate the meate, and then throw away the
Shell.
Iou.
Or as noble-men vse their great horses, when they
Are past seruice: ell'em to brewers and make'em drey-horses:
So vse a woman.
Ast.
So so.
Ruf.
The Indians are warme without clothes, and a man
Is best at ease without a woman: or if your Highnes must
haue one, haue factors to buy the fairest, do ate no any,
the turke, regard none, yet keepe many.
You heare the Iuries verdit.
hose foreman's the diuell?
counsell thee to thy destruction.
Kn.
Destruction? why? the heauen can abide but one sun,
I hpe we on earth may loue many mens daughters
Tl Erminhilda so: send her home to the duke her father:
And tell him too, because the disease of mariage
Brings the stone with it, I hate a woman; I loue not
To be cut: inclosde grounds are too rancke.
Ruf.
Best feeding on the Commons then.
Will you not mary this cha Lady then?
Kin.
No sir, and will you now my reason haue?
A womans is an insatiate graue.
Wherein hee's dambd that lyes buried.
O.
On, on, away.
Ruf.
Braue battailes I fight you, but ile win the day▪
Exeunt.
Manet, Astolpho, Enter Octauio and Ermynhilda.
Erm.
I heard the storie, tell't not or'e againe,
Twere crueltie to wound men, being halfe slaine.
Oct.
Tis crueltie too much, and too much shame
That one of your high birth, youth, beautie, name,
And vertues shining bright, should hence be sent
(Like some offender into banishment)
Abusde by a King, and his luxurious traine,
Of parasites, knaues, & fooles, (a kingdomes bane,)
For them, by him not carde for; you came not so,
But as his bride, his Queene, and bedfellow.
Erm.
And yet am neither, frō my fathers court
Came I (being sude by Princes too) for this?
To see him, his subiects scorne, and my selfe his?
Once thought I that his loue had bin (as fate)
Vnmoueable; and st now turn'd to hate?
Yes, yes, hees wauering as the running streame,
And far more ydle than a mad-mans dreame.
Ast.
Sēd to the duke your father, let him inforce
Your plighted mariage.
Erm.
Worse than a diuore
No: to his eyes since hatefull I am growne,
Ile leaue his Court and him, and dye vnknowne.
Ex▪
Ast.
All runnes I see to ruine.
Oct.
If he persue,
These godles courses, best we leaue him too,
That land to it selfe must a quick downefull bring,
Whose King has lost all, but the name of King.
Exeunt.
Enter Subprior with an earthen pt, d a lanhorne;
Scumbroath with him with a peice.
Sub.
Get thee to bed thou foolish man and sleepe.
Scu.
How? Sleepe? no sir no, I am turnd a tyrant and cannot sleepe:
I stand centinell perdu, and somebody dyes if I sleepe,
I am possest with the diull and cannot slepe.
Sub.
What duell possesses thee?
Scu.
The encers diuell▪ a fighting diuell; Rush has com∣mitted
a murder vpon my body, and his carcas shall answere
it; the cock of my reuenge is vp.
Sub.
Murder! what murder?
Scu.
He has taken away my good name, which is flat man∣slughter,
and halfe hangd me, which is as much as murder,
he told the Lord Prior and you that I was kissing a wench: Its
a lye, I giue him the lye, and he shall fight with me at single
pistall against my caliuer, do I looke like a whormemonger?
when haue you seene a wencher thus iary as I am: Rush
thou diest for this treason against my members concupis∣centiallitie.
Sub.
Thou wut not kill him, wut thou?
Scu.
No, but Ile make him know what tis to boile a cooke
in's owne grease.
I am scalding hot; I am chargd with urie, I carie a heart-burning
within me. I kisse a whore? I shall haue boyes cry out
to me, now who kis Mary? No Rush, Scumbroth shall giue thee
suger pellets to eate, I will not be danc'de vpon.
Sub.
Let me perswade thy peace of minde to night,
Get thee to rest, if Rush haue thee belide,
Reioyce, by wrongs to haue thy patiencee tride.
He shall forgiuenes aske thee.
Scu.
Let me but haue one blow ats head with my cleauer
Ith kitchin, and I freely forgiue him, or let me bownce at
him.
Sub.
Tese bloudie thoughts will dam thee into hell.
Scu.
Doe you thinke so what becomes of our roaring
boyes then that healths one to another, doe you thinke
they will be damb vp too?
Sub.
I thinke so, for I know it, deere sonne to prayer,
Two sinnes beset thee, murder, and despaite,
I charge thee meete me at my cell anon,
To saue thee will I spend my oson.
In name of heauen I charge thee to be gon.
Suc.
Well si▪ the cold water of your counsell has laid the
neate of my urie: he had met with his match, but I wil shoote
off my anger, I will be gon, and why? Looke you, because the
moone is vp and makes hornes at one of vs; As the noble∣mans
coach is drawne by foure horses, the knights by two,
& the cuckold by three, euen so am I drawne away with none
at all. Vale, Bonos Noches: I am possest still: It buzzes, here.
Vale.
Exit.
Sub.
Blest star of light, stucke there to illuminate
This world darkned or'e with sin: thou watchest late,
To guide mans comming home, shewing thereby
Heauens care of vs, seeing how we tread awry
We haue two great lights for midnight and for noon,
Because blacke deeds at no time should be don.
All haile to thee (now my best guide) be giuen,
What needs I earths candle, hauing the lamp of heauen?
Now Benedicite? where am I?
Enter rush.
Rush.
O whether am I going? which way came I?
Ah wellada, I come to fill my pot,
With water not with thee; thou art mis begot.
Else wouldst thou not lye there; what Orphans blood
Hst thou suckt out, to make this golden flood?
None drinke this well but I, how is it than
Thou thus way-lay'st me, (theefe to the soule of man?
Would some poore wretch (by lsse of law vndone)
Had thee: goe doe him good: me canst thou none.
My wholesome cup is poysond, it flowes or'e
With mans damnation (gold,) drinke there no more
Shac.
Not tast what all men thirst for? old and so braue,
When mony assaults, one combat more Ile haue.
Enter Scumbroth.
Scu.
So, ho, ho, father, Subprior.
Sub.
Whoes there? what art thou callst me?
Scu.
One that feeds the hungry, the cooke sir, Scumbroth.
Sub.
Come hither, I haue for thee a golden prize.
Shac.
Ha ha: heele take it.
Villaines and fooles will ha gold, (tho got from hell,)
But they who doe so, (as thou shalt) pay for't well.
Exit.
Scu.
But stay, father Subprior, before we goe one step
farder, what doe you thinke I haue done since I went from
you?
Sub.
No hurt I hope, say hast thou?
Scu.
Hurt? If I did hurt in that, how much hame doe Al∣make
makers, who lye coldly quiuering at it all the yeare
long? I did doe nothing but stand staring at the man in the
moone.
Sub.
And what good thoughts bred that within thee?
Scu.
This: I thought to my selfe, what a happy fellow that
man in the moone was, to see so many fooles and knaues here
below, and yet neuer to be troubled with 'em, nor meddle
with 'em.
Sub.
Hees hppy that meddles not with this world indeed.
Scu.
If that man in the moone should write a prognosti∣cation,
oh he should not neede to tell astronomicall lyes to
fill his booke, nor talke in gibrish no man vnderstands, of
Quartiles, Aspects, Stations, Retrogradations, Peragrations; Cen∣tricall,
Eccentricall, Cosmicall, Acronicall, and such Palquoicall,
Solar, Lunar, Lnaticall vaulting ouer the railes of heauen,
that no Christian dare looke vpon their tricks, for feare his
wit breake his necke.
Sub.
Thou putst into a Sea, thou canst not sound,
Ignorance still is foe to Arts profound.
Coe hither man, come hither.
Scu.
Arts profound, Arts make men as very asses as wo∣men
doe, I haue no Art, and yet I knowe this Moone that
shines to night, sees more than you or I doe, for all your spec∣tacles.
Sub.
True, tis the eye of heauen.
Scu.
Which of the eyes? tis but the left eye: and the Sun
is the right: and yet the left sometimes sees more than the
right, and the right as much as the left, ther's paxonisme for
you father globicall paxonisme.
Sub.
I vnderstand thee not.
Scu.
No, why heres the oyster opend, I say the Sun sees
much knauery in a yere, & the Moone more in a quarter▪ the
Moone sees men caryed by a quarelling watch to prison, and
the Sun sees the constable and the booke-keepr share fees
the next morning.
Sub.
Thats not well.
Scu.
Yes, but they sweare tis well: the Moone sees ba∣stards
come bwling into the world, & the Sun sees'em shif∣ted
and shuftled in dossers, away to nurse, & thats the cause we
haue so many dosser-heads: the Moone sees old curmudge∣ons
come reeling from Tauerns with spping of halfe pites
of Sack, and the Sun sees the same churles the next day, so∣berly
cutting any mans throate for a pennie.
Sub.
Enough of this: come hither: looke what here lyes.
Scu.
What here lyes: mary, father Subprior, the diuell and
some Vsuters mony haue bin here at their lecherie, and see
what goodly children they haue begot: if you will ile keepe
the bastards at nurse.
Sub.
I am content that halfe this gold he thine,
(If it bee ask'd for neuer, for tis not mine,)
So thou wilt promise tother halfe to giue
To such as I appoint.
Sub.
By this gold I will lay it out brauely, as you appoint me▪
Sub.
Looke not to prosper; if thou dealst amisse;
Good workes are keyes opening the gates of blisse,
That golden key, thou in that heape maist find;
If with it thou relieue the lame, sick, blind▪ & ūgry
Scu.
