The Knave in Grain, New Vamped <date type="creation_date">1640</date> anon. This text is one of some 500 EEBO-TCP transcriptions of Early Modern plays that have undergone several routines to create an interoperable and algorithmically amenable corpus of Early Modern Drama. Many incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words, as well as obvious printers' errors have been corrected, but the text has not been proofread word by word. See the editorial declaration further down in the header for more details about this edition. Martin Mueller Incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words were reviewed and in many cases fixed by Hannah Bredar Lydia Zoells Martin Mueller
Department of English Northwestern University Evanston IL 60208
Distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License 2015 SHC-164-A19750.xml The knave in graine, new vampt. A witty comedy, acted at at the Fortune many dayes together with great applause. Written by J.D. Gent. J. D., Gent. 45 600dpi TIFF G4 page images University of Michigan, Digital Library Production Service Ann Arbor, Michigan 2008 September (TCP phase 1) 99844839 STC (2nd ed.) 6174. Greg II, 580. 9685 A19750

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. Searching, reading, printing, or downloading EEBO-TCP texts is reserved for the authorized users of these project partner institutions. Permission must be granted for subsequent distribution, in print or electronically, of this text, in whole or in part. Please contact project staff at eebotcp-info@umich.edu for further information or permissions.

 The knave in graine, new vampt. A witty comedy, acted at at the Fortune many dayes together with great applause. Written by J.D. Gent. J. D., Gent. Day, John, 1574-1640?, [88] p. Printed by I[ohn] O[kes] and are to be sold by Iohn Nicholson at his shop under St. Martins Church neare Ludgate, London : 1640.

Sometimes attributed to John Day.

Printer's name from STC.

Signatures: [A]2 B-L4 M2.

Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery.

The goal of this project is

This text is derived from an EEBO-TCP text but has undergone additional curation. The following passage, quoted from the editorial declaration of the TCP header, summarize the TCP encoding and quality assurance practices, and define appropriate levels of expectation about TCP transcriptions:

EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org)...Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor.

The editorial work on this project has been done mainly by undergraduates, who have turned out to require very little training to become expert at identifying and fixing a high percentage of manifest textual defects. But each text will require editorial attention before it could be certified as a text that meets the standards one associates with a printed text good enough for many scholarly purposes. At the minimum, each text should be proofread against its printed source or a high-quality facsimile of it.

The texts were tokenized. Each token was wrapped in a w or pc element and assigned to a corpus-wide xml:id The tokens were linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. Each token was mapped to a lemma and a part of speech tag as lemma and ana attributes. The linguistic annotation has gone through several rounds of manual review. The estimated error rate is less than 2%. This annotation has gone

The structural elements div, sp, o , l, p, note were given xml:ids in the form of a simple numerous currens incrementing by 10.

sp elements were marked with a who attribute consisting of the filename of the TCP text and a lower-case spelling of the name or role, e.g. "A00960-eustace". The who attributes map to map to the role_ids of an algorithmically produced castlist that gives the count of the number of speech elements for each character

The TCP transcriptions ignored linebreaks but marked hyphenated words as well as words split across lines without a hyphen. In this version such hyphen markers have been tacitly removed unless there was clear evidence that the word was a hyphenated word.

Incompletely and incorrectly transcribed or printed words were corrected without distinguishing between printer's or transcriber's errors. But all changes from the spellings that occur in the TCP text have been logged in something like an apparatus criticus at the end of each text.

Variant spellings have been mapped to standard forms using the Oxford English Dictionary as a guide. Spellings have been standardized rather than modernized. Thus 'louyth' has been mapped to 'loveth' rather than 'loves'. The capitalization of standardized spellings has followed modern rules. The original and standardized spellings appear in the text as alternate orig and reg children of the choice element. This makes it easy to switch between a display in original or standardized spelling.

A few typographical and orthographic features have been tacitly standardized. All instances of long 's' have been mapped to the modern form. The character 'Ʋ' (\u01b2), has been mapped to 'V'. A number of printers' abbreviations, captured in the original SGML transcriptions as character entities, have been tacitly resolved to the spellings they represent--ee.g cum&abque; > 'cumque'. In some very early texts 'the' ,'that', and 'thou' are represented as 'y' followed by a superscripted 'e', 't', or 'u'. They have been tacitly resolved to 'the', 'that' and 'thou'. The same policy has been followed for the rarer instances of 'with' or 'which' spelled as 'w' followed by a superscripted 't' or 'c'. The decorations of initial characters have been ignored.

The following tagsDecl includes a few unconventional rendition elements. Some of the printers' typographical choices as well as the TCP encoding practices with regard to them are not easily squared with the requirements of a tokenized and linguistically annotated text. For that reason hi tags and superscript notations have been expressed as rendition attributes of w elements. They are parked at the lowest level of the encoding and may be respected, ignored, or replaced. Many hi elements could be retagged as name or foreign elements or as elements with appropriate xml:id or rendition, e.g. <stage rendition="italics">. The use of rendition in this project is not lossy with regard to the TCP encoding, but the TCP encoding is purposely lossy and often ambiguous with regard to the typographical detail of the source texts.

text tagged with hi element in TCP source, which is usually but not always italic text in the source a hi child element of hi in the TCP source, usually not text in italics A single token, the second part of which, marked by a hyphen or other symbol, has a hi tag in the source the first part of a token is tagged with hi in TCP, as in the genitive case of a name or a hyphenated word in which the first part is a name The last letter of a token is superscripted the last two letters of a token are superscripted The last four letters of a token are superscripted The last three letters of a token are superscripted A brevigraph in which an initial 'w' followed 't' or 'c' stands for 'with' or 'which' 'y' for 'th' where it is preceded by 'e', 't' or 'u' standing for 'the', 'that', or 'thou' The last letter of a token is superscripted in a token that is a hi child of a hi element The last two letters of a token are superscripted in a token that is a hi child of a hi element Incorporated ~ 10,000 textual changes made to the SHC corpus by Hannah Bredar, Kate Needham, and Lydia Zoells between April and July 2015 during visits, separately or together, to the Bodleian, Folger and Houghton Libraries as well as the Rare Book Libraries at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago

The Knave in Graine , New Vampt . A witty Comedy , Acted at the Fortune many dayes together with great Applause . Written by J. D. Gent.

LONDON : Printed by J. O. and are to be sold by John Nicholson at his Shop under St. Martins Church neare Ludgate . 1640 .

To the Generous Reader .

COurteous Reader , the ancient Latin Adage is , Sultorum , but I say Nebulonum plena sunt omnia , Knaves be about all persons , and in all places . There are twelve Coat-Cards in the bunch , of which foure are Knaves , Heart , Diamond , Spade , Club , suiting with the foure C C C C : Court , City , Country , Campe : My purpose is not to touch any in particular ; onely thus much of them in generall : some are notable , some notorious , some pimping , some panderly Knaves ; some prating , some pestilent ; some cousening , some cunny-catching Knaves . There are also lazy and lying , base , and deboist , fantasticall , foolish , and false Knaves . To these we may adde Hereticall and Hypocriticall , schismaticall , and separisticall Knaves : not forgetting perjur'd , and shamelesse ; impudent , and informing ; arrogant , and arrant Knaves , Cum multis alijs . And besides these , I have heard of a Knave Tapster , a Knave Ostler , a Knave Serjeant , and a Knave Broker : but with these we have nothing to doe at this time ; onely with a Knave in graine , or a Knave new vampt , in decyphering of whom , I give all the rest this Caveat , Have amongst you my Masters : And now if any of the rest shall finde himselfe touch't , hee hath his mends in his owne hands , for he cannot say but I gave him faire warning . And so much of the Argument , the Act followes .

The Actors Names . IVlio the Knave in grain . Franciscus a Merchant of Venice . Chrisipus Father to Cornelia . Thomaso . Lodwicke . Gentlemen . Stultissimo a humerous gentleman . Fub his man . Arbaces a Senator of Venice . Antonio his sonne . Vallentius a gentleman . A Hermite . A Doctor . A Divine . A gentleman with him . Duke of Venice . Two Senators . A Guard . A Drawer . The Bread and Meatman . A Mercer and his man . A Barber . Two Serjeants . A Carman . A rabble of Boyes and others . Two men . A Country fellow . Cornelia wife to Franciscus . Phemone her sister . Monkey the Knaves wife . Pusse the Bawd . Doctors Wife .
The Knave in Graine ; OR New Vampt .
Actus primus . Scena prima . Enter Julio and Monkey . Iulio .

WHy how now Puss , what ayles my Monkie to chatter out of tune thus ?

Monk.

A whoreson sencelesse Coxcombe — but I am glad th'art come , I long for a pottle of wine and a Capon .

Iulio .

Good provision for the present Monkie , but viderit futuritas , in the meane time , who layes up for futurity ? Come you raise foure hundred per annum , out of pottles of Wine and Capons ?

Monk.

Yes my Granado , in this qualitie : they that come short of my breeding have don't . The first credit I wonne was in a Garrison .

Iulio .

In Holland .

Monk.

No ; and yet in the low Countries : I never sate foot in a leaguer yet .

Iulio .

The reason of that ?

Monk.

My hard fate nothing else , having as much impudence , and as many wayes to manage it , receiving weekly Corantoes from Paris , Roterdam , and Flushing , and having trade too in Middleborough , I have beene house Lecturer three yeares together , and read Aretine , both in print and picture , and that is much for one of my yeares .

Iulio .

'T may be thou wantst acquaintance .

Monk.

No such matter , the old Exchange , the new Burse , and new Town , afford plenty ; not a Prentice that can cry Bawd , nor a Butchers Dog that can say bow wow , but is of my acquaintance .

Iulio .

Yet it may be they are precise , and will not be seen in't .

Monk.

That I know not , but most sure , I have feasted the Liberty twice at mine owne charge , and helpt their wives and daughters to the earning of many a fair pound : they will be seen in that .

Iulio .

Well , I am sure I have furnish'd thy Library with all books of behaviour , and tables of entertainment .

Monk.

And I have cull'd out all my phrases as curiously & stuck my language with such inticing conveniences : and for intelligence , all the lawn women , lace women , box women , and to come nearer to the businesse , very haire women , perriwig women , and candied Elicumpany lick halbars , come in twice a week like decoy Ducks , with whole sholes at the taile of them .

Iulio .

Why , then there's a fault in your company .

Monk.

I , I , that villanous company undoes all , Ther's Lodowick Tomaso Vallentine , high talkers , and deepe drinkers , but they have wit in their wine , and too much honesty in their actions at all time , there's only on Gentleman —

Iulio .

Stultissimo of a plain cut and square size , he runs just as you throw him ; rub him a little against the grain now , and he will come off a great deal the smoother . You would not thinke , what charitable benefactours three or foure such plush Colonels would be to the founding of a new honour .

Monk.

But hast thou such a purpose , indeed ?

Iulio .

Why should not I have purpose and effect as much as any : A leager , yes , so it lay in the Ile of plentie ; Ide dig through the Alpes with Haniball , and fetch Theseus from Hell , with Hercules purpose and practice , my precious Monkie , tis done .

Bawd .

And shall I come to the honour to write Mistris of the Leaguer .

Iulio .

Shall not bate an accent of that title my Catamptiall Monky , but you must look out for Spiders Monky , and the Sprall of all foure Puzz : I have laid the foundation in gold already .

Monk.

Hast had a good return of thy Rings chuck ?

Iulio .

Rings hangum , they are as stale as Scotch Lanson , Or as your Decoy ,

No , I have sent um out in a desperat venture to Cape .

No Monkie , my old friend Franciscus hath repaired my Jacket already , & has promised to new thatch my outside too .

One of these boxes has 100 pieces of new gold ,

With chains and keyes correspondent .

Monk.

For what use Chick ?

Iulio .

For a dead lift Monkie : a Leaguer cannot be planted , mann'd , victuall'd and munition'd with a small Magazine : to work Monkie , a mouzing Puss , make choice of your company , admit no parley with the popular , be high and proud of thy selfe , and let those that will needs buy thee , pay soundly for thee with a pox to um , Puss a wink to the wise , you know my minde , let's have no more midnight catterwowlings under Sale-mens shop windows , Vintners dark cellers , no Justices long Entries , but beare up your selfe so civill and so meager ,

You may be stilde a sister of the Leaguer .

Enter Dulciflora a Whore , and Mistris Durable a Bawd , old Signior Stultissimo a foolish Gentleman , and Fub. Whore .

Away you Rogue .

Stult.

As I am a Gentleman body and soule Ile break your windowes .

Fub.

Master , as you are a man stand and tickle her .

Whore .

Will you , you Rascall .

Bawd .

Ah , sweet heart , prethee good woman .

Fub.

Nay , let her come Ile give her hert belly full .

Stult.

Let her alone Fub : let her alone , by this hand , Ile make the boyes maule her Ruffs .

Whore .

Fie how I am tyred a whorson stinking shamleg'd , Fie , fie , fie , use a Gentlewoman thus in her own lodging .

Bawd .

How does your back , O the Fucas , out alas , here's half a Crown in Complexion utterly cast away .

Whore .

If I be not even with the Rutter —

Bawd .

If hee come where you have to doe , let him pay soundly .

Whore .

A plague upon his Asses eares , by my Virginity , Ile send his beard into New-found-land for this .