I will doe it I protest.
Sub.
One halfe bestow'd so, take thy selfe the rest.
So fare thee well.
Exit.
Scu.
Farewell good father, foole: Ile giue the blinde a
dog to lead 'em, the lame shall to the whipping-post, the sick
shall dye in a cage, and the hungry leap at a crust: I seede
ogues, the pox shall: the world is changde: a begger ye∣sterday,
and full of gold to day: an asse to day, and a prow'd
scab to morrow.
Gl:
Stay: stand.—Golden head ascends.
Scu:
Stand: cannot a Gentleman grow rich, but he must
keepe knaues about him?
Gt:
That gold is none of thine.
Scu.
But all the craft in that great head of yours cannot
get it out of my angers. Zounds who the diuel art thou?
Gilt.
A spirit sent vp from hell to make thee rih.
Scu.
Thanke hell for it: hell makes worse foole rich in a yeere.
Gilt.
That gold I laide there for thee.
Scu.
When doe you lay againe, that I may haue more of
these egges?
Git.
Spnd those I charge thee first.
Su.
Yes, Head.
Glit.
And brauely I charge thee.
Scu.
What neede you be at such charges, Ile do't: but
shall the poore be a pennie the better for me, as the old fel∣low
charge me, yea, or no?
Gilt.
No. Within?
Shac.
No.
Scu.
Whose that?
Gilt.
Tis thine owne Genius cryes vnto thee no.
Scu.
My Genius, I am a cooke, my Genius then belike is
a sullion; but when this is spent, can my Genius tell mee
whither I shall haue more.
Shac.
More.
Flt.
More.
1.
More.
within.
2.
More.
In a big voice.
Scu.
Because my Genius keepes company with a great
man, Ile take all their wordes; and his bond.
Glit.
When thou hast spent all that: I charge thee come
To the blacke tree, that stands in Naples groue,
Clymbe boldly to the top, and keepe fast hold,
For there ile rayne on thee a showre of gold,
If what thou seest there, thou to any tell,
Diuels shall teare thee.
Shac.
Away.
Omn.
Away.
Su.
Farewell.
Exit.
Enter Shacklesoule laghing.
Shac.
Ha, ha! downe downe bright spirit, thou wt bee
mist anon, hell mynt stands ydle.
Glit.
Loose not that foole.
Shac.
Be gon.
Glit.
Haue care to meete at next infernall court:
The day drawes nye.—Goes downe.
Shac.
I thanke thee for this spirit.
Exit.
Enter K. Rufman, Narciss, Spendola, Brisco, Iouinelli.
K.
You that complaine gainst Barteruile, (receiuer of all
our tribute-monies) speak your wrongs; nay you haue deafl'd
our cares too much already, hee does confesse your crownes
(payde and receiude) but to giue backe your writings ther's
no clause, If them youle win, fight it out by our lawes.
Bar.
I humbly thanke your highnes. A gratious doome.
1. Gent.
One day to try this plea, to hel thowlt come. Ex. 2.
K.
Toth next, we ha businesse of our owne, toth' next:
O Barteruile! for these 2o. crownes.
Bar.
I payde'em to that man.
Far.
Now afore the King
And his Lords here, thou liest: th'ast payde me none.
K.
Your chollers sirra too hye.
Far.
Tho my collar stand
So hye, it scarce beares vp this falling band.
Thou say'st thowlt sweare th'ast payd it: vd nailes sweare so,
And the fowle eende goe with't: 200. crownes?
I ha lost as much at loggets: sweare but to reuel,
And spend't in hel, gallop thee and that toth' diuel.
Far.
Man wherefore doest not sweare?
K.
Reach me a booke.
Bar.
Let me before I sweare, on my notes look,
Ile tell you the very day; pray hold my staffe,
Till I draw out my false eyes.
Far.
Draw thy heart out an't wut: thou maist wel say thy false eyes.
Bar.
The day: August, 14.
Far.
Thats now, be daod, and so away.
Bar.
On this day (August, 14.) I sweare I payde
Into these hands, 200. crownes in gold.
Far.
Zounds not in siluer: by this booke I had none.
K.
One of you two is periuriously forsworne.
Far.
He, he, as I am true Curstian man.
Iou.
He sweares,
To your owne hands he payde them.
Bar.
Else let that eye,
Which sees me play false, scourge my periury
With fearefull stripes.
Far.
O iutice I falne downe dead▪
Lurcha & Rufman about him,
Wud I had lost all▪ tho I had bin cozened,
Rather than thou thy soule.
.
He bleedes at mouth.
Far.
See his staffe (beating the earth, for heauen loues ruth
Is burst in shiuers, and that gold he swore
W py'd to me, lyes scattred on the ore.
Ruff.
He comes againe, the diuell will not receiue him.
K.
Take him away, weele punish him for this cryme.
Ruff.
Beg his office: you a Courtier?
.
I haue a suite to your highnes.
K.
What count Spendola?
Lur.
Maister, looke vp man,
In this black trance had thy soule flyen away,
I had wrought hard and made a holliday.
Ruff.
Loose not a minute (pue-fellow) leaue him not yet,
I haue whales here too, lye playing in the net.
it.
Far.
Ile take this gold at venture, (sweete yong King,)
For all this hel-hound owes me.
K.
Doe, and be gon.
Far.
I am pay'd: the diuels turn'd puritane I feare,
tes (me thinkes) to heare his own child sweare.
Exit.
K.
The office of this periurd Barteruile,
I giue away, diuiding it
To the Count Spendola, and our worthy friend
Braue Ist his purse bee ore-match'd: these grosse impure
And ranck diseases, long vnto thy cure,
Thy word's in pawn fort, these are the poores cryes,
How wilt thou stop their throates?
K.
With halters.
Omn.
Hang 'em.
Oct.
Hang 'em! any halters here list so set down?
This law-booke speakes not so, yet tis thine own.
K.
Still brauing me with this? burne it.
Oct.
Yes doe.
If you burne all the weeke, burne saterday too:
Doe one good dayes-deed first, read poore mens plaints.
K.
Hels plagues confound 'em: in their heads and thine
Vex me no more.
Oct.
I warrant thee ile saue mine.
Meetes the Sub.
HolySaint pardon me, ( good father, my braine
So wilde is I forgot thee, but ile to him againe,
Tis but an old mans head off. King take it, ile speake whilest
this stands on my shoulders.
K.
But that you are.—
Oct.
An honest man, thou'st haue this, ô I beseeke
thy attention to this Reuerend subPrior,
Who plaines against disorders of this House;
Where once Deuotion dwelt and Charitie,
Ther's Drunkennesse now, Gluttonie, and Lecherie,
Tell thou the Tale.
Sub:
Bad Storie soone is tolde;
Because tis foule, that Leafe does all infolde,
Their sinnes grow hye, and fearefull, and strike at Heauen,
Punish them THOV, whose power from thence is giuen.
K,
Your Friers so lustie!
Iou:
All the Barbers in Nples tell newes of that Priorie.
Bris:
I would your Grace would let me purge this ouse of
her infection; bestowe the Liuings of it on mee, ile seeten
it one Moneth.
Iou:
Heele lay it in▪ Lauender.
K.
The Couent, the Demeasnes, Immunities,
Rents, Customes, Chartres, what to this house of Baall
soeuer is belonging—Brisco tis thine.
Oct:
Wut rob the Church too, (Now th'ast nothing left▪
scarce for thy selfe?)
Sub:
O heauen for-fend such theft!
K.
Bestowe it at thy pleasure.
Oct.
Woe to thoses dayes,
When to raise Vpstarts, the poore CHVRCH decayes.
Sub:
Call backe thy gift (ô King) and ere these eyes
Behold vnhallowed hands to Tyrannize
Where many a good man hys his Osons said,
And many a Rquiem bene sung out for the Dead,
(Till I am thrust ou by Death) ô let ee haue
My dwelling there, there let me dig my Graue,
With mine owne Nayles, (shut vp from worldly Light,
Betweene two walls,) and dye an Anchoryte.
K:
I referre you to your Patron there.
Rris:
Thats I:
Shew mee first where your Abbey-gold sleeps, then goe dye.
Sub:
I feare RELIGIONS Fall: Alacke I see
This world's a Cittie built by the most Hie,
But kept by man, (GODS) greatest enemie.
Exit.
Oct:
Let ill-Newes flye together, thou art full of teares,
But I more full of woes, of cares, of feares.
Exit.
Enter Astolphe.
K.
S'death shall wee haue yet faire weather?
Iou.
Heeres one storme more.
Ast:
Calbrias Dke demaunds of you a Daughter▪
K.
Let me but lye with's wife, Ile giue him a Sonne.
Ast.
Hee sends for Erminghld.
K.
Deliuer her.
Ast.
S s not to be found.
K.
Ya're an olde Foole,
To aske for that which is not.
Ast.
Thus hee sayes,
Denie her and looke for warres.
K.
So goe your wayes.
Ast.
I'me quickly gone.
Exit.
Enter Ruffman and Barteruile.
K.
With Sacke ile sweare you ,
This was short and sweete,—Seem then we shal ha warres,
Bohor, the Drumme must▪ scolde, the anon thunder:
Fighting about a wench.
Om:
Tush, thats no wonder,
K.
Who bayld him out of
Out of mine eye.
Ruff:
I neur begd before,
Pdon his (I intreate) and backe restore
Both your hye fauour to him, and his place.
Bar.
Let me want life, rather then want your Grace.
Spen.
Doe you thinke Ile loose the Kings gift?
Bar:
Ile send you Golde.
Spen:
That stops my mouth, pray let him still Sir hold,
This Office of Receiuer, I resigne
That part which I haue in it.