Bawd .

And so I would , to make lines to catch Cods : out , out , out , a Gentleman , and use a woman no otherwise ; yfaith , yfath , it stands not with his reputation .

Whore .

A whorson smelt : Mistris Durable , I would I had some of your aqua vitae , I'me sick after the conflict .

Bawd .

And shall good woman , come , come , pray keep your self warme .

Enter Franciscus , and Julio , Julio very poore . Fran.

Forsake me honour , when I doe forget the bond of friendship , let not poverty , no , nor your fathers haviour Julio : though our Venetian law proved him a Traitor : come plucke away your interest from my breast : when we were pupills in the Academy , I was Franciscus and your fellow then ; I am Franciscus and your fellow still , nor can be altered : I have now a heart as free from pride , as when I clipt thee thus , before thou knew'st the taste of poverty , or I prosperity . Thinke not ancient friend I can forget thee , though thy need were such as beggery despis'd .

Iulio .

The liberall hand of heaven reward your love , or lend my wishes that ability to thank you in requitall .

Fran.

Amen to that and more .

I tell thee Iulio , I am not happier in my vertuous wife : and yet that's greater than yielding thee reliefe tis all that good men wish : Why have we wealth bestow'd on us , but to returne the same , where stern necessity pinches the ribs of him or her that wants ? it has no other worth , no more esteeme of me . Heap it together while the , massie weight e'ne crack , what bears it lesse than dust ? on dust deserves no more regard . I have a Wife , Nurse , and mother , all she is in one ; yet one deserves more Titles , besides her feature , which may make compare with those that boast of parts : she is so kinde , that many millions may be stampt againe , ere one so perfect currant . She is worth more than the earth is : but she is my wife , and I will cease her praise : you know her father when you have his name : hee is called Chrisippus , many stile him good , and wish all Venice such .

Julio .

Ere I was banish'd for my fathers fact , my knowledge coated , and all Italy , spoke of a Damosell called Cornelia , this good Chrisippus daughter .

Enter Chrisippus , Cornelia , Anthonio , Tomaso , Phemono , Stultissimo , and Fub. Fran.

She is that jewell , that unmatched , thing I made my boast of : That Cornelia is none but mine , I dare boldly say , and eke affirme it : See my Julio , she meets us unexpected , and comes to hinder what I would speake more , in cause of her demerit , modesty , and sweetnesse .

Chris.

Franciscus : sonne !

Fran. My Love and duty make me ever such . To all this company a happy houre . Corn.

You have bin mist Franciscus .

Fran.

You have beene mist Cornelia .

Corn.

Where ?

Fran.

Where ere I have bin , this is my friend , tender him your welcome with as good respects as I my selfe where he .

Corn.

Sir , bid your own welcome , and command as much as all we have , were yours .

Iulio

Your courtesies to one so throng'd in misery As my selfe , dulls my behaviour , that I know not how Enough to laud or thanke you .

Fran.

You shall exchange your habit :

Phemone , sister , Anthonio —

Whispers . Anth.

We mist you yester night .

Fran. I durst not come believe it : Vallentius for sayes rowses are too great , They make me quake to see 'em . How fares my cousen Lodwick ? Anth.

He spoyld our sport : he was not well he said :

I would you had beene there : Tomaso pledg'd you twice .

Fran.

I thank his love .

Tom.

It is not worth it Sir .

Stult.

Yfaith Nephew I was extream drunke , aske my man Fub else , he'le tell you what a coyle he had with me : the rarest lest yfaith : prethee tell 'em how thou foundst me underneath the staires .

Fub.

By no meanes , 'twill make 'em drunk to heare it .

Enter Arbaces Anthonios Father . Cris.

Signior Arbaces you are the man I wisht for .

Arb.

Well met Gentlemen : are you here Antonio ?

Cris.

Cornelia .

Corn.

Sir .

Cris. No , tis no matter . Tomaso you shall do't , Goe see nothing want ; you are all my guests , you dine with Me that's certaine : Nay , I will not be deny'd : Most welcome Sir to you : will you walke ? Fran.

Ever , ever welcome .

Exeunt . Manet Stultissimo and Fub. Fub.

Will you walk sir ? will you munch ?

Stult.

Sirrah Fub , thou wouldst not think how sore my head is , ever since I had the knock with the Ladle ?

Fub.

I believe you : will you feed sir ?

Stult.

No more i'th' Ladle . Me thinkes I am pocky melancholy here of late .

Fub.

So I ghest , ever since you knew the Gentlewoman that beate you .

Stult.

Thou sayest true , ever since yfaith .

Fub.

Why she is able to make any body pocky melancholy . But would you would snap a bit sir .

Stult.

I love her I cannot tell how : yfaith and I were well search'd , I think I am little kin to a Spannell , the more I am beaten , the better I affect .

Fub.

Would I were sure of that .

Stult.

Well , she shall heare from me in some Sonnet or Ditty ; some rare thing of mine owne invention , and that speedily : Let me see to what tune shall I have it ?

Fub.

And if you please , let it goe to the Punkes delight ; 'tis your onely sweet tune : for women doe love the Punks delight .

Stultis.

By this hand gramercy ; they doe indeed , thou canst sing if need be .

Fub.

I can make a scurvy shift : But to say truth I am no good Querister .

Stult.

But canst thou doe well and scurvily ?

Fub.

After my manner .

Stult.

Would I might be hang'd presently , but methinkes I am a piece of a Poet already , there's such a whistling in my pate .

Fub.

That's nothing but your conceit sir .

Stult.

Conceit merrily : O that my love were any thing but woman .

Fub.

O that your love were any thing but Common : then might she be . —

Stu.

What might she be .

Fub.

Nay what you wil yfaith .

Stu.

Ile to't while tis hot , I know I'me in an excellent vein .

Fub.

Pricke it quickly then :

But Harke you Signior , shall you not need my helpe ?

Stult.

I defie't , It shall be all mine own , I cannot abide , tis the scurviest thing to rob others of their wit , good or bad , it shall flow from mine own sweet brain .

Fub.

I believe youle finde the tyde turn'd , tis ebbing water there , would I might be begg'd , as hee had like to have been , if his foolery do not vex my discretion , but hee gives me means , and I could do little if I could not smile .

Exeunt . Enter Lodowick and Vallentius . Lod.

Well Vallentius , and you be caught ith' purlues : and you be not stung for't Ile forsweare privacie , and all that belongs too't , I have a Girle , the very spirit of what she was made for , and she were honest , she might crave supremacie of Hellen , and make her ride behinde .

Vallen.

And I love one were she not honest , that's her only fault , shee were a Paragon unparalleld , mingle all beautie that our Venice yields , and set her self aside , she would stand peerlesse , over-shine them all , and dimme the Artists cunning .

Lod.

Is she a woman ?

Vall.

Yes , but such a one no voluntary habit , nor slie drift with all accommodations that beseemes , unblemisht truth it selfe can bring to speech or give my thoughts accesse .

Lod.

What is she for a Saint , that stands in the how faire and beautifull : may one of my birth intreat her name and knowledge ?

Vall.

Vow your assistance to my purposes , and I a Traitour to my selfe reveale the treason of my minde .

Lod.

Give me your hand , I am yours for better or worse , in all causes , all adventures , my sword and selfe vow fealty : Is she a wife ?

Vall.

I , would she were not .

Lod.

Know you Vanderman our great Physician .

Vall.

What , my fretfull Doctour ? the only curer of mad folks ; Know I my selfe ?

Vall.

You know hee's married .

Lod.

Yes , and what of this ( oh would you be ministring therein . ) I have you my deare Flora , well take my word shee's thine .

Vall.

I would that I were hers .

Lod.

Why it lyes in thine own choice .

Vall.

But setting all this pleasantnesse aside , in earnest Lodowick I affect her so , no motive mean nor yet dire accident can change my stedfast will , I must enjoy her , or I must not live .

Lod.

Thou shalt enjoy her , or I will not live .

Vall.

You speak like a friend .

Lod.

I speak like what I am , a Christian , and by that Epethite , I meant as much as I speake , nor could I thinke , Vallentius , you of all the men alive , would have mistaken mee .

Vall.

In any kinde but this I never had : pardon me Lodowick this doting loves beares such a jealous sway , the least suspition puts us on the wracke , and breaks all chaines of duty : You may perswade me to believe , but yet he that never saw a Vessell under sayle , cannot imagine what the Seaman brooks , the Merchant sleeping on his downey Cowch , nere dreams what danger the bold Souldier dures , and he that never felt the pangs of Hell , cannot report the torments : assure thee Lodowick so be satisfied , since I knew her , I have not known my selfe , so mighty is loves extreams .

Lod.

Tis strange .

Vall.

She troth plight was to me , and had been mine , had not desire of pelfe alter'd her friends , and I dare well vow she loved me once , what ere her minde be now .

Lod.

Come be rul'd by mee , thou shalt set thy toe in the Doctors stirrop , ride and go a foot at thy pleasure : did shee love thee once ?

Vall.

I had her oath .

Lod.

Go to , renew thy suite , the fire is not all out , stir up the ashes , and thou dost not finde some embers , that will both glow and warme , pawn me for butter'd Sack , and let me never be worthy redemption .

Val.

I want the means .

Lod.

Think not of that , tis here my Flora , what man ? he's not the first Doctor has worn a corner Cap : come , will you be merry Vallentius , and youle forsake not this mood , I renounce society .

Val.

I am yours , obedient as your hand .

Lod.

Follow me then , and I drive not this melancholly fit out of thee , Ile never trust my conceit : what , ho Damazella ? Knocks , and Clarislona looks out at the window .

Whore .

Whose there ?

Lod.

He's here that should be here , come down ?

Whore .

Lodowick .

Lod.

Yes .

Val.

What's she .

Lod.

The commodity I told you of , there's a Gentleman a friend of yours in love with her .

Val.

Not your selfe .

Lod.

No faith , though you shall heare her sweare as much , tis our rich heire Signior Stultissimo .

Val.

What , the Foole ?

Lod.

That morsell of mans flesh , shee cannot beat him away , he haunts the Eves like a Sparrow in March , you may hunt flies from honey sooner then him out of her company : now Mistris how stands things with you , when did you play with your fools bable ?

Whore .

Youle never leave this .

Lod.

Bid my friend welcome .

Val.

I thank you Lady .

Lod.

Come kisse me ?

Whore .

Will you stay all night ?

Lod.

Yes , when I am weary of strength , and foes with my back .

Whore .

Yfaith Lodowick , you must leave this ?

Lod.

So I will .

Whore .

When ?

Lod.

When thou leav'st thy trade ?

Whore .

Will you sup here ?

Lod.

Yes drink , nothing else .

Whore .

Lord , how wise your grown ?

Lod.

So I were , if I could keep out of your company .

Whore .

Fie , your'e to uncourteous Lodwick : nay , he's ever thus , but tis my fault .

Lod.

Marry mend it then for shame .

Whore .

Where's my Bracelet , which of your Truls has that ?

Lod.

Shall I be true to thee ?

Whore .

Your'e nere true to me .

Lod.

I mean honest .

Whore .

I care not for your honesty .

Lod.

I believe that too , but in plain verity . Your bracelet embraces my horses main .

Whore .

Come , you jest .

Lod.

No good troth .

Whore .

Sweare you , I hope you make a difference between your horse and me .

Lod.

Faith but little : and yet your'e both good bearers .

Val.

By the bright Sun you wrong her : weepe not faire one .

Lod.

What , shall we have tricks ?

Enter Julio . Val.

You are too blame beshrow me .

Lod.

Now , when , what needs all this , nay , and you powt farewell .

Val.

As I am a Gentleman you part not so .

Whore .

Sweet , Lodwick .

Lod.

Hum , why was not this before , I have seene the Beares .

Val.

Do not I know your woman ?

Enter the Bawd . Bawd .

Hist , hist , Are you the man of War ?

Lod.

Nay , you must draw neerer , if youle have your Embassie answered : how ist Mistris Durable ?

Bawd .

How do you Master Lodowick ?

Lod.

The worse for you , and your creatures .

Bawd .

It's a good hearing .

Lod.

Shall I have three or foure words in private ?

Whore .

Not with her unlesse I participate .

Bawd .

Whats the matter ?

Whore .

Yonder's Fub , the parties man you wot on has somthing under hand and seale .

Bawd .

For me .

Whore .

So he gives out .

Bawd .

You may admit him .

Whore .

Rest you merry Gentlemen .

Enter Fub. Lod.

Whose this secret party , this conceal'd Champion , What have ye here , Signior Stultissimoes man ?

Fub.

All haile .

Vall.

This fellow would keep a vilde coyle if hee were a top ath' tiles .

Fub.

Gentiles , good speed .

Lod.

What , the Plough ?

Fub.

No , you , and you please , Marona to your self .

Lod.

This fellows discreet .

( gives a paper ) Whore .

To me .

Fub.

So sayes his backside .

Enter Julio . Iulio

You the man of War , or more properly Pirat , that gave summons to the leaguer .

Lod.

Leager , Sir .

Iulio .

Leager , Sir , the report of your Pot-guns cannot make us hang up a white flag .

Toma.

The skirt of a clean smock's more proper ath' two .

Iulio .

Wee come not to learne whats proper of you , Monkie , and catch flies .