Ruff.
And I all mine.
K.
Sirr, thanke these Lords.
K.
I shall their loues deserue.
K.
Barteruile, wee haue warres, Ile haue thee lend mee
some▪ 30000. Chicquines at least.
Bar.
Take all my Golde.
K.
We, get you home with your bags sir, weele make bold.
Bart:
Your Maiestie shall haue what bags you will,
Bags onely, but Ile keepe my money still.
Exit.
Enter Octauio and Astolphe.
K.
Now Shalcan, some newe Spirit.
Ruff.
A thousand wenches
Stark-nak'd, to play at Leap-frog▪
Omn:
Oh rare sight!
Iou:
Your vncle.
K.
Sdeath, still haunted with this gray sprite.
Oct:
You need no Taylors now, but Armorers,
Theres a deere reckoning for you all to pay,
About a Ladie; the Calabrian Duke
Is on a March: the Lightning flashes now,
Youle heare the cracke anone. Before the starre
To call whome vp, the wakefull Cocke doth sing
Bee twice more seene abroad; At your Citie gates
The Diuells puseunt will beate (the Canon)
Will these briske leaders (stucke with Estridge-feathers▪)
Goe braue your enemie now, and beate backe?
Saue thee, thy Kingdome, and themselues from wracke?
K:
Doard, I scorne to take prescription
From any breath to which ours is supreame,
Stood Diuels with fire-works on your battlements,
A thousand Armed Ioues at your proude walls
Hurling forked Thunder, and the gates rambd vp
With piles of Citizens heads, our spring-tyde pleasures
No aduerse windes, no Torrent shall resist▪
Midst flames weele dance, and dye a Nerenist.
Exit.
Omn:
Fight you, yare good for nothing else.
Exeunt.
Ast.
They mocke vs.
Oct.
All starke mad: let vs be wise,
And flye from buidldings falling to'th surer side,
If wee can his safety, if not, (our owne prouide.)
Exeunt.
Enter Barteruile like a Turke;—Lurchall.
Bar.
Thou hadst like t'ha sent mee swearing into Hell,
Ile weaue my Nettes my selfe, how doest thou like mee?
Is not this habite Turke-Merchant-like?
Lur:
A meere Turke sir, none can take you for lesse.
Bar:
King borrow 30000. Chequines of me! ha, ha!
Lur:
But pray sir, what ist turnes you into a Turke?
Bar:
That, for which manie their Religion,
Most men their Faith, all chaunge their honestie,
Profite, (that guilded god) Commoditie.
Hee that would grow damnd-Rich, yet liue secure,
Must keepe a case of Faces, sometimes demure.
Sometimes a grum-surly sir, now play the Iewe,
Then the Precisian; Not a man weele viewe.
But varies so. My selfe, (of bashfull nature)
Am thus supplyed by Arte.
Lur.
Mine owne deere creature.
But sit, your Aymes, and endes in this.
Bar.
Mary these—
A hundred thousand-lorens fill my Coffers,
Some of it is mine owne, and some the Kings,
Some taken vp at vse of sundry Merchants,
To pay at six six monthes, on mine owne band,)
Sue that, Ile keepe the monies in my hand.
Lur.
Youle breke sir.
Bar.
Not mine owne necke, but their backes;
To get ther monies, Bartaruile must die,
Make will, name an executer, which am I.
Lur.
Rre!
Bar.
Giuen out his kinsman, lately imployed
him in Turky.
Lur.
What will hence befall?
Bar.
Like an executer will I cozen all.
Make creditors Orphans, and widowes spend those teares
They sau'de from their late husbands burialls;
They get not ij. d▪ it'h pound.
Lur.
Theile tell the King.
Bar.
The King? ha ha: the King is going this way;
He meanes to borrow,
(If the warres holds) my gold: yes: when to morrow.
All debts of mine, on him shall be conferd,
Iha breifes and tickets which from time to time
Shew what large summes his minions ha fetcht from me,
His tribute mony has payd it, that's no matter,
The world bites these dead, whom aliue they flatter.
And so must I; then giue it out I left
A compleate state, but the Kings death bereft
Me of those summes he owde.
Lur.
Say the King preuailes.
Bar.
With that wind must I likewise shift my aile:
And where the fox gets nothing, will turne Ape,
Make legges, crouch, kisse my paw, present some stale
Deuice of vertues triumph to expresse
How much I ioy him safe, with nothing lesse.
Lur.
But how can you excuse your turning Turke?
Bar.
Easiest of all: Ile sweare, this saude my life,
Pursued by kennells of barking creditors:
For my much loue to him, and thus being forcde
To walke obscure, my credit fell to wracke,
Want of returne made all my factors breake,
In parts remote; to recompence which losse,
And that with setie I may giue direction
To my disturbd state, eraue I the Kings protection.
Lur.
Protection! whats that?
Bar.
A merchant, and yet know'st not
What a protection is? Ile tell thee.
Lur.
Pray sir, for I neuer broke with any man.
Br.
It is a buckler of a large ayre compasse
within with Fox-skinnes: In the midst
A pke sticks out, (sometimes of two yeeres long,
And sometimes longer.) And this pike keepes off
Srieants and Bailiffs, Actions, and Arrests:
Tis a strong charme gainst all the noisome smels
Of Counters, aylors, garnishes, and such hels;
By this, a debtor craize, so growes,
He may walke by, and play with his creditors nose.
Vnder this buckler, here ile lye and fence.
Lur.
You haue out-reacht me.
Bar.
Ile out-reache the diuell:
But I tempt danger: oe thou and fetch some Frier
As if (at point of death,) I did desire,
(No, Barteruile did desire (to make confession:
If any creditors beate, or raile at dore,
Vpstarts this Turke and answeres them.
Lur.
Why fetch I a Frier?
Bar.
I hau a reaching plot in that (boy) hasten,
That we may smle in our securer port:
Seeing others sea tost: why tis but a sport
For him thats safe, to see the proud waues swallow
Whole fleetes of wretched soules: it needes must follow,
Nature sent man into the world, (alone,)
Without all company, but to care for one, and that ile doe.
Lur.
True Citie doctrine sir.
Bar.
Away, thy hast, our richest loue shall earne,
Lur.
I came to teach, but now (me thinkes) must learne.
Enter Scumbroth like a begger.
Exeunt
Scu.
What saies the prodigall child in the painted cloth?
when all his mony was spent and gon, they turnd him out
vnnecessary; then did hee weepe and wist not what to don,
for he was in's hose and doublet verily, the best is, there are
but two batches of people moulded in this world, thats to say
Gentlemen and Beggers; or Beggers and Gentlemen, or
Gentlemanlike Beggers, or Beggerlike Gentle-men; I ranck
with one of these I am sure, tag and rag one with another: Am
I one of those whom Fortune fauours? No no, if Fortune fa∣uourd
me, I should be full, but Fortune fauours no body but
Garlicke, nor Garlike neither now, yet she has strong reason
to loue it; for tho Garlicke made her smell abhominably in
the nostrills of the gallants, yet she had smelt and stuncke
worse but for garlike: One filthy sent takes away anoher.
She once smilde vpon me like a lambe, when shee gaue me
gold, but now she roares vpon me like a Lion. Stay: what
said hea? Spend this brauely, and thou shalt haue more:
can ny prodigall newcome vpstart spend it more brauely?
and now to get more, I must goe into the groue of Naples
thats here, and get into a blacke tree, heares a blacke tree too,
but art thou he?
Glitt.
He.—within.
Scu.
H ha, where art thou my sweete great head?
Glitt.
Head.
Scu.
O'at the head, thats to say at the top: how shall I get
vp? for tis hard when a man is downe in this world to get vp,
I shall neuer climbe hie.
Glitt.
Hye.
Scu.
I will hie me then, but I am as heauy as a sow of lead.
Giltt.
Leade.
Scu.
Yes, I will lead (big Head) whatsoeuer followes,
Many a gallant for gold, has climbde higher on a gallowes'
The storme euen as Head nodded) is comming: Cooke, licke
thy fingers, now or neuer.
Glit.
Now or neuer.
Rayne, Thunder and lightning: Enter
Lucifer and Diuels.
Omn.
Oooh.
Luc:
This is the tree.
Scu.
On which would you all were hang'd, so I were off it,
and safe at home.
Luc.
And this (I am sure tis this) the horrid groue
Where witches broodes ingender, (our pace of meeting.)
Scu.
Doe witches ingender here: zounds I shall bee the
diuels bawde whilest he goes to his techerie.
Luc.
And this the hideous black infernall howre:
Hano appearance yet? if their least minute
Our vassailes breake, sinck shall these trees to hell.
Scu.
Alas!
Luc.
This groue ile turne into a brimstone lake
Which shall be euer-burning.
Scu.
The best is, if I be a match in the diuels tinderbox, I
can stinck no worse than I doe alreadie.
Luc.
Not yet come▪ Oooh!
Enter Shacklesoule, Rufmn,
embrace, and Lurchall, at seuerall dores
with other diuels.
Omn.
Oooh, oooh.
Scu.
Sure the feare no Christian
Diuels, they so loue one another.
Luc.
Stand forth.
Sits vnder the tree all about him.
Scu.
Frier Rush amongst 'em
Luc.
And here vnlade you of that pretious reight
For which you went, (mens soules;) what voyage is made?
Omn.
No sauing voyage, but a damning.
Luc.
Good.
Scu.
I thought the diuell was turnde Merchant, theres so
many Pirates at Sea.
Ruff.