Lod.

Play at his foolery , come hither Punck .

Iulio .

Sir , y'are uncivill , she's none ; nor this a Bawdy house ; but a Leaguer of gentle entertainment .

Lod.

The fellow dreames : Come wake and be thy selfe .

Iulio .

My selfe ? Would you were as sure your selves as I am .

Tom.

A what ?

Iul. I'de faine know that of you : But I advise you to take councell of your best judgment first , Your words will be questioned . Lodw.

Question that dares , th'art an arrant Cheater .

Iulio .

Tis not your pare royall of plush Coxecombes can secure you in't .

Lodo.

Valiant a the suddaine too .

Iulio . Not suddainly neither : The growth has both time and sufficient temper . Why I a Cheater ? let any impartiall — Ride Circuit , and sit in judgement of us all , And shew any reason either in Art or Nature , Why I a Cheater more than any of you . Lod.

Thou hast nothing but a little wit to live upon .

Iulio . That's endowment enough for a Gentleman : I ever shall count him the nobler gentleman That makes himselfe a fortune in the world , than he That brings it into the world with him . Tom.

Suppose this granted : yet why this a Leaguer ?

Julio .

I want words for you : onely for conclusion , one out of a strange affected carriage has gathered an admirable method of drilling , and training men from the flying of Cranes : Another rare order and government of Common-wealths , from the poore labour of the Bee : And I out of this Leaguer —

Lodo.

Will extract certaine wayes and carriages for Cheaters and Libertines .

Iul.

Twere not from my purpose if I granted that to . Lycurgus was the first Law-maker ; and the best Law that ever he made , was a provision or maintenance for Cheats , as you call em , and Fellons ( viz. ) That he ( without exception of age , quality , or condition ) which could doe the most high dainty , and dangerous peece of Felony , and come cleare off , should be preferred to the most eminent place of office in the State ; but if he failed , he was then to receive Martiall Law .

Lodo.

Strange course , pick Officers out of Fellons .

Iulio .

'Tis a kind of Meslin or mingled graine still . How much of the poores money was found in one of the Churchwardens purchase last day ?

Lod.

None I thinke .

Iulio .

How many theeves horses have bin watered at the High Constable of the hundreds watring trough within this tenne yeares ?

Tom.

I think not any .

Julio .

It may be so : But I am sure , I have heard , or read , or something , that a new Chiefe Justice of some place , or a better man wo'd not ha made very nice to bid a fat purse to breakfast with him if he light upon it soundly : so that it is not so much the Art to know , as the government to dispose : that quallifies the man .

Lodo.

He sayes true : all times ha' bin guilty of good fellowship , why not this ? I like the Leaguer now so well , I care not if I buy a place of command in it my selfe .

Julio . Why now you come to me , That's the Pearle I ha' div'd for all this while : I have a catalogue of names , places , and prizes . A cup of entertainment for my friend . Welcome to the new Leaguer . Lodo. We'le pledge , we'le pledge : Victual'd and Win'd already ? Iulio .

To the Society at the Swan two pottles and a halfe : Monkey the health ; these are my noble & prime visitants ; the boxes I gave you to lay up .

Lod.

How now Iulio , gold ?

Tom.

By this light , and the most curious .

Iul.

A poore Grannams gift gentlemen : 300 peeces , or such a taste , partly induction to a businesse , or so . There's a Burdeaux Merchant in Towne now , would lay me between wind and water this twelve month , but the spite is , I am tyed not to part with this gold for ever : if I knew where to borrow but halfe the worth on't —

Lodw. Halfe the worth ? Ile vow to lend the full worth , If that will pleasure thee . Iulio .

You shall keepe the gold under locke and key for your pawne .

Lod.

Thou shalt not want for such a courtesie to doe thee good : Ime glad th'art so thriving .

Tom.

Lock up the boxe , and keep the key ; there's the full summe .

Iulio .

To a Piece I assure you : you shall see else agen .

Lod. No more , no more trouble : Let me see for how long ? Iulio . Three Moneths , not a day longer : Nay sooner if mony chance to come in afore : I have offices in my Leaguer stand upon Fortunes hill . 'Vds me Signior Stultissimo promised Me a courtesie last night : Monkey .

Assure thee sweet chuck he'le not faile thee .

Iulio . I believe thee without an oath : Make my friend welcome to the Leaguer Monkey : As soone as I have dispatch'd my voyage To the Canaries , I am for you agen Lads . Whor.

Gentlemen , who can read ?

Lod.

Who cannot ?

Fub. I can resolve you : She cannot . Lod. What's here ? Opprobrious Saint , and most Angellicke fiend , Ere I begin , thus doe I make an end . Lod. I should have beene sorry else : Nay silence , or the Proclamation's lost . And if thy heart be not patcht up in Marble , Harke how my pen does in thy prayses warble . Val.

O deare Apollo , how art thou abus'd , Is there more ?

Sweet stinging Waspe , and well conceited Dove ; For beauty nice , intituled Queen of love Of me ; Sir reverence ; that doe's thee adore ; Which art esteem'd a good one and no more : Let reason rule thy Amazonian fist , Let ladle rude be thrown at hady wist , So shall I love thee , take it for no fable Better then well , and more then I am able . Yours despite your guts . S. S. Lod.

Asse , Asse .

Val.

The Authours name .

Lod.

Cannot you get her Signior Stultissimo ?

Val.

O , lamentable complaint !

Lod.

As ever poore man heard .

Whore .

Will he take no warning .

Val.

Is this a Challenge ?

Lod.

Fie no , they are too violent to come in rime .

Whore .

Lodowick , is not this your practice ?

Lod.

Why , dost thou think me so simple , so ridiculous .

Fub.

No , Ile assure you , It's a token of good will of my Masters , there's no brain guilty ont but his own : if you like it you may , and you will not , the laws in your own hands , you may choose .

Whore .

Good Gentlemen return the Carrier .

Lod.

What ? a cuffe or a knock .

Fub.

Hee has penn'd a Song too , which I should have tickled , if I had not been hoarse with drinking Flap-Dragons last night .

Lod.

Whats thy name ?

Fub.

Fub .

Lod.

Prethee honest Fub , tickle thy selfe out of our companies , weele be Fubb'd no longer .

Fub.

Will not you be Fubb'd Sir .

Lod.

Thou knowest my resolution .

Fub.

Nay , but will ye not indeed ?

Lod.

No faith .

Fub.

I am glad I know't , — be with you .

Exit . Lod.

Have you any wine ith' house ?

Whore .

Yes dearest .

Enter Julio . Lod.

Come , a pox a these devices , hang off : will you drink Vallentius ?

Val.

Will I live ?

Lod.

Where's the Matron ?

Whore .

The Matron , Lord , you're the strangest man . —

Lod.

Your Matron Grandum , what will you have it , your Bawd ?

Whore .

I must be quiet .

Val.

Nay , enter , enter .

Exeunt omnes . Enter Julio , very brave , solus . Julio .

The easie time , and such as thrive in it , favour my wishes , the ignorant whose sole dependance is on veritie , and carry conscience in their timorous brests , are not associates meet for Iulio . Those that neere knew the straine of Policie , nor ayme at more , then what may well content , draw not my length , the way to prosper , the directest course such are my sore necessities , is to get liking of this lovely Maid Franciscus sister , bright Phemone , the Virgin's modest , chast , and debonaire , besides her brother's rich , there hang my hopes , but shee affects not mee , all her desires are on young Anthonios , rich Arbaces sonne , my friend ( suppos'd ) at least , but that is breath ; by what man has , or can have , he's my foe that hinders my designe , where hee my next of bloud , that shall he finde : the meane to purchase what I reach at now , there is but only one , one only meane that can supplant him , here it lies shall doo't , were hee as deare in estimation as Nisus to Eurialus .

I love my selfe , I count him still most wise , That cares not who's thrown down so he arise .
Actus secundus . Scena prima . Enter Franciscus and Julio . sound Musick . Fran.

THou hast to say somthing , yet nothing I hope triviall , by our known affection I beseech thee , speak what thou canst .

Iulio .

I would I had embraced my povertie , while the pale Moone has residence in heaven , would I had beene deafe .

Fran.

Whereto tends this speech if I thought my fault , or any ones pertain'd to mee , through wilfull negligence , or otherwise , to breed the occasion of this passionate mood , I should condemne the cause of the offence , and deeme my self unhappy .

Iulio .

Can heaven suffer it ?

Fran,

What , what does heaven suffer , speak my Iulio ?

Iulio .

Too much of ill .

Fran.

Let me know that ill , and I rest satisfied .

Iulio .

Pray no more , the malady is mortall , unsanctified , monstrous . Anthonio is there such a man ?

Fran.

Many that weare that name in Italy : but one amongst that many known to me .

Iulio .

Hate all the name .

Fran.

Pardon Iulio , Ile hate my selfe first .

Julio .

Anthonio is a Villain .

Fran,

Blot not the reputation of his youth with such calumnie , he is no way such , but as unblemisht , as the snow before it touch the Mountains .

Iulio .

He's a Villain .

Fran.

Villain never had so faire an out-side , nor yet heart so just as that he carries .

Iulio .

He's a Villain .

Fran.

I have some businesse at the Port , youle sup with me to night .

Iulio .

Doe you love your selfe , do you love honour , do you love your wife ?

Fran.

I do .

Iulio .

Then hate that Anthonio .

Fran.

Give me to understand , since you will force me to endure your report , wherein hee's culpable , or does deserve these ignominious titles .

Iulio .

He loves not you .

Fran.

Tis not my fault .

Iulio .

He wrongs your sister .

Fran.

Therein , he's too blame .

Julio .

He loves your wife .

Fran.

That amends , quits all his former wrongs .

Iulio . Can you beare it thus , wink Vulcan then , And let the god of Warre , throw up her skirts agen . Fran.

How's this ?

Julio .

You will not understand ; Ile speak no further .

Fran.

Come , come , my wife is honest .

Julio .

Yes .

Fran.

If she be , tis nothing you have said , Ile heare no more ; begon .

Julio .

Will you list a word , Anthonio wrongs you .

Fran.

Wrong me , and if he would he cannot .

Julio .

He playes the Parasite , the officious Asse to vaile his sinne .

Fran.

Would I might understand you ?

Iulio .

The Serpent tempts your wife , these eares and eyes can testifie ; for your sister , she's stale : his excuse , whereby hee cloakes his vice .

Fran.

I wish you Iulio , to know what you speak .

Iulio .

I am not mad , I love you , tis my love , you are my father .

Fran.

I pray be advised , consider what you do ? speak not this no report , be certain ; do not abuse my patience . Tempt my wife , rent earth , and swallow falshood .

Iulio .

Will you be moved Pernassus , the two topt , forked Mount ?

Fran.

My bloud is not mine own , I want command of all that now obeyed me , how different are my fits ? I am now a congealed , kneaded cake of ice , bound from all motion , now again ( mee thinks ) a flaming Iland , a Vesuvius Hill , meerly combustion .

Iulio .

Forget not , sir , your patience .

Fran.

Tell me of patience when I am my selfe : how did he tempt her , how did she accord on thy reputation ?

Iulio .

I would I had been dumbe ?

Fran.

Hang not ith' winde , ( delay does torture ) answer me as how ?

Iulio .

Kinde , sir , recall your wonted manhood ?

Fran.

Answer me how .

Iulio .

I pray pardon me .

Fran.

What ? strike and cry mercie , I must be resolved , thou hast flung me ith' fire , even in the Oven , the mouth of Aetna , nothing thou coulst have said , nothing have done , could have assured like torture .

Iulio .

Would , when I saw him kisse her , crush her hand , wink and laugh out , use his undecent language : Fie , fie .

Fran.

Cornelia false , the floud may come agen , nothing impossible , kisse , and crush hands , wink , wink heaven and all above .

Iulio .

Kind , sir .

Fran.

Beare witnesse , all that good are , how deare , how deare , I held that most false man : set him here , here , even on the spire and pinacle of my heart ; my life was his , and all that I call mine , but her he has abused ?

Iulio .

Deare friend , do not forget your name , these are but likelihoods , farre from the thing it selfe , and say he be a Villaine , as no doubt he's little better in his rude exposures : she may be honest .

Fran. No Julio , no , had she meant well , She would have warnd me of his foule attempts , Said such , and so's his haviour . When she was loyall , as sure one shee was , ( If ever any was ) no accident how vaine So e're it seemed , but she a woman , would unfold Her sexe , and say 'twas thus , and thus . Iulio .

I have stroke him through .

Fran. Treble abuse : Deflowred my wife , abused me , Disgraced my sister ; throwne infamy On all our heads at once : What beast uncivill bred , Amongst carelesse Monsters ( but thee Antonio ) Would have beene kickt on to that damned enterprise ? That I had patience ; me thinks thou shouldst not Be the Villaine yet , report does speake thee . Iulio .

Nay gentle friend .

Fran. Tis true , 'tis true . Had any 'twixt the North and Southerne Pole Spoke these words but hee , it had not beene , And he had falsely lyed . This is a Creature I have rais'd , reviv'd , Snatch'd from destructions teeth , Incorporated to me , so deare and just , as not A thing in all the world can be more truer to it selfe And certaine : but his modesty conceales it , Could write a Volume of their loath'd designes , And curse the stories cause . O false Cornelia ! Julio . Remember what you are . Fran. Remembrance burst ! There's no contemplation , nothing what ere can Drive the thought of shame out of my mind : Would I had never knowne discretion , Could never have made distinctions of persons , And harmlesse Creatures ; hence forth be ignorance : Mother of Nations and Vnderstanding perish : Faire , foule Cornelia . The blue fac'd Occan , nor her fertile wombe , that yields Vs all increase , nourishes none so false as woman : Traytors have they been since their first being , And betray'd poore man e're he beheld himselfe . Cornelia can it be thou art a Strumpet ? Oh , oh , fury finish that , burnes thee to Cynders . Exit . Iulio . Worke on , worke on : Fate lifts me to the seat of my desires ; And I am prosperous and happy . This Devill jealousie , my present friend , Cannot at least but quite supplant Anthonio : Besides this seeming honesty of mine , begets me good Opinion of Franscicus , as shall install my wish ; All addes to my availe : what need I curses feare For the debate my policy shall raise betwixt these Turtles ? I hold with Machievel , for fame or profit To breake oath or league with friend , Or Brother : there's nothing gainfull bad : I ha my wish , Advancement now Is what I aime at , present glory here : He's true religious , that does nothing feare . Exit . Enter Thomaso , Valentius , Lodwicks , Stultissimo , and Fub. Stult. And how ? and how ? Was it not patheticall and pretty ? Val. Y faith I never heard the like . Lod. Nor I . Stult.

I thanke the Muses , I have as sharpe a conceite of mine owne when I list .

Lod.

Sir I take you to be a great devourer of Verjuyce .

Stult.

Now and then ; but 'tis not altogether that ; every one has his gift .

Val.

Tis so .

Stul.

Some has two or three .

Lod.

You say true Signior , some has twenty : for which they may thanke impudency and the art of begging .

Stul.

The art of begging : pray you how long has begging beene an art ?

Lod.

Ever since in rid in a foote-cloath , and wore the badge of authority .

Stult.

How long's that agoe ?

Lod.

Ever since you Grannams daughter had a Calfe of your age .

Stul.

Is't possible ?

Lod.

Yes , and will continue till hee's a Bull and horne mad .

Stul.

Most miraculous : would I were mercinary , and had no more in me than an ordinary man : Signior , I crye you mercy . How doe you since you powred the pottle of wine in my neck , and threw the pot at my head , because I would not pay my part o'th shot ?

Tom.

Was there such a time ?

Stult.

Was there ? Why have you forgot how you kickt me , and I crept under the Table : Ile be sworne this Hip's as lame ever since , as if I had the Cyatica .

Fub.

Absurd and grosse .

Vallen.

We must leave you Signior .

Stul.

I thanke you with all my heart : I am going to the foresaid place : here's my servant Fub can tell you if I lye in my throat .

Fub.

I will assure you he's wandring to Pusse , or as a man would say , to deale with Mistris Clariflora .

Stul.

Yes faith am I : she beat me tother day , and I am now going to make her amends . I thinke I endure more beating than any three in Venice .

Fub.

Than a Stock-fish .

Val.

'Tis a signe you are offensive .

Stul.

So they say that do't . Yester night a scurvy boy did so joule my head and the wall together , for holding opinion that Cheese was unwholsome .

Val.

No more good Signior : farewell .

Stul. At your service : Shall we expect you at the old house ? Exit Stul. & Fub. Val. If you please : Have you heard the like ? Tom. These are Asses so tedious — Val. They're kin to Burs , they will not off with shaking . Now my Thomaso what I have to say : The chiefe occasion made me summon you , Is to entreate your knowledge and assistance In such a project , ( as your selfe set by ) and him that must Partake in the attempt , Venice in Italy Conceales the man that I durst credit . Tom. Let it not touch confusion of the State , Treason , and Murther : whatsoe're it be , Command my will and sufferance . Val. Defend that ever I should be such : Vallentius never had so foule a thought , To infect himselfe , and others . Thus , in briefe , I love a woman ; fairer Than her selfe ne're wore the Epethite : You have seene her sure , and know her : She's wife to Vanderman . Tom. Correma's daughter ? Val. That same onely wight , is the most precious Beauty I adore , and would faine call mine own . Tom. Knew you her husband ? Val. By his name , no further ; By that knowledge you understand his course . Tom. Yes he's a Physitian : and besides , What else report speaks of him . Val. Listen then my purpose , The severe sir , whose high stretcht phrases Galls the eares of Patience , and wisedom would fain shun , Beares such a jealous and observant eye Over the prey I aime at , all conference is debar'd , And you may sooner whisper with the Saint Argos had charge of , than converse with her , Vnseene , and unsuspected . Tom. Is there no device to compasse her ? Val. But one , and this is it ; Your selfe and Lodwicke ( harken I beseech you ) Shall to this skilfull Vanderman present me As one distracted : nay smile anon , And with a kinde of sober modesty , as if you list you can , Report some probable possibility , how And which way I got my extasie : Let me alone to make your words seeme truth , And so possesse my prating Mountebanke , That he shall say and sweare I'me mad at least . If not past all recovery . Tom. Will this doe ? Val. This , or none . Tom. Then none . Why this is the shallowest , indirectest course to win a woman that ever was compos'd , in my opinion . Val. In your opinion : why sir ? Tom.

Why , hope you to gaine her thus with a mad fit : marke the event , this is a course as wide : Are you so simple to imagine , she a timerous woman , will endure your presence , seeming possest ? for shame believe it not , invent some other meanes .

Lodw. I verily thinke so too , but he will never bee perswaded . Tom. This were a way to scare her , and to make her shun you . Lodw. Leav't off , leav't off , and study some other new passage . Tom. Doe , doe ; this is the grossest : fie Vallentius : Lodw. Come , you shall pardon him once : wee all misse sometimes . Val.

Good gallants doe not ride me , lest I gall you : Ile assure you I trot hard : why my brace of conceits , my wits ; what does your abundance of wit runne at waste : for shame , have you so poore a braine , and you my most exquisite excellent , for shame take off your spectacles and see better : are you such a dunce : are you so rare a Coxcombe , to deeme I will appeare alwaies the same : are you the men you promist ? will you be Masters of your words and oaths , tender your vow'd assistances ?

Lodw. I am Lodwicke still . Tom. And I Tomaso . Val.

Continue so : what shall redound upon this adventure , falls upon my head , be it no shame to yours : onely preferment and your smooth apologies .

Lod. Leave that to us . Tom. But can you act the mad-man bravely ? Val.

Tut , I have play'd Ajax , and perform'd the part wel , to make boast of imitation , better than he that Lucian writes of , who so digested what he plaid , that he run mad indeed .

Tom. Can you do't ? Val. So well , as Aesop could discharge his Scene , whereby he won most laud . Lod. This praise were well in me . Val.

Mistrust not my behaviour , and if it prove not correspondent to my word , thinke me an idle vanter , and no meet associate for you .

Tom. When put we this in practice ? Val. There's no deferring weekes , nor dayes , this houre , this very evening does my fit begin . Lod. Shall we about it then ? Val.

What else , what else ? Remember gentlemen you fall not upon the scandall of Ignorance : but in any case keep your countenances .

Lodw. Make no doubt of that . Val. Come then , and fortune friend us . Exeunt omnes Enter Francisco , and Antonio , as in a Grove . Fran. Draw your sword . Ant. 'Gainst whom ? Fran. 'Gainst me . Ant. 'Gainst any living man thats your enemy : What ailes my deare Francisco ? By your face you should not be in health . Fran. Draw your sword . Ant. What meane you ? Fran. Draw your sword . Ant. 'Gainst you never in anger : Are you well Franciscus ? me thinkes your cheeke Carries a paler hue than wont to be his Livery . Fran. I must fight with you . Ant. With me . Fran. With thee perfideous monster , with thee thou Iudas . Ant. Are you your selfe ? Fran. Thou hast abused me , wronged me . Ant. I wrong'd and abus'd you ? Franciscus , can you think so of me ? Fran. Doe not enquire ; yonder he sits knowes all : Look yonder , thou art to him transparent , and seen through , As easie as the aire : doe not cloak thy vice , doe not : See'st thou this ? see'st thou the place we tread on ? Marke my speech , one of us twaine , or both ( never start ) On this cold earth , this very Champion , shall Offer up a crimson sacrifice of his most precious blood : For that cause drew I to this silent shade , Remote from all suspition , where Revenge might glut with satisfaction : Draw thy sword , or else thou never shalt . Ant. Did not my love prohibit , Thinke , Francisco , I could not be a Coward , Nor endure the opprobrious taunts the malice Of your heart has made your tongue throw on me ; Why I know not : believe me , and receive it for a truth , Were you some other , in this wide vast world , And not Franciscus , you had beene a dogge That I had kickt long since ; but you are my friend , And my disgrace is buried : yet if you carry honour In your breast , and beare your wonted venerable mind , Make me to understand from whence , or why your Comminations & undecent language point thus at me alone ? Fran. Will you draw ? Ant.

Do you thirst for bloud ? if so , and mine , hide to the hilts your naked instrument , my bosome is your mark : thrust home and take your fill .

Fran. Will you draw ? Ant. You had mine answer , never , never . Fran. Do you not love my wife ? Ant. Yes , by Heaven . Fran. Confesse , ô impudence ! my wrong cryes out , no more expostulation , remember Iulio . Ant. Wherefore him , he is a Toad more virulent , oh , oh ! Fran. Bathe there , adulterate fiend , and thy red drops wash off thy guilty stains . Enter Hermite and Shepheard . Ant. Oh , some charitable creature ! Francisco , dear Francisco . Exit . No pittie , no remorse , I bleed , and much effusion robs me of my breath , something of sence relieve me , help , ô help . Shep.

That dying tune , was sure a mans , where art thou friend , speak thou that cryd'st for help , if thou wouldst have thy wish , speak once again : where art thou ?

Ant. Here . Shep. To one in thy case could I nere lesse wish , then health and mercy , how fare you sir ? Ant. Oh! Oh! Shep.

His utterance is decayed , and life begins to creep out of his wounds : let me see , so many , and so mortall ! can I but stay the course I wish no more : have I nothing left , to stay this passage : well , yet still hee breathes , that I had here some help . Thy aid Omnipotent , yet his pulses beat , life is not quite discharged , — no succour ! keep he but motion , till I can beare him to my Cell , I doubt not , his recovery : this winde , this winde , that my Balmes were here : for my youthfull dayes heaven lend ability .

Exit . He carries him off . Enter Crissippus , Tomaso , Lod wick , Iulio , Cornelia , and Phemone . Cris. Run to all brief confusion . Lod. Good , sir , be pacified . Cris.

Even in the pride , and noon time of his fortunes , brought to destruction thus : a milder , better tempered Gentleman , Venice nor Europe yielded ; his knowledge made me proude , and I was rich in his adoption .

Corn. O my Franciscus , ô my gentle Lord ! Phe. My brother , my deare brother . Cris.

My sonne , my sonne , so noble , valiant , wise , dearer to me then him I call mine owne by true succession , doe you weep ?

Iulio .

I am not blest , all things doe sort contrary ; 'twill not do , my projects thrive not , would I had been silent , wee know the first , but not the last , I begin to perceive our policies of times whets the Axe , cuts off our own necks ; I have and one my selfe , that it should come to this , wee seeke to mend so long , that we marre all : for mine own part , would I could have been content : but who would have dreamt the course would have proved so violent : well this I am sure on , I may starve ere I get such another friend .

Tom.

Sister , if it be true , as so the rumour goes , you have playd false , and wronged your dearest friend : you are not worthy such another man , you sole Queene of Africk ; had you to live as many ample yeares as our first fathers , or their ages thrice : you might spend all those tedious houses twice told , ere you finde a Mate so worthy , were you equivalent , in birth and beauty , and had no paralell : Neptunes gems to boot , you want worth and excellencie both , to weigh down his demerit ; Vertue and Honour stampt him for their own , at his first being , and the Graces strove to increase his plenitude . More perfection then he has , hee needs not , where ere he's betook .