Ith Court of Naples haue I prospred well,
And braue soules shall I shortly ship to hell▪
In sensuall streames, Courtier and King I ha crownde,
From whence warre is flowing, whose tyde shall all confound.
Scu.
Are there gentlemen diuels too? this is one of those,
who studies the black Art, thats to say, drinkes Tobacco.
Luc.
Are all then good ith Citie?
Lur.
No Lucifer.
Scu.
No nor scarce ith suburbes.
Lur.
Great Prince of diuels,
Thy hests I haue obayde,
I am bartring for one soule, able to lade
An Argocy; if Citie, oathes, if periuries,
Cheatings, or gnawing mens soules by vsuries,
If all the villanies (that a Citty can,)
Are able to get thee a sonne, I ha found that man.
Luc.
Serue him vp,—stands vp.
Scu.
Alas, now now.
Lur.
Damnation giues his soule but one turne more,
Cause he shall be enough.
Scu.
Its no meruaile if markets be deere, when the
is bund to find the diuell roast-meate.
Luc.
Has Rush lyen ydle?
Shac.
Ydle? no Lucifer.
Scu.
All the world is turnd diuell. Rush is one too,
Sha.
Ydle? I haue your nimblest diuell bin,
In twentie shapes begetting sin.
Scu.
One was to get me thrust out of the priory.
Sha.
I am fishing for a whole schoale of Friers.
Al are gluttoning or muttoning, stabbīg or swelling
Ther's onely one Lambe scapes my killing,
But I will haue him: then theres a cooke.—
Scu.
Whose arse makes buttons.
Sha.
Of whom I some reuenge haue tooke.
Scu.
The diuell choake you fort.
Sha.
He mickle scath has done me,
And the knaue thinkes to outrun me.
Scu.
Not too fast.
Luc.
Kick his guily soule hither.
Sha.
Ile driue him to despaire,
And make him hang himselfe.
Scu.
For hanging I stand faire.
Luc:
Goe, ply your workes, our Sessions are at hand.
Fire.
We fly to xeute thy dread command.
Exeunt. 3.
Scu.
Would I could flye into a bench-hole!
Luc.
But what haue you don? nothing.
1. Diu.
We haue all like bee
Wrought in that Hye of soule (the busie world:)
Some ha lyen in cheesmongers .
Scu.
Wud I were there but .
1. Diu.
For one halfe ounce, we had soule
Scu.
If he melted allow, hee smelt sweetly as I doe.
1. Diu.
Walke round hels shambles, thou shalt see there sticks
Some 4. buchrs soules, puft queintly vp with pricks.
Scu. 4.
Sweete-breads I hold my life, that diuels an asse.
1. Diu.
Taylors ore-reachers, for to this tis growne,
They scorne thy hell, hauing better of their owne.
Scu.
They feare not sattin nor all his workes.
1. Diu.
I haue with this fist beate vpon rich-mens hearts,
To make 'em harder: and these two thumbes thrust,
(In open Churches) into braue dames eares.
Damning vp attention; whilst the loose eye peeres
For fashions of gowne-wings, laces, purles, ruffes,
Fals, cals, tires, wires, caps, hats, and mufs, and pufs.
For so the face be smug, and carkas gay,
Thats all their pride.
Luc.
Twill be a festiuall day
When those sweete Duckes comes to vs: loose 'em not: goe:
More soules you pay to hell, the lesse you owe.
This Ewe-tree blast with your hot-scorching breath,
marke, (toth' witch who next sits here) of death.
Omn.
Ooooh.—Fireworkes: Scumbroath alls.
Exeunt Omn.
Scu.
Call you this, rayning downe of gold? I am wet toth'
skinne in the showre, but tis with sweating for feare: had I▪
now had the conscience that some Vintners and Inholders
haue? here might I haue gotten the diuell and all. But two
sinnes haue vndone me, prodigalitie, and couetousnesse: and
three Pees haue pepperd me, the Punck, the Pot, and Pipe of
smoake, out of my pocket my gold did soake. I cannot sweare
now, zounds I am gallant: but I can sweare as many of the
ragged Regiment doe, zounds I haue bin a gallant. But I am
now downe, deiected, and debash'd, and can better drawe out
a thirdendale gallant, thats to say, a gallant that wants of his
true measure, than any can draw him out of his scores:
thus he vp and hee's pulls downe; thus is he raised
and thus declinde:
Nominatiuo, Gallantus, a Gallant.
Genetiuo, Hugious, braue.
Datiuo Huc, If he gets once a ck,
Accusatiuo Hunc, Of a affay Punck.
Accusatiuo Hunc,
Hunc, Hnc, & Hoc, With vp her smock▪
Genetiuo, Horum, Yet hees a begger in coram.
Datiuo, His: His gilt rapier he does misse.
Acustiuo Hos, Without his cloake he goes.
Accusati Has, To the Counter he must passe.
Hos, has▪ & Hae, With Catchpols at his back.
! A hole he desirde, and to t' hole he must goe.
Abltiuo, ab His, Thus many a Cllant declined is.
Exit.
Enter Erminild to the Subprior.
Sub.
What art thou?
Er.
Daughter to the Calabriam Duke.
The haples trothplight wife to your sad King.
Sub.
Alack! what notes are these I heare you sing?
Pardon me madam:
O Lady! want of you has bred much woe;
Calamitie does euery where ore-flow,
All long of your strange absence.
Drommes afr off marching.
Er.
I confesse,
Loaden with your Kings contempt▪ and loath to beare
Shame to my country▪ who from thence came freighted
With many glorious honours, I preferd
An obscure life before a publick shame;
O then (good ther) be it not my blame
If my supposde death, on the King haue throwne,
Dangers, which from himselfe are meerely growne.
Sub.
What (princely Mayden) would you wish me doe?
Er.
I doe conure you sir, by all the bonds
Tye you to pious Acts, you would make way
To my incensed father; giue him these lines,
This Ring, pledge of that blessing he deliuerd me
At our last parting: adde vnto these, if euer
His daughters memory to him were deare,
To wound the Prince let his rash hand forbeare:
Snce through each woūd he giues him, I am slaine,
If the sad king you meete, venture to tell him
That more for him, than he for me, I bide,
And am his subiect stil, tho not his bride.
Sub.
This shall I doe, how shall we meete againe?
Er.
Feares follow me so, I know not where nor when.
Sub.
Hearke how the sound of horror beates the Ayre,
Your fathers vp in Armes and does prepare
Sharpe vengnce, for this citie, woe is me: trust yo
To me, who nere made much of woman yet,
Rest here sweete maide, till an old Frier beget
What ioyes he can to comfort thee? Is Clement growne
A womans man now? No, I am not mine owne,
Where your command may sway me:
Much more in this,
Where heauen) through vertues triall) makes you his.
Exit.
A table is set out with a candle burning, a deaths head, a
cloke and a crosse; Subprior sits reading:
Enter Shackle-soule, leading in an Italian Zany,
fiue or 6. Gurtizans, euery one holding a Iewell.
Shac.
Thats he, & theres your golden hire to charme him;
Your fees ile treble, let but lusts flame be felt;
The Alpine-snow at the un's beames does melt,
So let your beauties haw his frozen Age,
Musick first act an old Lecher, then a diuell on hells black Stage:
Strike, strike your siluer strings: braue set of whores?
At your striking vp, diuell dance, and all hell roares.
Zny and Curtizans fall into a short dance,
Sub.
What sound offends mine eare? Soule of temptation?
Enchanters I defie yee, get you gon;
Ime blind to your enticements, from this I learne,
At how deere rate the careles world does arne.
That thing calld pleasure: how many soules doe fall?
(Sold for a little guilt top daube this wall?)
Hence with your witchcrafts, the sight of this driues hence,
All thoughts besieging our voluptuous sence.
Shac:
Another baite, at this he will not bite.
The Zany singes: Subprior holds his head downe
as fast a sleepe.
Zany.
Will you haue a daintie girle? here tis:
Currall lippes, teeth of pearle: here tis:
Cherry checkes, softest flesh; thats shee,
Breath like May, sweete and fresh; shee shee.
Be she white, blacke, or browne,
Pleasure your bed shall crowne,
Chose her then, vse her then,
Women are made for men.
Prettie, prettie wast:
Sweete to be embracde:
Prettie leg, ô prettie foote,
To beauties tree the roote▪
This is she shall doo'te,
Or she shall doo't, or she shall doo't, she shall doo't, she shall doo't
Kisse, kisse, play, play, come and dally,
Tumble, tumble, tumble, in beauties valley.
Shac.
His soule is chaind in pleasures, bind it fast,
If he breake your charmes▪ the strongest spell comes last.
(Eexit.
All wake him.
Sub.
Hence diuells incarnate, tis not the orcerie
Of your deceitfull tunes, shuts vp mine eye,
Mine eares are likewise stop'd, hence, hence I say.
Omn.
Ha ha, a man of yee, a clod of clay.
Exeunt.
Enter Shackle soule, or some spirit in a frightfull shape.
Sub.
Are all thy incantations spent now? art come againe?
Base workmanship of heauen, what other traine,
Were all hells frightfull horrors stucke in thy looke,
Thou canst not shake me.
Shac.
I can.
Sub.
Thou liest, thou shalt not▪
Shac.
I bring thee tydings of thy death this nigh▪
Sub.
How doest thou know that houre of my last fight?
False herald, Minister of despaire and lyes.
Shac.
I know to how many minutes thy daies must rise.
Sub.
Who giues thee the number.
Shac.
All things to vs are knowne,
What euer haue bin, are, or shalbe don.
Sub.
Ile pose thee presently, whats this thou fiend▪
Which now I haue turnd too, doe but tell me that
And ile belieue thee▪
Shac.
I scorne to be thy slaue▪
Sub.
Downe, downe, and sincke into thy damned cau:
Looke here, doest fly thou hell-hound? I dare thee stand,
Or'e thee by these holy spells haue I strong command,
Thy battries are too weake: by goodmens prayers,
The continence of saints, (by which as stayres,
They ascend to heauen) by Virgins chastitie;
By Martis cround deaths, which recorded lye
In siluer leaues, aboue: I charge thee downe,
Howle where tha'rt bound in slauerie, till the last dome,
Exit.
Shac.
Stormes, thunder, lightning, rip vp the earths wombe.
Sub.
Eternall power, thankes on my humbled knee,
Thou still to constant brests giu'st victory.
Shac.
No way to conquer thee? Ile giue thee ore:
Ne're fishd I so, (yet lost a soule) before.
Exit.
Allarums▪ Enter King, Rufman, Spendola, Brisco, with
drawne weapons. Iouinelli here.
Kin.
Blacke horrors, mischiefe ruine and confusion
affright vs, follow vs.
Ruf.
Dae them to the face,
And you fright them.
Spen.
No safetie but to fly.
Kin.
Whither Spendola, whither? better stay, and die.
Enter Narcisco: King, Allarums afar of.
Omn.
What hope? what newes?
Kin.
Is my vncle fled?
Nar.
Hees is gon:—And fights against you.
Kin.
Follow him damnation,
That leaues his Prince so in distresse, in miserie;
O ban of Kings! (thou inchanting flatterie,)
Thy venome now I feele, ating my heart,
More mortall than an Indians poisned dart.
Ruf.
Yar'e too deiected, gather head and fight it ou.
Kin.
The head's here, where are hands to lay about?
Enter Iouinelli.
Iou.
Where is the King?
Kin.
The man that title mockes
Is here, (thou sad-visage man) are any hirde to kill me,
Or betray me? let 'em come:
Griefes growing extreame, death is a gentle doome.
Iou.
Prepare then for the worst.
Kin.
I am armd ort: shew it.
Iou.
Thy kingdome is a weake ship, bruizd, split, sinking,
Nor hast thou any pilot to waft vs o're
Out of this foule Sea, to some calmer shore.
Thy peoples hearts are turnd to rocks of flint,
The Scholler, Souldier, and the Mariner,
Whom (as themselues say) once thou trodst vpon,
Now serue as wheeles of thy destruction.
Iou.
Flying swiftly backward, the kingly Lions quaild,
What shall the weaker heardes doe, if he fall?
Spen.
Lets fly.
Omn.
Zounds whither?
Bris.
So we may be safe—
Iou.
But where?
Spen.
At Barteruile: the churle's to me beholden,
His house so stands, we may enter without feare.
Omn.
Beet so, to Barteruile.
Spen.
What will your Highnes doe?
Kin.
Die Spendola, a miserable King,
None here can hinder vs of that.
Spen.
How? die?—ha you any stomach to death sirs?
Omn.
Not I.
Spen.
Not I.
Troth's, tho you grow desperate, weele grow wise.
Omn.
Farewell sir, weele saue one.—
Exeunt.
King.
Oh my cruelst enemies!
Stabs Brus at me too?
Ruf.
Now mine owne or neuer.
Kin.
Why art not thou gon?
Ruf.
I, Ile sticke to you euer:
I am no Courtier sir of fortunes making
Kin.
Thou art no wiseman to preferre thy loue.
To me, before thy life, pray thee leaue me.
Ruf.
Not I.
K.
I shall not hate the world so really
As else I would, O had the ancient race
Of men (who had long leases of their liues)
Bin wretched as we are, no recompence
Could the Gods haue giuen them for their being here,
But now more pittifull wise nature growes,
Who cuts of mans yeeres to cut off his woes.
Ruff.
True sir, & teaches him a thousand waies
To leade him out this horrid giddy maze.
K.
I apprehend thee, a small daggers point,
Opens the vaines to cure our plurizy.
Ruff.
Than to be made your foes-slaue, better dye.
K.
A hundred thousand deaths, than like a captiue
Be chaind to grace prowd Caesars Chariot wheele.
Ruff.
Much lesse a pettie Dukes.
K.
Fetch me deare friend,
An armed Pistoll, and mouth it at my brest:
Ile make a way my selfe, and all my sorrowes
Are made away.
Ruff.
The best and nobler spirits
Haue done the like.
K.
Your brauest men at Armes
Haue done the like.
Ruff.
Philosophers haue don it.
K.
Great peeres haue don it.
Ruff.
Kings haue done the like.
K.
And I will doe it.
Ruff.
Nay it shall nere be said,
I liu'd a minute after you: here, here.
K.
I embrace thee noblest friend.
Ruff.
Lets saile together.
K.
Content braue Bohor: oh! but whither? whither?
Ruff.
From hell, (this world,) from, fiends, (in shapes of men.)
K.
No: into hel, fro men to be dambd black with fiends.
Me thinkes I see hell awne to swallow vs.
Ruff.
Fuh, this is but the swimming of your braine,
By looking downe-wards with a timerous eye.
K.
My soule was sunck too low, to looke more hye,
Forgiuenes heauen.—Allarums.
Ruff.
The whippes of furies lash mee: the foe comes on.
K.
And we will meete him, dare confusion,
And the worlds mixed poisons, there is a hand
That fights for Kings, and vnder that weele stand.
Allarum still a farre off: Enter a Frier running.
Ruff.
Whither runnes this rier?
Fri.
To saue my wretched life,
From th'insolent soldier, threatning the Cities spoile.
K.
Of what house art thou?
Fri.
Of father Clements Order,
The Capachines Subprior: a quick messenger fetched me to
be rich Bateruiles confessor, who lyes a dying.
K.
A !
Fri.
He does, but I
Haue come thus far, with so much ieopardy.
That could I safely get the keys shore,
Nor the priory would I see more.
For charities sake, direct me, and defend me.
K.
To helpe destressed men, religion bindes me,
Shouldst thou in this hot broiles, be met abroad,
It will be iudgde you leaue your Priory,
Carying gold and siluer with you.
Eri.
Las I haue none.
K.
But Frier if you be thus taken, your life is gon,
Here, here, cast off thy habit, better that lye
Ith Streetes than thou poore wretch; weare mine, & away
Strike downe that lane.
Fri.
Thankes maister, for your liues ile pray.
Exit.
K.
This Bohor shall disgise me, whither wilt thou fly▪
Ruff.
Ile shift I warrant: hast thou toth' Priory▪
K.
If we nere meete againe, (best friend) farewell.
Ruff.
Not meete, yes, I hope, you must not thus cheae hel.
K.
I will not trust this fellow: toth' Priory, no:
(Exit.
Barteruiles Confessor: f to betray
Thou findst the churle apt, leaue him, if not, there stay,
The downefall of that Prince, is quick and steepe.
Who has no heart to leaue, nor power to keepe,
Exit.
Enter Barteruile and Lurchall, with the Courtiers.
Lur.
Make the doore sure the house is round beset.
Omn.
Beset!
Bar.
Put vp: feare nothing: Armies should they enter,
Cannot here find you.
Omn.
How shall we escape?
Bar.
Send or your trancks and iewels, ile ship you this
night meane time, this vnknowne way, leads to a celar,
where a world cannot fetch you forth: In, In, if danger pur∣sue
you, in a dryfa ile packe you hence▪
Omn.
Zounds into the dungeon?
Bar.
So to Sardini:
Exeunt.
Your cloakes and your gilt rapiers downe, downe, downe.
K.
How soone meetes Babels-pride, confusion?
Lur.
What nest of birds are these new-kild with feare?
Bar.
Fowle cannot last long sweete, therefore kept there Serieants.
In my cold cellar; stay, house beset? what ees?
Lur.
Such as strike dead the heart, yet giue no blowes.
Bar.
This—foota for 'em: proclamations Lurchall,
6000. Crownes are his, can these beray,
Soone earnd, weele share fetch, the Caabriam hither,
They are here say: dam 'em.
Lur.
You shall de dambd together.
Exit.
Enter Ki as a Frier.
K.
Wher's that deuote sicke man desires to take
Leaue off this world? Dus ic to all now here.
Bar.
Now Domine ier; what I to you confesse
You are bound by oath to eepe.
K.
I aer no lsse.
Bar.
Keepe then this close, I am no Turke, not I,
But Barteruil disguise i pollicy.
K.
Ar you the Sickma▪
Bar.
Sick of a disease,
Bad as a plague to Citizens, I must breake,
Play a banckrowts part) I haue monie of the kings,
Of merchants, Ile keepe all, these are Citie-springs;
Here lyes Serieants Leaguer: about my doores:
My house to me is an hospitall, they the sores
Which run vpon me vily, (peepe I but out.)
To raize this Dunkirke seige, thus cast I about.
K.
Lets heare, pray how?
Bar.
Thus, thus sweete Domine Frier,
Ile be like you, a apuchine: So, by your Prior,
Sub-prior, and couent, I may be fetcht hence,
Spite of all Showlder-clappers violence.
Tho the King should lay hands on me, I wud not tary.
K.
You neede not.
Bar.
You are my guard, my Sanctuary.
K.
But what your leuel in this, when this is don?
Bar.
Alas▪ what euell but pure deuotion?
K.
The Diuell you haue.
Bar.
When I dye there, take All:
Will you goe to your prior and tell this?
A March afar.
K.
Yes I shall.
Bar.
Ile send him an earnest peny (a 100. Crownes)
As the first stone my charitie builds vpon.
What drom's this? come, dispatch Frier, and be gon.