Corn. Somthing that's mighty , stain me Leopard like , if ere I gave offence . Iulio . I should be loath to wish so . Cris. Not you offend ? look here , This letter left he as a testimony , Who is there here 'mongst all this company , That knew Franciscus , knew not he affected , And highly priz'd the slain Antonio ? What could have rais'd such deadly enmity ? But this , but this , thou strumpet , Between such twinlike friends ? Thy misdemeanour , thy approved falsnesse ; Which too , too well he knew , Thou hast und one him , Fled he is and gone ; His goods already seiz'd are for the State : And die he shall if ever he be took , Oh , fie upon thee my perpetuall shame ! Corn. Can you this behold , you upright Justices ? Cris. Thou art not mine , I here deny thy claime , And warn thee hence-forth , Come not neere my roofe : Pine , starve and die , reliefe and comfort Never more expect from him that was thy father . Iulio . 'Tis nothing I see , to work the dissolution of a house , How easily this is done ? Cris. I must weep , to deeme I should be forc'd to be so cruell ; More I have to say , if teares would let me ; ( Me thinks ) I could both kisse and curse her : If she be wrong'd , and through some make-strife , These foule ills prove a greater plague , Then fell in Egypt , light on the Authors head , The maws of Dogs be his Tombe : Help me to curse him Iulio . Iulio . Ten thousand swords strook me together . Lod. Liv'd there such a wretch , And that I knew him , Let my faith not save me , But I would teare the Viper with my teeth , And like a rude and savage Caniball , Eate out his treacherous heart . Iulio . Now the foule Devill , stuffe thy glutnous paunch , I am no viand for thee ? Lod. Who's this comes here , Arbaces ? Enter Arbaces , with two or three Gentlemen . Arba. Disgrace and woe smite all this company , and make them feele my griefe . Cris. Disgrace , contagion , and what can be worse , Smite thee and all thy tribe . Arba. Undone , undone , where is Anthonio ? Where's my sonne Crisippus ? Cris. Answer thine own words ; Where's mine Arbaces ? Arba. Where such a Villain — And fell murtherer should . Lod. More charity for shame . Cris. Sorrow gripe my heart till it be bloud lesse , But what thou speak'st is false : A more slanderous lye never left the lips of any . Arba. Lye ? 1 Gent. Sir , be perswaded . Cris. Tell not me , Ile prove it on him , Arbaces , boy — Arba. That we were alone . Lod. Well said , old Lad . Arba. Shew thy self a man , meet me to morrow . Lod. Good , sir , forbeare . Cris. Not meet him . 1 Gent. Will you be entreated ? Cris. Give me leave . Lod. Will you be pacified ? Cris. Meet thee , yes I will meet thee ; I dare meet a man : Arbaces thou shalt finde it . Arba. Come , you are a prater . Cris. Prate ; ye shall heare from me . Toma. With reverence of your age , good sir , You want of that discretion and stayd judgement ; Your yeares and place requires : It is not well , One of your reputation and report , Should so forget your self : to be plain , You lack advice ; and this same cavillation , Meerly provok'd by you . Proclaymes a loud your inconsiderate folly . Arba. Sir , sir ; check your own : — You never lost a sonne , and cannot Ayme at my affections and paternall care : You have undone me — Robb'd me of my joy . Toma. You are not right considerate , Who has undone you sir ? Arba. You , you , and shee , and every one of you ; The punishment for murder fall on all your heads , And blast your terrene hopes : Cruell , cruell , butchery . Wast not sufficient that he took his life , As by his own confession : Undid his wofull mother and my self , But he must practice more Immanly , more dire austerity ; Throwing his breathlesse trunk In some obscure night-shaded Mansion , A prey for ravenous beasts ; Where never eye of creature rationall , Shall more behold him : unchristian part , If there be justice , above or here ; As certainly there's both : Ile petition , My lowd complaints shall pierce both sides o'the globe , And strike a sorrow in the rudest thing , Nature for mans use moulded : O! my Antonio ? my joy , my life ; My deare , my deare Antonio . Exit . Lod. There's cause for this . Cris. Sure , sure , how fond was I That could not weigh this before ; Having his proper cause , If for some not slaughtred , Nor mine own , but by selection , I could sigh my age , shed flouds of teares , Meet dangers in my shirt , bid conquering Death defiance , if all this and more I durst attempt , For one no otherwise , then mine by law ; Needs must he rave past rules of Manhood , And forget all precepts that support his suffrance : See you this ? What think you of your self ? Have you not done well ? account thou scandall , That like the Whore of Greece , Was teem'd for mans destruction ; Thy sin upon thy self , my doore is shut ; That hospitality I shew a stranger , Shall be restrained from thee . Corn. Most courteous sir , — expect more . Cris. Keep your Orisons to charm relenting beggers . Such in need , as may thy wants relieve ; Or at least sympathy thy mournfull tale , When fierce distresse smiles , Expect more comfort from the blustring North , When he does blow the highest Acorn head Down to the Medow , and there dips his cup ; Then least relief from me , for thee ; For thee chast Maid , all benisons , And goodnesse , that I can , command and have . Phe. Your liberality was ever such , As merits more then thanks ; yet thus far , Truth emboldens me to say you are too cruell kinde , Not all the proofs , What ere incenst my brother to his rage ; Can wean me to that vain opinion , To think it her desert : I dare protest for her , No perswasion can drive belief in me , To call Antonio false ; if you prove so cruell , So unnaturall as you speak , there is no pitty in you : Nor are you such as a father ought to be , Thrust her out , then turn me off ; If you supplant one , you extirp us both , And her extreams are mine . Cris. Since you disdain my proffer'd courtesie , Together shelter your necessities ; Take up your habour with the hardy beast ; These gates are lockt to her and her relievers Hence-forth I will forget her , Blot her name forth of the Bed roule Where my children stand , And vow I had none such : Hence , hence , thou scandall . Exit . Cor. Thus guilt lesse ones , suffer the guilties blame , While they triumph in fraude , thus the strict Judge Condemnes th'innocent for the thieves offence ; Whilst partiality allows his wrong , And greatnesse makes it good ; Will equity never take place again ? Has trust left swaying here ? that I but knew my crime : Or that Francisco but beheld my heart ! Let mine eyes rain a river of salt drops , And my tears drown me , if any foule sin of mine , Deserve Franciscoes hate : I had rather heaven had made me any thing , Then one so much unhappy , When ere thou bidest on the plenteous shore , Or labouring floud , Prosperity adhere to thy proceedings , And fame conclude thy deeds , For me despised , such be my fortune as my loyalty , And I request no more , My sweet , my sweet Francisco . Exit . Phe. Heaven do thee right . Lod. And if thou beest not honest , There's neither pride nor coozenage in this Citie : If every conscience were well searcht , And you did not finde Some dainty fine conceited Rogue Has been tempering , Let me return to my Cradle , And be hang'd in my swadling clouts .
Actus tertius . Scena prima . Enter Vallentius , and Doctors Wife , Lodowick , Tomaso , and Julio . sound Musick . Tomaso .

THink you it so ?

Lod.

Yes , and verily believe't .

Toma.

Tis strangly carried .

Lod. Mark the end , marke the end ; Why do you sigh , Signior ? Are you troubled with the Crampe ? Toma. O , blame him not , he has good cause to sigh , Francisco set by him precious : How fare you , Signior ? Iulio .

Never worse , my Friend's undone .

Lod.

I , a mischiefe and a vengeance oth' cause , by this sword , nay , feare not man , I am not angry , and I could not judge , well , I say no more : but if hee did not walke on Stilts , I do detest eating and drinking , and those are two necessaries , a man can hardly live well without them .

Toma. The very Paragon , mirrour of the time . Lod.

If I could not have wept when I beheld her , and that was more then I did at the death of my father , I have no beliefe in me .

Toma. Who but she , the wonder of our age . Lod. No more words , mark the end , marke the end ; I say , still mark the end . Toma. I must leave you . Lod.

Not as the wench left the Frenchman in the suds , there's neither mettle nor society in thee ; if thou abandon'st my company , till we have visited Valentius .

Toma. I wonder how he speeds ? Lod.

Did he not act the madman to the life , was't not wel ? could ever a Dunsticall Doctor in this Towne , have pickt falshood out of his behaviour : he was so mutable , so full of varying tricks ( me thinks ) I see him yet .

Toma.

Defer your visitation till to morrow , or late sometime to night : I am yet unfit , this sudden trouble has made me not my selfe .

Lod. Nay , you must goe ; I have sworne you shall , and ( that presently . Toma. I pray you pardon me , Lod. I will not be deny'd , refuse me now and ever . Toma. Youle have your humour still ? Lod.

What , eschew acquaintanceship ? forget , After my most hearty commendations , my very trusty friend , 'Twere sin and shame Tomaso .

Toma. But some other time . Lod.

This time , sometime , other times , and all times , this day , yesterstay , tother day , and every day ; no houre amisse , march on , march on .

Exit . Julio .

I could launch my Dagger through my side , at one easie throw : begger my friend ; subvert mine owne estate , and undo her , by whom I hope to climbe , accursed , brainles slave : could the damn'd Devill with all his fire-brands , beat into my pate no sounder subtilty . I had , I had reliefe , Foole vaunt of that ? boast what thou hadst ? or might have ? tis past , 'tis gone , my villaine selfe , confounded has my selfe , and him that did sustaine me :

What choaks Corne sooner than side-fed weeds , Who ofter does man wrong than he afeeds : Let me ponder ; have I no other invention ? No trick to take away my life , after my meanes : Study upon't , I'me strooke upon a sand , Swallow'd , devowr'd , through wilfull ignorance , Never to rise againe : 'tis a villaines cast , First to sinke others , them himselfe at last . Enter Valentius and Doctors wife . Val. You cannot blame me neither : For love himselfe undertooke more for love ; Had you been tangled in a Labyrinth more intricate Than held the Minataure , or have beene By Inchantments bound to servitude , My life's adventure had my love exprest , And offered the release . Doct. wife . Our plighted amities will dwell in me While life endures ; the many winters , & the tedious hours We two have spent alone , alone Vallentius , When nothing but what was not fit the Sunne Should look upon , — Alacke my Husband . Enter Doctor , Thomaso , Lod wicke , Stultissimo , and Fub. Val.

It must not be denyed , Ile maintaine't before the Synod , here's my witnesse : was't not well done of brave Caligula to make his horse a Senator ? deny't , deny't , would not a good horse shew well among a teame of Asses : ha , what thinke you : give me another sword : O noble Hector , looke , Achilles flyes , and bloody Pyrrhus shrinkes .

Tom. Alas , alas . Val. What newes , what newes ? Stul. Gentlemen he takes me for a Carrier : You are deceived sir , I am not the party . Val.

Will Pluto keep his word , shall all extortioners , engrocers , usurers , be finely damn'd , of what kind soe're ? will he spare none ?

Lod. Wondrously spent . Val.

Let me see , let me see , the sonne of Panace , a sprightly Lad ; Hercules , a lusty youth , a very lusty youth ; Sampson , a tall young man , a very tall young man .

Lod. Does he not do't well ? Val. Ile make thee proov't , Ile make thee proov't . Fub. I thinke you are mad : What shall I prove ? Val.

Why greatest generalls , that command whole Legions , and traine , and keepe in order every man , cannot keepe in a woman .

Fub.

That's an easie question , because most of them get Follies wings , and grow so light there's no ho with them : they must flye out .

Val. Hang them , they are naught all : Tell not me learned Ovidius Naso , what's your name . Doct. Good sir . Val.

That bloody villaine : Treason gentlemen , call up a Guard , the traytor's discovered : binde him sure , sure : are you tooke napping sirrah : Downe with him , downe with him , downe .

Doct. Helpe , helpe , helpe Gentlemen . Vallentius beates him in , the gentlemen would come between . Exit all but the Doctors wife . Fub. I doe not like this . Fub goes off another way . Enter Valentius againe , and kisses her . Val. Now my sweet I have sent him off in post , Let us retire the while . Who in affection will not his wits prove , Was never loyall , nor did ever love . Enter Doctor . Doct.

Past , past cure , I doubt . Give me leave , I finde by my Art 'tis no Vertiga , no whirling , but a meere setled frenzy : Nay I pray you give me leave : for as both Hypocrates , and Gallen , Avicen , Podalirius , Rucis , Cornelius , Celsus , Corannus , Augustino , and Rombart , doe you conceive mee ? besides a dozen or two of English-men , most learned and worthy physitians ( if I knew what they were ) have demonstrated paraphrastically , both it and the cause , styling the malady the digestion of the braine , or Irrevocabilis ignis , the irrevocable fire : Nay , will you understand me ?

Lod. Would we could . Doct. I pray you give me leave . Tom. Who hinders him ? Stul. Sir if you can speake our tongue , I would very faine be beholding to you . Doct. Art thou mad ? Stul.

Not altogether mad , though I confesse I have beene prickt with the thornes of Love : I have beene over shooes in my dayes .

Doct. Avoydance , for charity avoydance . Stul.

Yes marry shall you : I would desire you to helpe me to a pill , or a potion that could make one honest , that I doubt is a little gone astray .

Doct. Avaunt , avaunt . Stult. No sir , she is none of my naunts : shee's one that must be my wife . Doct. Turbulant fiend : avaunt , avaunt I charge thee . Stul. I would have it applyed sir . Doct. Illiterate dunce , abandon my house , avaunt I say againe . Stul.

Nay , I pray you be quiet , for though I have endured many hard words at your hands , I shall hardly brooke blowes .

Enter Fub. Fub.

Good gentlemen give me leave to laugh : ha , ha , ha , the Doctors wife , and the Mad-man : the mad-man , and the Doctors wife .

Lod. Why , what's the matter ? Fub. Why sir , the fits upon him , and he's upon her , and younder's such sport , ha , ha , ha . Doct. Fire and Thunder . Exit . Fub. Runne : ware hornes . Tom. Is this true sirrah ? Fub. Follow the Doctor , believe your eyes . Lod. Beware the trap Valentius . Tom. Pray heaven he be not tane with nibbing . Lod. Why are you melancholy Signior ? Stul. Faith sir I' me troubled with cornes , and ever against raine they make me so melancholy — Lod.

Is that it , for the thing you spake on , you shall not be beholding to the scald peremptory Doctor : Come to my Chamber anon , and Ile give you a powder shall fulfill your request , as well as all the potions or Pills he can devise .