Exit.
K.
Out of this hell thou meanest: yes ile fly from thee
As from the Diuels hangman: thowl't else betray mee.
World▪ to what crest of villanie art thou growne?
When (of good men) ole kingdomes scarce breede One.
Exit.
Lur.
Heres the Duke of Calabria sir if you haue made mee
tell a ye, theie se me of a voiage to the yland of Hogs and
Diuels, (the Barmudas,) e Duke sir.
Bar.
His grace is welcome, as! I had more neede
To haue Phisitions and Apothecaries,
Than fighters at my gates: Lurchall why come they?
Cala.
Deliuer vp those monsters in thy house,
That haue deuourd a Kingdome and the King.
Tis death to thee, and him, if thou detainst 'em.
Bar.
I detaine 'em, here, here, here.
Ast.
Reward if thou deliuerst them.
Bar.
Ime past rewarding in this world, I looke
onely for good mens prayers, theres the key Lurchall.
Cal.
Vnbind him: stay why did thy house receiue them?
Bar.
Full fore against my will: the bed I rise from
Count I my death-bed; for (each minute) I looke
When Angells (heauens good porters) will let me in,
Yet (like my betters) I'me heauy laden with sin.
And being thus sicke, and at last gaspe, I sent for my
neerst cozen, my executor,
Who seeing braue fellowes beating at my gates,
Tooke 'em for honest men, let 'em in simply,
And vndertooke this night, to ha shipd 'em hence;
My faithfull Seruant telling me this, (In zeale,
To you and my country) I bid him, All reueale.
Cal.
Thast plaid a Subiects part in't.
Bar.
Heele lead you to them.
Cal.
My Lord, take force and seize 'em, nere stand vpon
More trialls; giue 'em speedie execution▪
Ast.
Come fellow.—
Exeunt Ast: and Lurchall cum Mili∣tibus.
Bar.
Your grace has don with me?
Calb.
Goe, looke to thy health:
The crownes the proclamation promised,
Shall to thy man be payd.
Bar.
Thankes to your Grace:
Las what I did in this, was for no hire.
Cal.
Ha ha, the rent of a cellar neuer was so deere.
On beate the drum.
Exit.
As they goe off; Enter Octauio with Rufman and a guard.
Octa.
Are the rest tanc?
Cal.
Yes.
Oct.
The graund-Pyrat's here.
Heres the Diuells bellowes, kindled all those fires,
Which now are burning: This is the Snake, whose sting
(being kept warme in the bosome of a King)
Struck him to'thheart: This hee, who by the force
Of his damb'd Arguments, was the first diuorce,
Of the Kings Loue, this is Bohor.
Cal.
This that Serpent,
Y'haue all (like Traytors) wrought a Princes fall,
And all shall taste one death.
Oct.
Sirra, wheres the King?
Ruff:
Warrant mee life, ile bring you to the place
where you shall take him.
Oct.
Wult thou betray him Slaue?
Ruff:
Yes.
Cal.
Thou shalt haue life.
Ruff:
And you the King shall haue.
Oct:
And the Gallows shall haue thee, else hang me. Away
Exeunt.
Enter Scumbroth.
Scum:
Alas, whereas the sub Prior?
Sub:
Here, what ailest thou?
Scu.
Can you picke nothing out of my face?
Is there not a Deaths-head standing on my shoulders?
Sub:
Why, what's the matter?
Scu:
The Lord Pryor is called away:
Sub:
Whtiher, by whome?
Scu.
By the Great-head, I thinke he couzened ee,
Hee is gone to the blacke-squibbe-tree, to
Iudas Oke! set by the Diuell, I tolde you then,
I saw rier Rush spit fire amongst other Hel-ct,
and yee woud not belieue me▪ Now I tell you,
that the Pryor is choackt; will his choaking
goe downe your throate?
Sub:
How choackt?
Scum:
Yes, choackt: that of which men die ore-night, and
are well the next morning, wine has kild the Lorde Pryor:
he ud in a brauerie taste the liquor of our Vines, because
you thratned he should neuer licke his lippes after. And the
Kernell of a grape stopt his winde-pipe, for want of a kow∣ring-sticke.
Sub:
Art thou sure hee is dead?
Scum:
How dead, because I wud be sure,
I cut his throate of purpose, to take out the
Kernell.
Sub:
Most fearefull and prodigious, whither runst thou?
Scum:
To see more throates cut, and Execution of certaine
Gallants is this morning. And I came running to see them,
who like a whore spoyles euery good thing that comes into
his hand. The hang-man, I leaue you to the Gallowes.
Enter Barteruile like a Frier, brought in by the Subprior,
the King, Shackle-soule, and Lurchall, with others.
Rush:
Welcome deare brother: now your heede must be
Not to looke backe at this worlds vanitie,
Riches and pleasures: you haue laide aside
That Garment, and must now be mortifide.
Bar:
I am mortifide, I warrant you.
K:
So is the Diuell.
Pri.
Your Gold and siluer, you must see no more.
Bar:
O ye! giue it euery farthing to the poore,
When I haue sent for't hither.
Lur:
That will be neuer.
Ru:
Your money shalbe spent in pious sort.
Bart:
I know that: Let my sle be the better or't,
Thats all I craue for, after I am dead.
Pri.
Many a Requem for it shall be said.
Omn:
What Dru is ?
Sck.
ryers stand pon your Guard.
The Prioe is beset with Armed-men,
Of which some Troupes are .
Kin.
I am betrayd.
Bar.
Lurchall I feele my wezand pipe cut.
Lur.
I warrant you.
Enter Calabria, Octauio, Astolfo, Rufman led by two
holding pistalls, Souldiers, drums, and Cullors.
Cal.
Guard the Abbey gates, let not a Frier goe forth:
You haue a King amongst you, which is he?
Omn.
A King!
Sub.
I know of none here▪
Cal.
Villaines you lie:
Oct.
This caitife does delude you, tortur him.
Cal.
Hang him, and these vp or'e the Abbey walls,
Our wrath shall smite like thunder where it falls.
Bar.
I shall like a dog, die without money, Lurchall.
Lur.
I warrant you.
Kin.
Tyran, that royall hart thou huntst, is here,
Stand from me all, you haue betrayd me all,
And ile trust none of you, if the Lion must fall,
Fall shall he like a Lion; thinkst thou (base Lord)
Because the glorious Sun behind blacke cloudes
Has a while hid his beames, hees darkned for euer?
Ecclipsd neuer more to shind, yes, and to throw
Fires from his sparklings eyes, thee to confound,
Touch not that noble friend of mine, (It seemes,
For my sake markd for danger,) let your arrowes
(Dipd in rancke poyson) be shot all at me,
Since all is lost, die nobly, and loose life too:
O vncle! must the first dart fly from you?
Oct.
Into thy bosome fly I.
Kin
To betray me?
Oct.
To fight for thee till I can fight no more:
Hadst thou possest this Kingly spirit before,
We ne're had left thee: what makes Iudas here?
Ast.
Heres he that to the Duke thy life betraide.
K.
Bohor!
Oct.
I, Bohor.
Ruff.
I told him where you were.
Oct.
I tell thee tha'rt a traitor & ile haue
Thy head off, or thou mine.
Ruff.
Head?
Oct.
Thart a slaue?
Thou seest Duke what to trust too.
Bar.
I haue confest, and shal be hangd, the King?
Cal.
Our faire game come to this? our swordes I see▪
Must from your hearts-blood let out al my wronges?
A murdred daughter for iust vengeance cryes,
Whom to appease, your liues weele sacrafize:
Beate the drom.
K.
Thunder mock thunder, beat ours.
Sub.
O let these fires be quench out with my tears,
I waters cannot, (Duke) I bind thy rage
With this strong charme, nd ths read ore that spell,
And let thy hard brest grow more flexible.
Exit.
K.
Wheres Iounelli; and that bastard cue
Of my false friendes?
Oct.
Beheaded.
K.
They haue their due.
Cal.
The ring I gaue her, and her hand: old man,—
Wheres the old Frier deliuerd these?
Omn.
Hees gon.
Cal.
Make after him, tis some delusion.
Enter Subprior and Erminild.
Erm.
Tis no delusion (father) am I the ground
Of this your quarrell, which must both confound
If you goe on: your battailes thus ile pt,
The first blow giuen, shall run cleane through my heart▪
Oh constant maid, forgiue my wrongs,
The of heauen to a pyning spring
such comfort giue as thy glad presence
my bosome.
Octa.
Will you fight or no?
Cal.
Twere madnes to wish stormes when faire windes blow:
Will you your saith yet keepe?
Kin.
Inuiolate.
Cal.
Then here end all my warres.
King.
And all my hate.
Ha all these Friers vp to the Abbey walles,
And with shrill voyces, this our peace proclaime,
Stay holy father: Bohor, See you this don.
(Exeunt.
Suf.
Vengeance, I haue now lost more than I haue won.
Bar.
I shall goe scot free Lurchall.
Lur.
Passing well?
Bar.
They doe not smell me, yet my selfe I smell.
Exeunt.
Oct.
Why sends your Hignes, thus these Friers to play
Your heralds parts in publishing this peace?
Kin.
There's in't a riddle (vncle) which by none but by
these Friers onely, can be don.—Enter Friers aboue.
So: are you mounted? Sing now.
Omn.
Sing.
Kin.
Yes sing,
Like Swannes before your deathes: there you all shall dye;
Ciue fire to this most damned priory.
Sub.
Alacke for pitty!
Kin.
Father, but for thee,
Thunder from heauen had (long ere this) to dust
Grinded these hellish buildings: that hand was ust,
Which ruke your vitious Prior, so is our doome,
That Synagogue of diuells, let fire consume.