Stult. Nay , but will you be constant . Lod. Say no more : Stul. And you doe take my word , while I live : She and I will be at your service : when shall I come for't ? Lod Any time after noone . Will you walk Tomaso ? Stul. This is good newes with all my heart : Fub we are all made ; thou shalt have a new Livery out of the bargaine . Fub. I thanke you sir , I would I had it . Stul. Thou shalt , thats as good : would I were whipt but I could be monstrous merry now . Fub. No I pray you bee not monstrous merry till you are married . Stul. Ile goe give thee a pottle of Sack . The Taverne Sceane . And ever he gave her a bob , And ever he gave her a blow : But where he knockt her once above , He thumpt her thrice below . What wil't not doe ? prethee — let's be lusty . Fub. As a Crow in a Gutter . Run there she goes . Exeunt . Enter Antonio , and the old shepheard disguised . Ant. Father , for so I must stile you , Your care and paines in my recovery , Deserves a recompence more than I am able to performe : Now I consider with my selfe , had we compassionate soules , Or were men but good , they would banish beggery The World quite over , and every one have sufficient . As hitherto you have conceald my course , Continue still your wonted secresie , Call me your sonne , and such appoyntments as a father Should command me to endure I shall performe : Blessed , blessed be you : effectuall be my prayers . Shep. The longer time you so journe here with me The more welcome : nothing more I crave ; But if I dye while you recide i'th' grove , Out of your charity you'le take the paines To lay me in the grave I have prepar'd , and with your hand , Your foote , or any thing , cast dust upon my body , And spend a little Ceremony . Ant. More than this I will , and more than I will speak . Francisco , whersoe're thou bidest , abide in quiet , And have my pardon ever . If thou be'st fled For any cause of mine , and I thy ruine prove , Defend it heaveu , were't not for triall of Phemone's love , And promis'd constancy , how soone would I renounce My habitation , uncloath thy feare , & set all even againe ? Nothing ' mazes , nor drives me into that serious Contemplation , as whence his wrath should proceed . Perchance Franciscus thinkes me unfit to call him brother , And his suddaine rage proceeded from advice . Enter Corn . and Phemone disguised . If it be so for ever will I keep this shady bower , And never hold companionship with man , More than is present , forget Arbaces ever Cal'd me his , or that I was his sonne . Circle me safety , what are these come here Where never neighbour dwelt ? Corn. Calamity could not inflict so much as I could beare With patience , did Franciscus imagine but the truth : No lenity , but all extreames that may Attend me with their sharpest violence , If e're I broke my vow : this sorrow , Nor the haviour I sustaine are for mine owne endurings , Witnesse you that know all secrets , 'tis for him I wish thrice better than my selfe . Ant. Yes , and that Cornelia ; as sure as the black Ousell Has a yellow mouth , that whistles me awake . Tis she , or I am fond . Corn. O my Franciscus ! O my dearest Lord ! Ant. There needs no more for confirmation : What make they here ? Doe not undoe me wonder . Ne're had two ragged coats more orient pearles , Than you two shells doe hide : 'tis she , or I am fond , Leap not forth with joy , such needy robes Should wrap the shoulders of necessity , When winter falls the Leafe : happy Antonio , I am disguised , and so , if that my speech reveale not , Without suspect I may obtaine my wish , And have all doubts resolv'd : Ile greet 'em . Bonny wight , what e're you be , Lucke be in your company : Are you Sylvanus , say to me ? Phem. None such , good Shepheard . Ant. Deft and trim ones mickle glee , Be you what you please to be , Some disaster tend by yee , Corn. Never , never more . Phe. A me unfortunate . Ant. Welladay , now by my Creed , And my merry Oaten Reed , Sike another rousing sigh Would well split me gay and blith : Let a loutish Clowne partake , Why this sobbing dole you make ? Corn. O inconstant world . Phe. A me unfortunate . Ant. Wonderment of woe relate If simplenesse you might not scorne , How you hapt to be forlorne . Corn. The story would be too tedious for the time , And would undoe the speaker : Friend no more , You shall doe well to leave us . Ant. Be not all too keene , bright starre , If my pertnesse went too farre , Mercy is the doome I sue , Good things never meant more true , Than the silly shepheard did , Late wen he your sorrow bid : Discourse the meanes merry Pan , And the sagest gods doe scan ; Wherefore was it ? well a neare , You foule mucky cloud I feare Will besprint us , Poebus twaine , If so list you but to daine A poore shepheards entertaine , Welcome should you be , I wisse , Nor thing comely should you misse , Though not courtly : answer make , Will you my small feasting take ? Phem. The raine begins to fall ; Sister accept the Shepheards courtesie , His simplenesse cannot but meane well sure . Corn. Even what you please : Whither I goe , or wheresoe're I rest , Sorrow with me , and I with sorrow feast . Welcome , welcome , welcome still , Never with a freer will Was welcome spoken , by the skie ; Welcome , welcome heartily . Alacke , alacke , the rotten south 'Gins to ope his dewy mouth , Time to hide you : Father meeke Give kind welcome , I beseeke , To these white ones , bonny girles , Welcommer than heaps of Pearles . Sheph. You see our Cave , and make as bold as welcome . Exeunt . Anto.

Receive my adorations Queene of chance , Thou never gav'st that jewell to that man , was halfe so wel esteem'd ; my hopes have their desires , Phemone , blest successe ; nothing that's amisse , but I shall understand : disguise I thanke thee , joy ties up my tongue , and will not let mee speake ; they part not soone .

Exit . Enter Franciscus disguised . Fran. What Angle of the Earth must be my grave ? The Sea and Sunne have bounds , and know their course , The sonnes of men have none : Limitlesse he wanders the forraigne desarts , And begets more wonders every houre : The Chime that tells the last minuite of the night , Chides but in vaine when every thing's a sleepe ; So I in the relation of my woe , when no man hearkens , Spend but idle breath , and never finde reliefe . But for increase sake , I could wish devoutly , I never had knowne woman : What comfort ever others reapt from them , They have beene plagues to me : to note the difference , They are such things , nothing's more worse , nor better ; To say truth , they are Angels , and Devils ; I will not curse 'em , lest I make them worse That needs no badnesse , nor rip up their defects , Lest I spend all my after time of life in nothing else but that . Iulio , the profit of my Orisona be thine , Where e're I spend 'em , upright constant man : Yet I am eas'd , in that I doe not beare my slavish yoake , Cocker mine infamy , as many doe within our Venice gates : Thanks to thee Iulio ; Chastity , honour of women , Whither art thou fled ? that they are all so false I must forget 'em , they will make me mad To thinke of their abuse : would I could learne What inquisition is made after me ; Some speech of my concealement will report blab out , That I may heare the danger does pursue me , Though I adventure life , I will know more , Or dye in the presumption : I'le nearer to the City . Enter Lodwick , Tomaso , Iulio , Stultissimo , Fub , the Whoore , and the Bawd . Stult. That's a good jest yfaith ; Drawer , gives more Wine . Lod. What's a good jest Signior ? Stult. That none should be honest but the valiant . Lod. How's that ? how's that ? Stult. Why my beetle-brow'd Host sweares 'tis impossible for any to be honest , that is not valiant . Toma. What said he ? What said he ? Enter Drawer . Stult. That none could be honest , that were not valiant . Tomd. O very good , very good : more Wine here , hee's packing , set out his hand . Lod. And his foote too , ere I have done : where's this fellow ? another Pottle sirrah . Stult. Sir I thanke you for my powder , it gave her halfe a dozen of tickling stooles , she has beene loose ever since . Lod. Give me your hand , here's even now to all the invisible hornes i'th' City . Stult. Forget not the Countrey , let it go round I pray you . Lod. A health . Fub. You'le have reason to pledge this shortly . Stult. Will you come ? to morrow is the day Ile assure you , for better or worse . Lod. To morrow from better to worse ? Fub. Yes faith he has said it , and I sweare it , from better to worse indeed . Toma. Married to morrow Signior ? Stult. You have said we shall be doing . Fub. Vndoing he meanes . Toma.

So neare marrying Clariflora , and not acquaint your friend ? yfaith I thought Mistris you would have let me understood what had past .

Bawd . 'Tis my part to conceale . Fub. She were no good Bawd else . Lod. Come , sit round , sit round , to morrow the day ? Stult.

Pardon me , Ile not sit next this lousie fellow : gentlemen , what doe you with this poore rogue in your companies ? Does he come to make mirth , can hee play the foole wittingly ?

Lod. I know him not . Toma. Would he were set downe staires , I never could endure him from the first : Franciscus made me know him . Stult. Sirra , if you meane to depart in peace , begon suddainly . Toma. Would the Asse could rid this intruding Copesmate . Iulio . Let me beseech you . Stult. You shall goe , your prayers cannot save you ; Fub , shew him the way downe . Fub. Shall I be your Vsher ? will you follow your leader sir ? Iulio . Thus poverty's despis'd at home , abroad , and in all companies . Stult.

A whorson Tatred-demallion , come amongst Gentlemen of sort . What , is't no more but up and ride ? How now Fub , is he vanisht ?

Fub. The Drawers have drawne him out Sir . Lod. Clinke boyes . Toma. Drinke boyes . Stult. And let the Cannikin clinke boyes . Lod. Stultus . Stult. Yes Lodwick . Lod. Tomaso , shall's make a night on't mad lads ? Toma. And a mad night too Bullies : where shall's strike faile ? Lod.

The Leaguer , where but a'th' new Leaguer : there's generous entertainment for Gallants of sort at all times : and for entrance trust me my mates .

Toma. But money grows low , and expences will flye high . Stult. Fly hye , let it , I have a jacke in a boxe shall pay for all one day . Lod. I am as full as a Spunge , I cannot sinke up a drop more . Stult.

No matter , we can squeeze some more out thus : we can wake the Constable , trouble the neighbours , disquiet the Master and whole family , spill his Wine , puffe his Tobacco , foule his roomes , practise who shall breake most holes , and cleanliest , in the bottome of quart-pots , with a piece of a Tobacco-pipe : cry good morrow mine Host , we ha' made a madde night on't I vow , and so trance ; wee are no Gallants and we cannot doe this .

Lod. But this course is either conscionable , or commendable . Tom. Faith 'tis the course , most of the corke-headed Candle-snuffes walke in these latter daies , late at nights . Lod. Well , let them rest : So , ho , the Leaguer . Munk. Chi-va-lah . Lod. Amice . Munk. The word . Lod. Pecima largienda . Munk. Let 'em passe : downe with the Percullis : Lights and attendance , welcome Gentlemen . Enter Iulio , Drawer , Pusse , Bawd . Iulio .

I ever said , it might come in a night , that came not in an age , Et ecce noctem faelicem ; see , that joviall night is come : They have beene playing high , and potting deepe : Lights , Wine , and more stooles for these Gentlemen ; welcome .

Enter Lodowick , Tomaso , Stultissimo , and Fub. Lod. Tomaso when's the day ? Stult.

Assure's this the night before to morrow , I have brought in my Estate a matter of 400 pound per annum , in Deeds , Leases , Fee-simple , and Coppy-hold already : and that's no simple Estate youle say : I meane to bid you welcome to a Leaguer of mine own shortly Gentlemen ; some wine you Scondrils .

Lod. I'me pleas'd to here't , whose faults this , yours Tomaso ? Enter Julio . Iulio .

What's this Leaguer raysed yet , Par la ho boy , I thought we should have had a second siege of Troy on't , is their Reckoning paid ? not a penny , they call'd for one , but in such a drunken key ; I bad em sleep upon't , and I would tell em more on't when they were sober .

Iulio . Best of all , and whats to pay then ? Draw.

Nine and six pence , Sir , allowance for lights , linnen , coals to light faggots : and six pence for one journymans sleep only deducted , and yet they grumbled too .

Iulio . But nine and six pence , and grumble ; my friend the reckoning's not payd you say . Monk. Not a penny . Julio .

The reckoning but nine and six pence , how poorely this shews , in a Leaguer too , and friends that pretended me a courtesie too ? How many joynts of meat to supper ?

Draw. Only a couple of clean Pipes , some three times fild I thinke . Iulio . No meat , come to hansell a Leaguer , what no meat ? Are they abed at Anthonies Ordinary yet ? Draw. Two houres ago . Iulio .

Step down , and see , nine and six pence , they must and shall heare more of this : we may go beg , or buy up all the , refuse , broken bread and meat , scraps , offall , and garbage that Cooks shops , Shambles , Ordinaries , Entries , and Rich-mens dores afford ; nine and six pence , if they do not heare more of this —

Draw. Tis past that time of night ; Charitie's bed , sir , but if not . — Enter Bread and Meatman . Bread. Bread and meat for poore prisoners , Bread & meat . Iulio . What doth that fellow cry ? Bread. Bread and meat for the poor prisoners , bread & meat . Iulio .

For poore prisoners ? as fit for my purpose , as a Conny for a Pursnet ; here , take mony , buy his provision by the lumpe : if I had studied for a fortune to fall upon me , I could not have had a fairer .

Monk. Wilt thou victuall thy Leager with scraps , sweet Chuck ? Iulio .

No , my sweet Monkie , I have further aymes then so , this broken meat and baggage offall , will I strew in my Kitchin , Dressers , Hall , Entries , and every doore and draw-window , and perspicous places about the house : foule all the vessell , three or foure times over , all to besmeere the rustie spits and dripping-pans ; breake all my broken glasses , beat the bottom out of my Cans : beat all my foul Tobacco-pipes , into fractions

Monk. And to what end all this ? Iulio .

Perlahay , My friends shall heare more of that in the reckoning : My sweet Monkie , when the Drunkards shall wake , and see all these ruines , or rather remayns of a plentifull Leager : Oh , hast thou no apprehension ? Why , I tell thee , they cannot choose out of their generous bounties , but see all discharg'd ?

Within . A cup of six , Drawer . Iulio .

Oh , the Leager begins to rise ! Come Monkie a few directions for you in private , give you attendance on the Leager ; let em call for what they will , and want nothing they call for : only I will tell em no more of nine and sixe pence in the reckoning .

Monk. But for the nine and six pence . Julio .

Monkie , you shall heare more of that anon , when they are sober ? why Drawer , Dog , Dunghil-raker ; is the Leaguer dry ? By and by , a cup of six into the low Leaguer , there .

Wake Lodwick , Tomasa , Stultissimo , Fub. Stult. So , ho , the Leaguer . Draw. What do ye lack ? by and by , do ye call Gentlemen ? Stult. No , and I call'd a Gentleman , he would answer me , I call a Drawer goodman Rascall , art thou one ? Draw. For fault of a better , sir . Lod. Couldst not ha said so then ? where's the Master of the Leaguet ? Enter Julio . Iulio . Parlahey Monkie , bene venu Gallants , com a stato Sigiores mio com I stato . Tom. Marry the better for your entertainment ; thanks , sir . Stult. Thank him , I scorn to thank him , Ile pay him , and be out of his debt : come , to pay ? A reckoning Drawer . Iulio .

You Rascall , who takes away here ? here's a house bestrewed with garbage and offall , as if the great Inquest had been feasted , &c.

Stult. As good men , to no mans disprayse be it spoken , where's a Bill ? Lod.

Prethee knock us not down , afore our time ; was this certain feast of our making ? what a spoyle of Poultery has here been ? Tomaso , I must be beholding to thee for this ordinary .

Tom. Some small trifle Stultissimo , the Reckoning is thought to be . Stult. The Reckoning's very high , nine pound six shillings . Iulio . Nine pound six shillings , Parlahey , and yet I use you like Christians too boyes . Lod. Nine pound six shillings , how could wee foure devoure so much being halfe drunk when we came in ? Stult. Why there's the mistery ? you fall asleep with meat in your mouthes , my Mistris and I stood it out . Monk. Wast not an excellent Swan-pie ? Servant . Stult. As ere swam in Mil-dam . Lod. Nine pound six shillings , one lay out for all , Come , your purses Gentlemen . Stult.

And you love me , let me have the credit at this time there's : ten pounds , give me the rest again ( ah , wee had the bravest Marchpane , and Sugar-candy Custard ) or do not , let it run on towards fouling of linnen , and paying for sawee : the rest agen , or do —

Iulio .

I do not think but you are sawst pretty well already , for the Devill a bit of meat saw I , and yet all these scraps could not come of nothing .

Stult. The Reckoning's paid to a haire , come let's withdraw ( but while the Room be a little finificald . Iulio . Parlahey , welcome Gallants to the Leaguer still : please you withdraw . All . We accept it thankfully . Lod. Whose fault's this yours Tomaso ? Toma. There wants lap . Stult. Throw downe the pottle pot , let's have a gallon more . Enter a Fidler . Fid. Wilt please you Gentlemen , to heare any Musicke , and a good Song ? Lod. Very fain , a good one . Toma. What's your fellows , whose noyse are you ? Fid. Ruberts noyse , and please you ? Lod. Call your fellows , and strip your tools . Tom. Here's to you Signior . Stult. A brace of them if you love me . Toma. Marry and shall . Draw. Score a gallon of Claret in the Pomegranat . Fub. What Tim ? Draw. Master Fub I rejoyce to see you well . Lod. You are not merry Gentlewomen , Mistris Durable what , no mirth ? Draw. And how ist , how have you done this seven yeares , welcome again . Fub. As you see , in perfect memory , when shall wee ride the hogsheads ? Draw.

Ha , do you remember that night , Ancient Thumps health overthrew mee , my Master goes out of Towne next weeke ; yfaith and youle come , there's halfe a dozen good boys , weele be swingeing merry , will give him a crash , old Will , Will be here ?

Fub. What Will ? Draw. Little Will of the Mitre . Oh , Master Fub , Sir , out Maid , that gave us the Neats Tongue is gone . Fub. See , see . Toma. Some Sugar there ? Fidler .

Ha , ha , hum .

In ample stories written tis , Who list but for to minde it ; How loved Narcissus ? Go look and you shall finde it . This Eccho was a Nymph most chaste , A lack , the more the pitty She should be so , and should not reape : What follows in my Ditty ? Narcissus was but young , I wisse , But yet of perfect feature , And had enough to satisfie A reasonable creature . His brawny limbes became his parts , No one of sence could blame them : And so did something else I trow , Eccho knew how to name them . Stult. A vertuous piece of matter , Gentlemen , wee'le no more on't . Lod. Nay , hold up , Signior . Stult. Bid her hold up , feare not me . Lod. Come Gentlewomen , shall we have a dance ? Tomaso what say you ? Tom. You prevented me . Stult. I thought it should have been my motion ? Fub. Wherefore ring those bels ? Stult. Bels , you are deceived , it is the clincking of pots . Lod. I would have sworn , it had been Coronation day . Masters , can you play us Gascoynes Whibling ? Fidler . Yes , sir . Lod. Let's ha't . Toma. Here lacks a couple , we cannot dance it . Fub. Lack a couple , what serve Tim and I for ? Lod. Tis true , well remembred . Draw. Truly , Master Fub , I cannot dance . Fub. Truly , you shall learn then . Draw. I shall be willing to endevour . Toma. Strike . Stult. Ile throw the pot at his head that strikes heere , Whose that will strike ? Hee drinks all the while they dance . Stult. Rare yfaith , give's more wine . Boy . What , Timothy ? Draw. By and by . Boy . Look to the Lion . He rises and throws down the table . Stult. Ile have my Galliard too Toma. You spoyle all . Clar. How does your head , sweet heart ? Stult.

Yes faith , and thank you too , what Rogue's he that turns the Room round ? shall we not quench our thirsts before we part ?

Lod. What else my sweet Signior , this is your servant ? Cla.

Good enough for a property , he will serve my turn , as well as a better , I shall but use his name : do you think I would marry the Coxcombe , but only for colour and feare of the Law ? I'de see him bak'd first .

Bawd . Tis wisely done of you ? and so my Gossip Slight could say I warrant you . Lod. Boy , another quart , and bring a Reckoning . Here sir . Fidler . Heaven keep your Worship . Lod. In honester company . Stult. Fub , call for a Looking-glasse . Lod. Did you go the right way ? Enter the Drawer . Draw. It's a cup of neat wine , Ile assure — Lod. Mistris to your self , and to our next meeting ? Tom. What's to pay ? Draw. Nine and six pence , and you're welcome . Tom. How comes that to passe ? Draw. Here's seven groats Glasses . Lod. How ? Draw. No lesse , Ile assure your Worship . Lod. Come your mony , Signior — Let's take away and pay together . Stult. Fub , discharge it Fub . Monk. Some lights , shew the Gentlemen . Enter and follow with a letter from Vallentius . Stult. Fub , I am ene as full as a Toad . Fub. Yes , sir , but do not spit your venome . Stult. Prethee give mee another sip . I am as dry as a Cook . Fub. So I think . Stult. A pox a this Megrum . Lod.

What's here , I prethee marke Tomaso : Lodwick , I have my desire : fetch mee off speedily , lest I cure the Doctour ? yours Vallentius , lest I cure the Doctour .

Tom. What should he mean by this ? Lod. Why , belike he has infused his fit into him , and the Physician's turn'd Patient ? Tom. That's impossible ? Lod. But for Vallentius . Tom. We must redeem him . Lod. What else . Tom. Heyda , is the winde in that door ? He reels . Fub. A link good Tim , a link . Draw. Here's one ready , sir . Lod. Signior , good night . Fub lights the link . Stult. Not a drop more yfaith . Tom. Wee'le take our leaves . Clar. When shall we see you ? Tom. Somtime to morrow , if my father send not . Bawd . Good night Master Lodwick , good night good , sir . Fub. Good night Tim , remember Friday . Draw. I warrant you , forget not to bring Hugh , Welcome Gentlemen . Exeunt omnes .
Actus quartus . Scena prima . Enter the Doctor and his Wife . Doctor .

I Speak't in thunder once again , no more : thou Babylonian Strumpet , in thunder I command thee thou lump of sinne , no more .

Wife . Have patience , sir . Doct.

I rore it in thy eares , once more aloud , no more : cannot I deale , but you must be applying , you must be tampering , you must minister : have you not Pils for Potions ? do you not traffique ? do not you exchange Merchant ?

Wife . Good Vanderman . Doct. Sorceresse , I defie thee , and thy deeds of darknes . Wife . Heare me , sir . Doct.

I have heard and seen too much , has hee not paid you soundly for your pains : no , has he popt you .

Wife .

You are deceiv'd .

Doct. You say very true , I am deceived indeed , and Fub'd , and Guld , and Rid , and you are Rid too . Wife . What meane you ? Doct. Here blow it abroad , there's horns enow to do't . Wife . Why are you thus impatient ? Doct.

Dainty fine y faith , very dainty . Whore thou hast made me monstrous , and I may challenge Gyants : Yes , he shall be your mad-man ; Doe you not like his fits , doe you not , doe you not ?

Enter Thomaso , Lodwicke , and Vallentius , Amb. God morrow to you both . Doct. Why should this be ? Lod. How doe you sir ? how does your patient ? Doct. Are you not satisfied ? am I a stale ? must you have new-found Crochets ? Lod. Doe you heare me sir : is he recovered ? Doct. Homo Armatus , a man armed . Lod. Have you heard the like ? Tom. Me thinks 'tis excellent . Doc. And when , when shall he plant againe ? Lod. I wish you would understand me , sir . Doct. Here's a fruitfull soyle . Tom: Ha , ha . Lod. Sir , I will be heard , and understood : Save you Lady : ( he kisses her . ) Doct. More furies , might , and secresie , whoredome and The every bring all to confusion . Tom. Would we had more of this : we'le see what will come of all . Lod. I perceive Vallentius was i'th' right , he's madde indeede : Wife . Good Morrow Gentlemen : I have good newes for you ; your friend is well . Lod. Your tidings makes us happy , and gives us a moyetie of that content which nothing can doe more . Toma.

I shall rejoyce to see him what hee was , and Master of that temper he commanded , when he did dare the vaunting Bajeset for taxing his beliefe .

Enter Vallentius . Val. Tomaso , Lodwick . Lod. Valentius . Toma. I am glad to see you once again your self . Lod. You're welcome to your wits . Val. When time and place shall serve , my wit shall thanke you I am ever bound to you sweet Lady . Tom. Harke you Lodwick , are not we partly Bawds ? Lod. Faith in one kinde , we have a snatch that way . Tom. So I say partly . Lod. I must confesse , partly . Val. Not remember you , have not that bad opinion , doe not think I can be one so false by this kisse . Doct. Sibylla . ( He calls within . ) Wife . Ay me , my husband . Val. Once again and part . Doct. Sibylla . Wife . Farewell , Valentius . Val. A thousand take with thee . Tom. What , hungry still Vallentius , that you cast such a greedy eye that way ? Lod. How ist man ? what in a trance ? Val. And kinder far then faire . Lod.

What , shall we have a Pamphlet ; that he begins to study ? doe you heare Valentiuss : here's a friend of yours would speak with you , when you are at leisure .

Val. I crave your pardon Gentlemen , as I live she is — Lod. What's this to the purpose ? Exeunt . Enter Julio , and the Mercer with his man . Mer.

You know my price : for the finenesse of the silke , the working of the stuffe , and the pleasantnesse of the colour , the whole street shall not afford you a better , Ile assure you tis died in grain .

Julio .

The better for him that shall wear it , nothing but what's in grain can please him : let mee see , I know not how my mony will reach : the Silkman hath emptied my pocket this morning , but you will bate nothing of your price ?

Mer. I protest sir , I cannot , and save by it , and I know you would not wish me to be a loser . Iulio .

By no means , I would have every man to live & thrive by what he professeth , it is mine owne case : let me see , I cannot make up the sum , I pray you let one of your men step over to the next lane : I lie there at the Barbers , Ile dispatch him presently .

Mer.

My servants are all busie for the present , you see my shop is full of Customers , and every one striveth who shall be first served .

Iulio .

And I am in haste too , for I have sent for my Tailor to meet me at my lodging , and I am loth to disappoint him , because I would have his opinion in the stuffe .

Mer. I pray you , sir , be expeditious , and my man shall be with you by that time you have told out the mony . Iulio . I am much obliged to you as a stranger , I care not if I accept — Mer. Dispatch me that Customer quickly , and follow this Gentleman to his lodging : you heare where he lies . Iulio . Yes , at the next turning ? Mercers man . Ile but fold up this boult of Sattin , and be with him instantly . Iulio .