Bar.
But meanes the King that I shall burne here too?
Kin.
Thou? the grand villaine, giue him a villaines due.
Bar.
I am no Frier, see I'me poore Barteruile.
Omn.
How? Barteruile?
Kin.
He lyes the slaue's a Turke.
Bar.
A Christian by this hand, Your officer.
Kin.
The cittie canker, the courts cozener,
A diuell in shape of man.
Bar.
Halfe that I haue
I freely giue, so you my life will saue.
Ile lend your Hyghnes 30000. chequines.
K:
Ten Kingdomes cannot buy thee; were there hel
Thart dambd in all, S'death! fie that house of diuels.
3. Diu.
Doe: lets not want light to set forth our Re∣uels.
Ruff.
King, little doest tho know, whom (all this while)
Thy court, this Couent, and this Barteruile,
Haue entertaind: of hell, 3. Spirits we are.
Omn.
How?
Ruff.
Sent to catch soules for Pluto, our Prince and mai∣ster.
Omn.
Defend vs heauens.
Ruff.
Thy selfe hast burst those bandes
In which I once held thee: these are in our handes.
Bar.
If you be right Serieants, for mony youle let mee
goe. 5000 Crownes ile giue but to goe home.
All.
3. No.
Bar.
Ile put in 4. brokers to be my baile: I ope theile be (taken.
Ruff.
Yes as thou art, (to hell,) vou dog leaue howling.
This pile of greene young diuels, needes no fire
Of mortals kindling to consume, these frames,
You shall with vs to hell ride, all in flames.
Shac.
Catch.
Au.
3. Come.
Ruff.
Let euery spirit his owne prize beare
Au.
They are so heauy with sin, theile soone be there.
Ruff.
Away then and be dambd, wud you all were here.
Omn.
Oooh—Sinck downe, aboue flames.
K.
Immortall thankes for our deliuerance:
Race to the ground those wals: no stone shall stand,
To tell such place was euer in our land,
What welth can there be found, giue to the poore,
Another house weele build and thee restore,
To former virginitie: weepe not for these ruines,
Thou shalt from vs haue honours. Here we begin
Or reigne anew, which golden threds shall spin,
Iustice shall henceforth sit vpon our throne,
And vertue be your Kings companion.
Warre here resignes his black and horrid stage
To sportfull Hymen, God of Mariage.
(Exeunt.
The play ending, as they goe off, from vnder the ground
in seuerall places, rise vp spirits, to them enter, leaping in
great ioy, Rufman, Shackle soule, and Lurchall, discoue∣ring
behind a curten, Rauillac, Guy Faulx, Barteruile, a
Prodigall, standing in their torments.
Omn.
Spir. Ha, ha, ha.
Omn.
Dam. Torments in-vtterable! oh! dambd for no∣thing?
Rauill.
Terrors incomprehensible.
Fau.
Back: y'are blowne vp else.
Bar.
Whooh: hot, hot, hot,-drinck,-I am heart-burnt.
Prod.
One drop, a bit.
Faul.
Now, now, now.
Bar.
I am perbold, I am stewd, I am sod in a kettle of brim∣stone,
pottage.—it scaldes,—it scaldes,—it scaldes,—it scaldes—whoo
Diu.
Ha ha ha:
Prod.
But one halfe crom, a little little drop, a bit.
Faul.
Towers, towers, towers, towers, pinnacles & towers,
battlements and pynnacles, steeples, abbeys, churches and
old chimnyes.
Bar.
Zounds drinke, hall I choake in mine Inne? drinck.
Omn.
Drinck, drinck, oh! one drop, one drop, to coole vs.
Ruff.
So many tapsters in hell, and none fill drinck here:
Omn.
Ball no more, you shall be liquord.
Exeunt.
Rau.
Why art thou dambd toth' horrors of one hell,
Yet feelst ten thousand.
Fau.
Wherefore is thy soule
Made sensible of tortures which (each minute)
Kill thee ten thousand times, yet canst not dye?
Bar.
Some sacke.
Prod.
Why for a few sinnes that are long hence past,
Must I feele torments that shall euer last? Euer euer.
Bar.
Let the sacke be mulld.
Rau.
Why is the diuell,
(If man be borre good) suffred to make him euill?
Bar.
Man is an asse, if he sit broyling thus ith glasse house
Without drinke: two links of my chaine for a three halfe peny
bottle of mother consciences Ale: drinke.
Omn.
One drop of puddle water to coole vs.
Enter Shackle soule with a burning torch, and a long knife,
Lurchall with a handfull of Snakes, A third spirit with
a ladle ull of molten gold, All three make a stand,
aughing.
Omn.
Leaue howling and be dambd.
Shac.
Heres drinke for thee royall villaine.
Stbs Rauillac.
Rau.
Oh!
Sbac.
Ist not good!
For bloud th'ast thirsted, and thy drinke is bloud.
Strikes it so cold to thy heart? heres that shall warme thee (Agen.
Rau.
Danation, suries, fire-brandes.—
Hand burn't off.
Omn.
Ha, ha, ha.
Prod.
One drop of moisture, but one crum.
Lur.
Art hungry, eate this adder: dry? Sucke this Snake.
Prod.
Sucke and be dambd thy selfe: Ile starue first. Away
Bar.
Is not this all waters? Ruby water, some Ruby water,
Or els a bottle of posterne water to saue charges, or els a
Thimble-full of lymon water, to coole my stomatch the ru-
Spir.
By is swilld vp all, heres lymon, downe with't.
Bar.
Foh, the great diuell or els some Aquauite woman
has made water, It salds me.
Omn.
Oooh.
Diu.
Ha ha ha▪—
Curtaines a drawne ouer them.
Eter Rufman.
Ruf.
Hell grinnes to heare this roaring: wheres this black
child of faddomles perdition? rarest diuell
That euer hould in Barathrum? here, (deere pupill)
Of a new damnations stamp, Saucer-eyde Lucifer,
Hs drunke to thee this deepe infernall boule off,
Wut pledge his vglines?
Fau.
Reach it mee.
Ruf.
Choake with it.
Omn.
Ha ha ha.
Fau.
Giue fire, blow all the world vp.
Ruf.
Bounce: tis don. Ha ha ha.—
Fires the barrell-tops.
Fau.
I shalbe grinded into dust; It falls: I am mad.
Omn.
I am mad, I am mad.—
Within.
A
4. Ha ha ha.
Others.
Ho ho ho.—
Spirits from below.
Eter Pluto, attended by Minos, Aeac us, and
Rhadmanth, and 3. Faries.
Plu.
Fetch whippes of poysoned steele, strung with glou∣ing wires.
And lash these saucie hell-hounds: ducke their soules,
Nine times tot'n bottome of our brimstone lakes,
From whence vp pull them by their sindged hayre,
Then hang'em in ropes of yce nine times frozen o're:
Are they scarce hot in hell, and must they roare?
What holliday's this? that heres such grinning, ha!
Is hell a dancing Schoole? yare in extreames,
Snoring, or els horne-mad? who are set on shore,
On this vast land of horror, that it resounds,
With laughter stead of shrikes, who are come to our bounds? ha!
Ruf.
Dread Lord of this lower tortary, to thy Iayle
Haue we thy busie Catch-polls (prisoners) brought
Soules, for whose comming all hell long hath sought.
Plu.
Their names: Is Ward and Dantziker then come?
Omn.
Yes: Daziker is come.
Plu.
Wheres the dutch Schellum? wheres hells factor ?
Ruf.
Caron has bound him for a thousand yeeres,
To tug ats oare: he scourd the Seas so well,
Charon will make him ferriman of hell.
Plut.
Where's Ward?
Rush.
The Merchants are not pilld nor pulld enough,
They are yet but shauen, when they are fleade, hee'le come.
And bring to hell fat booties of rich theeues,
A crew of swearers and drinkers the best that liues.
Omn.
Ward is not ripe for damming yet.
Plu.
Who is it then?
Cutlar the Serieant: ha! he come.
Ruf.
Yes Pluto:
Cutlar has bin here long, sent in by a carman,
But his sterne lookes the feindes did so displease,
Bound hand and foote, he houles in little ease,
Hauing onely mace to comfort him: he does yell,
And raue, because he cannot rest in hell.
Shac.
Tis not for him, that we this holliday hold.
Plut.
The baude of Shorditch, Is that helleat come?
Ruf.
No: but sha's bin a long time lanching forch,
In a Rosa-solis-barke.
Plu.
Diuells! who is it then?
Mall Cutpurse is she come?
Omn.
Our cosen come? No.
Shac.
Tis not yet fit Mall Cutpurse here should houle,
Shee has bin too late a sore-tormented soule.
Plu.
Where is our daughter? ha? Is shee ydle?
Omn.
No.
Shee was beating hemp in bridewell to choke theeues,
Therefore to spare this shee ramp she beseeches,
Till like her selfe all women weare the breeches.
Lur.
Mall Cutpurse plyes her taske and cannot come.
Plu.
For whom then s this wilde Shroue-tuesday kept?
Ruf.
See King of gloomie shades what soules resort,
To this thy most iust, and least-fying court.
Plu.
Stay, since our Iayle is with braue-fellowes storde,
Bid Charon that no more yet come aboard.
Seeing our Iudges of hell here likewise are
Sit: call a Sessions: set the soules to a barre.
Minos (the iust:) Rhadamanth (the temperate.)
And Aeacus (the seuere,) each take his state.
Min.
Not an officer here?
Omn.
A Fury.
3. Iud.
Make an Oyes?
Fury.
Oyes! All manner of soules, if they loue their owne
quietnes, keepe out of hell, vnlesse they haue horrible busi∣nesse
at this infernall sessions, ypon paine of being damnably
plagude for their lustines. Back there, let those shackeld rake∣hels
shew their faces.
Omn.
Roome here, we must come into the court within.
Plu.
What damned fiends are those dare make this noise?
Shac.
A Iury of Brokers impanelde, and deepely sworne,
To passe on all the villaines in hell.
Rhad.
Euill-Conscience be their keeper.
Fury.
Looke to the Iury: Euill-Conscience looke to the Brokers.
Plu.
Now proceede.
Aeac.
Stay, let the King of Ghosts haue first a vew
Of those who are doom'd to paines horrid, but new.
Then produce those who came to your prison vntryed.
Fur.
Peace there.
Omn.
Heres one, hels tortures does deride.—Rauillac.
Rau.
Arraigne me, rend me peece-meale, ile confesse no∣thing.
Ruff.
Peace, thou shalt ball thy throate out.
Rau.
Merciles hangmen! to tiranize ouer so braue a Ro∣man spirit.
Plu.
Ho, ho, what country diuell is this?
Rau.
Thine owne.
Ruff:
A french.
The eagerest blood hound that ere came from thence;
Is there a King to be murdred, whilest he does stand
Colossus-like, supporting a whole land,
And when by his fall that Land most feares a wracke,
Send forth this diuell; his name is Rauillac.
Rau.
Ruillac: I am Rauillac, that laughes at tortures,
at death, defies all mercy: Iybbets, racks, fires, pin∣cers,
scalding oyle, wilde-horses, I spit in the face of all.
ur.
Peace.
Rau.
No: were my tongue torne out with burning flesh∣hookes,
Fames 100. tonges shall ūder ou Rauillas name,
exoll it, eternise it, it! Canonise it: oh!
Min.
Downe with this diuell to'th dunge on, there let him
houle.
Rau.
Worlds shall applaud my Act, and crowne my soule.
Plu.
Another.
Exit.
Omn.
Come, you leane dog.—
Prodigall. Brought in
Prod.
One drop, a bit.
Plu.
Whats he? what staruelings this?
Prod.
One that lacks a medicine for hunger: I am falne away.
Omn.
From heauen.
Iudg.
To'th common Iayle with him.
Fur.
He must feede on beggeries basket: leaue balling serra.
Prod.
Shall I be vndon for a little drinke.
Lur.
No, thart vndon for drinking.
Plu.
Starue him away—
Exit Prodigall.
What was he when he liu'de.
Lur.
A prodigall:
Who (in one yeare,) spent on whores, fooles and slaues,
An Armies maintenance, now begges for cromes, and raues
To see his sumptuous buildings, pastures, woodes,
That stood in vplands, dround in Rhenish floodes.
Plu.
Is here all?
Shac.
All! no, the Arch-helhoud's here.
Faulx Enters.
Plu.
What Peter Goner's this?
Fau.
Speake softly, within an inch of giuing fire, within an inch.
Shac.
Had all thy gray diuells in their highest lust sat,
M.
T' haue litterd furies, they could not haue begot.
Fau.
One to match this: ith' darke he groapd damnation,
Fau.
Now, now.
Shac.
Digd cellars to find where hel stood and has found it
There was but one villany vnborne, and he crownd it.
Fau.
So: all the billets lye close; glorious bonfire? ponti∣ficall
bonfire; braue heads to contriue this, gallant soules to
conspire in't, resolute hand to seale this with my blood,
through fire, through flint; ha, ha, ha, whither fly my selfe to
heauen, friends to honour, none to the halter, enemies to
massacre, ha ha, dismall tragicall Comedy now?
Plu.
What does he?
Shac.
As he thinkes, giuing fire to powder;
Nere in any land could diuels haue found, such walkes,
As he was beating out.
Plu.
His name.
Omn.
Guy Eaulx.
Fan.
Who cals? damnation stops throate.
3. Iud.
Let it stop thine.
Fau.
Am I betrayd? giue fire, now, now, giue fire.
Omn.
Te burne thine owne soule villaine.
Exit.
Plu.
Pay him his hire:
He has a desperate rakehels face.
Shac.
Had his plot tane fire,
One real me before any other had doomesday seene,
Kings who in tombes lay at rest had wakened beene,
He was within 12. howers of he wing downe
A whole land at one blow, and at once drowne
In a flood of flames, an Ark-roiall with his whole fleete,
Of nobilitie and clergy: in a leaden sheete
Law and her children had bin hotly wrap'd;
Millons ere this had in our iayle bin clap'd,
For damned Arts not known now, which had then
Bin rie, but now lye dead (th' Acts with the men.
Plu.
Make much of this our ningle: for the res
Deliuer'em to our head-hangman.
Omn.
When?
Omn.
When?
Plu.
In a twinckling.
Min:
How applaudes Pluto
Our enginous tortures, and most rigorous doome?
Plu.
Minos, thy doome is iust;—But your all-fac'de
Caiffs.)
What fih in your infernall Nets, Drew you vp
Ith Npls Court, and rierie?
We chard'de you saile thither: Is mischiefs Riuer there die?
Ruff:
Drie, No: Fat preyes for hell we all did meete,
In Court, Citie, Countrey, Nay, in euery streete,
In euery house, within-him, and without-him.
Hee that wore best cloathes, had some Diuell about him:
Courtiers from Naples hither in sholes are come,
Some for Ambition, for Flattery, and Enuie some:
Some, who (each meale) eate subicts vp, and wore,
Whole Families in their shoo-strings, such, and others more,
Being here, haue bene examining (euer since
They came) by Hells-clarke, (spotred-Conscience.)
Min:
Till the next Sessions, these wee must deferre.
Plu.
None come fro'th Citie, so many bad being there!
Lur:
Yes, (King of endles horror) see who's here: Barteruile
Plu:
Rich-mē in hel! they are welcom, whats the gray beard
Bar:
One that can buy thee and ten such as thou art out of
thy Sea-coale-pits ere. Is not this Newcastle?
Lur.
No couetous wretch: tis Hell, thy blacke-soules pri∣son.
Bar:
Soule in prison! I neuer had any soule to speake on.
Lur:
Now thou shalt finde th'ast one.
Rar:
Can Angells Bayle mee?
Min:
Not all the wealth which the worlds back does beare
Can Bayle thy wretched soule hence, No tis here.
Bar:
A thousand Pounds.—
Fur:
Where foole?
Rhad:
Thy wealths now gone,
Thy hands still catch at bags,, but they gripe none.
Bar:
Whats this?—
Omn:
Ha, ha, ha.
Aeac.
Ayre, shadowes, things Imaginary:
That is thy Torment now, which was thy Glory.
Bar:
If you giue me bags full of Saw-dust, in stead of mo∣ney,
my Ghost shall walke.
3. Iud:
To thy grim Father of Hell.
Bar.
No, to my olde brother, Syr Achiophell Pinch gut shall I: shall I?
Plu.
Hence with him the, Churl's mad:
In Lethes-flood drownd all the wealth hee had.
Bar.
My chaine, Let me hang in chaines, so it bee my
Golde chaine; Theeues, theeues, theeues.
—Exit.
Min.
Throwe him head-long into our boyling-Lake,
Where molten Golde unnes.
Lur.
His thirst it cannot slake,
Seas could not quench his dropsie: Golde to get
Hee would hang a Citie, statue a Countrey. Euen yet
Raues hee for Bonds and incombers: to saue whoe soule,
(Tho hee fed none liuing) Saw-sages were his dole.
A confused noyse to come pressing in.
Omn.
What coyle is that?
A Noise.
Enter a Ghoast, cole-blacke.
Pur.
Tis a burning zeale must consume the wicked, and
therefore I will not bee kept out, but will chastize and correct
the foule Fiend.
3. Iud.
Whats this blacke Incubus?
Shac.
An Arch great Puritane once.
Omn.
Ha! How! a Puritane?
Min.
An Arch-great Puritane! How comes thy soule so little▪
Pur.
I did exercise too much with a liuely Spirit.
Plu.
Are there any more of his Synagogue?
Ruff.
Yes, a whole Hoy-full are Landed.
Omn.
Ha!
Pl.
Are they all so blacke as he is?
Omn.
Worse.
Min.
Syrra, why being a Puritane is your soule so black?
Pur.
Wee were all smoakt out of our owne Countrey, and
sent to Rotterdam.
Min.
How camst thou lame and crooked, why do'st halt?
Pur.
All the brethren and sisters for the better part are
crooked, and halt: for my owne part, I neuer went vpright.
Iudg.
And yet a puaitane? hence with him.
Pur.
Alacke!
How can I choose but halt, goe lame, and crooked?
When I pulld a whole church downe vpon my backe.
Min.
Hence with him, he will pull all hell downe too.
A noise to come in.
Pur.
Let in the brethren, to confound this wicked assem∣bly,
3. Iud.
Thrust him out at hell gates.
Exit.
Plu.
Theile confound our kingdome,
If here they get but footing: rise therefore, away;
Keepe the Iurie of brokers till our next court day.
Min.
Adourne this.
Fur.
O yes! Sessions is deferd
Because of Puritanes, Hell cannot be cleerd.
Plu.
Set forward to our Hall paued all with brasse,
Iudges we thanke you: let our officers drinke,
I'th bottome of hells celler, for their good seruice.
Since to this heigth our Empyre vp you reare,
Hell hall hold umphes, and (thats don,) prepare,
Agen to walke your circuites o're the earth,
Soules are hells Subiects, and then grone our mirth.
FINIS.