Turne by the next lane , and thou shalt be sure not to misse it , though thou findest not me , I have took sufficient order and you shall be sure to be satisfied .

Mer. We have many cheapners , but few buyers , many such customers as this would make quick riddance . Mercers man . What comes the summe to , sir . Mer.

Three yards of Sattin and a halfe at seventeene , eight yards of Plush at foure and twenty ; nay , there are divers other parcels , the summe is soon cast up : thou shalt have a note of all .

Mercers man . And Ile but fold up these few boults lie loose , and cleere the counter and be gone . Mer. Be quick there . Exeunt . Enter the Barber and Julio . Iulio . But thou must be secret . Barb. As your self , Sir . Iulio . A pretty handsome youth , and will be loath to discover himselfe , being extreamly bashfull , and will make it strange . Barb. Leave him to me , Ile perswade him that I knew him , ere I saw him . Iulio .

Hee's my Kinsman , next Cousin German's by the Mothers side ; now playing the Wag , as many youths will doe , you know it Barber .

Barb. Very well , it hath been many a good mans case . Iulio . He hath got a clap . Barb. These claps are got by clapping . Iulio .

But for one thing , never should it grieve mee , I feare it might go nere to spoile his marriage , which I would not for more than Ile speak .

Barb. You shew your self a Kinsman . Iulio .

Now his excuse will be ( as I told thee he's extreamly bashfull ) to enquire for a Gentleman that owes his Master mony , to comply with the old Proverbe , Though his excuse be draff , yet drinks his errand .

Barb. And lotion must be used . Iulio . As it shall seem best : but thinkst thou hee'l endure it . Barb. 'Twill put him to some pain . Iulio .

Which Ile not heare , my heart's so tender ore him : when he comes ( as long hee will not stay ) take him in charge , Thy pains shall be well paid , for doubt not but Ile come to the conclusion .

Barb. Very good , sir ? Iulio . My hope is it will succeed according to my wishes . Barb. Make no doubt of that , sir . Iulio . If I had , I had not made choice of thee above any other . Barb. You are my friend indeed : and so I hope to keep you . Iulio . I will withdraw for the present , and instantly return . Barb.

Now good speed with you , good customers are thicke sowed , and come up but thin . It is good to make much of them , when we have them . This should be the patient , that he talked off .

Enter Mercers man . Mercers man . I come to seek a Gentleman . Barb. You do : that owes your Masters mony . Mer. man . Very true , sir , you know my errand then . Barb. Before you came . Mer. man . The Gentleman belike hath told it you . Barb. He hath indeed . Mer. man . Is he within ? Barb. But before he went , left order with me , you should be dispatcht . Mer. man . Then I shall find him as good as his word : he hath acquainted you with my occasions . Barb. Ile assure you that , and intends well towards you , I pray come neer into the withdrawing Room . Mer. man . Ile wait on you , pray know you what it comes too . Barb.

Yes youth , I know , wherfore you come : pray rest you in that chaire , and Ile be for you presently ; be not ashamed , you are not the first , nor shall be the last , that meet with these disasters : and now come , pray shew me your commodity .

Mer. man . The commodity belongs , sir , to my Master , 'twas not mine . Barb.

Are his in danger too ? let him not feare , but if hee have not let it run too far , there may be helpe found : nay , come , will you shew ?

Mer. man . Mean you the note : there are the parcels sent . Barb.

These parcels may in time grow great , come , will you be ruled , the Gentleman your Kinsman , told mee before , how bashfull you would be ; and it becomes you well : but for your parcels , shew them in time : for if delay be long , that little which perhaps you shall have left , in time will come to nothing : your Kinsman's loth that you should spoile your Marriage ?

Mer. man .

Spoile my Marriage , spoile not my Masters debt , Neither draw these fearfull tricks on me : I need them not , pay mee the mony that your friend hath left , Dispatch mee so , for Kinsman I have none ; And honest Barber finde some else to sport with , make me none of your Guls ?

Barb. But I pray say . Mer. man .

I say , pay me sir , what's my due , & what by your confession , your friend left , or bring me to the party , or commodity he late had of my Master , or Coine for't : you have confest him to be your friend , therfore for him must answer .

Barb.

By your favour , no more friend of mine , then you found him , to claime Kinred : my acquaintance with him , yet is scarce a full houre .

Mer. man .

You are Confederates , and so I feare that I shall finde you : You know my errand , & promist mee dispatch : Why am I not dispatched then ?

Barb.

My meaning was to give you a Sering , or an incision Knife , Of which he told me you did stand in need : Indeed I deal in such cōmodities , And am acquainted what such parcels mean : For other wares or mony due for them , I know not what belongs to't .

Mer. man . Satisfie my Master so , quit me , and cleer thy self ; or 'twill fall foule upon thee . Barb.

Willingly : my cloak boy , Ile along , yet am affraid That hee who had profest himselfe thy Kinsman , and my deare friend , will prove thy Masters Cosin .

Exeunt . Enter Lodwick , Tomaso , Stulitssimo , Monky , Puss , &c. Puss. Give you joy Master Stultissimo ; give you joy . Stult.

You talk like Gentlemen , and I like your talk the better , because you talke to a gentleman ; you call mee Stultissimo , and I say , Stultorum plena sunt omnia : and now I talk to you like a Gentleman and a Scholer .

Gent. All health and joy betyde you . Stult.

Gramercy Gentlemen , I am not now the man , I was in the morning ; I did rise single , I return double : in the Meridian but Worshipfull , in the afternoon Honorable before Sun-set , and who knows but Majesticall before mid-night : nay I perswade my self I am so : am I not sweet Monkie ?

Monk. Thou art my deare Baboon . Stult. Very pretty names in faith : I prethee let's enterchange them still betwixt us : or Marmoset , or Apes face . Monk. Yes , yes , by any means . Stult.

All thy goods and chattels , thy moveables , and the stuff that belongs thereto , thy utensils and implements ; now are all mine .

Monk. They are , to have and to hold . Puss. Yes , as long as yee can keep them . Stult.

I have purchased thee in thy proper person by my word , but all thy other omnium gathrum , beforenamed , by my deeds , I think thou hast them to shew .

Tom. The minde gives sometimes words unto the tongue , and makes it speak perforce , beare with him Lodwick . Lod.

Let the Doctors wife beare with him , for mine own part , without he renounce this mood , and become sociable , as hee had wont , I defie his fellowship .

Tom. Will you dine with me Vallentius ? Val. Yes , shall we be merry ? Lod.

O is the tide turn'd , is the winde come about , by this good day , and I were not cursing my selfe , for being accessary to this melancholy , I have no faith in me ; if women can transmute men thus suddenly , hang me , if I keep not out of their clutches .

Val.

Gallants , shall wee walk ? I have a story for ye : prethee Lodwick frown not , be a friend indeed , and see not my defects , I have a tale shall make you laugh anon , and will excuse my blame ; prethe be thy selfe , be jocund man .

Lod. Nay , I am soon perswaded . Val. Where shall we be ? Tom. At the old house . Val. Come then , I'le make you laugh I sweare . Enter Franciscus in disguise . Fran.

Thus by degrees , with hazard of my life , have I attain'd unto my wishes rest ; and boldly gaze thee Venice in the face : the time has beene , Oh , but that time is past , when I was more familiar with thy pompe , but all that blisse is gone : And murther now , has with a crimson stain seal'd mee accurst , and like a condemn'd guilty Fugitive ; I wander in despaire ; fearing the rustle of the harmlesse bird , and the flies clamor , the Ant , the Waspe , and every lesser thing , Dreadlesse of danger , strayes abroad for food ; Not caring who behold them , But I , alas , of all ; am most unhappy : Would I were dead , and past the feare of that , Makes mee thus Cowish . Who art thou comm'st here , more needy then my self ?

Enter Julio poore . Iulio .

Where might I run to meet destruction , And set a period on my wretchednesse ? Stern misery I know , and feele thee now : Yet is the earth content to beare my weight , And suffer what proud man disdains to know , Unlesse to spit upon , or add to that , Which wanteth no extream .

Fran. I cannot hold : his voice , his humour , I dare sweare as much , 'tis he ; 'Tis he by heaven , my Iulio . Iulio . Franciscus , preserver of my life ; O let mee kisse the ground whereon thou treadest , then rise to thank thee . Fran.

That I could spend my self to teares for joy , beare witnesse you that know it : Iulio , for ever dwell within these arms of mine , thou truest among men , I have not power to question thee , my danger , my joy is so excessive ; runne all to spoyle , & terrour meet with terrour ; I feare none my Julio .

Julio .

Strike when thou wilt proud death , I dare thee now ; For having what I wisht , I wish no more , nor would entreate time to deferre a minuite to have him rest an age , since all things must have end , end it at once , my prayer is confirm'd , I have seene you e're I die .

Fran.

And if you love me wish me not that wrong by praying for your end : doe not quite undoe me , if you but knew my heart , my Julio , you would not crave't againe : I could have comfort now , and cleane forget the dangers I have past , and those pursue me still : nothing to come can halfe so much dismay , as thou dost comfort ; be it suddaine death or torture worse than it : but for your sake , would in my wombe I had bin strangled , and never drawne this aire .

Julio .

Where art thou Conscience ? whither hast thou tooke Since thou didst leave mans breast ? that wee should all have mothers ; VVisedome all , yet all contemne her precepts : when you first fled , and by command'ment from the Senate house , your ships and lands were siez'd on for the State , those that which staid them did appeare so neare , as if their blood had ty'd them to your service , grew so forgetfull in a moments space , that neither argument , nor extreame signes could winne them to beliefe there had beene such , as what you were to them : I ( as no lesse I could ) bound to't by duty , spoke your merits still , and did maintaine your right , on the Allyes of your inconstant wife : but I am poore for't , truth was still despis'd , and lesse I could not be .

Fran. Take all I have : had I my former wealth , My bounty could not recompence thy worth , And powre it all before thee ( my deare Iulio : ) Be not impatient with thy sufferance , he's above wil pay thee all My debts , though I should perish now . Contemn'd for me ? alack , alack , if there be such A thing in Charity , be charitable : doe not curse the cause Of this thy present want , I doe beseech thee doe not thou Iulio ? I prethee answer me , and either doe what I have wisht , Or cure the wound thou hast made . Iul. Good sir no more : doe not call all the teares out of mine eyes ; think who I am : would you did but know . Fran. I will not urge thee further : Shall we here combine , and shape our course alike , And never , never part ; yet pardon me , I will not wish thee so much injury To be unknowne of woman . Iulio .

You wish me not so well , how e're you wish , if you wish otherwise : your misery be mine , and my enduring yours ; one grave receive our bones ; and hee that sayes this Sepulcher is mine , call it Francisco's Tombe .

Fran. I have a habite for thee yet unknowne , or worne , But by my selfe : 'tis not a Furlong from the Antique Beech , Whose hollow sides conceales it : bide but here , Till I can reach it from the hidden place , And take it for thine owne : though homely , Yet the coursenesse will keep warme , And ward the sharpest blast . Iulio . You binde me to my prayers . Fran. Ile be with thee straight . Iulio .

Ignorant honesty , shallow Italian , yes , live a wretch : Canst thou be so fond to thinke me of that mettle ? hast thou eyes , and mayst , yet will not see how thou art o're-recht : yes , doe continue innocent , doe , and die a foole , my friend , my friend , my very loyall friend , all friendship I forsweare , save outward signes , which with my garment J cast nightly off . The father of the slaine Antonio promises liberally by Proclamation to any that can bring Francisco forth . I will betray him , I will be the man shall purchase the reward : What way I curses , or care for the report the multitude shall clamour therein . Ile imitate the Lawyer , making bad words my gaine . Franciscus thou wast born for my advancement : he's sunke himselfe , and fruitlesse is the hope depends on that which was , and not which is ; give me the present , not precedent man . Let me not hanker for emergency , but take the instant sway , the publish't recompence is mine , 'tis sayd , 'tis mine .

Franciscus puts a coat upon him . Fran.

That any should be false — But were there no drosse , gold could not be esteem'd , nor nothing precious rare . Cornelia let me forget that name and nothing else .

Iulio . It is a month and more since she left Venice . Fran. Would I had left the world when I first saw her . Julio .

And the same minuite did Phemone forsake her friends and kindred : but where or whither they have betook themselves the most knowing but conjecture .

Fran. How easie could wee make our miseries , if wee might live and dye when't pleas'd our selves ? Iulio . These strange additions to my newes I add , Antonio's Carkasse never could be found since yours and his contention . Fran.

I left him dead : thou art still just ; some beast has made that fouler beast his prey , and made up my revenge : but come with me , let us withdraw unto you thicket by , and speake at large that woefull history commixt of my proceedings , and pursuith ; wilst time's our owne .

Iulio .

I would provide me of some necessaries , small in expence , which make a mighty misse , and health cryes out to have : so if you please but let me fit my present want , at my returne enjoyne me to your will , though it continue to the latest date , and I am serviceable .

Fran.

Speake no more such words , but make your owne content : yet good Iulio be not absent long , make me not long to see thee .

Iulio . Such shall be my speed , you will not wish me sooner to returne . Fran. Not wish thee ? yes , though thou shouldst make return e're thou depart . Iul. Marke the end . Fran.

Be briefe , and goodnesse take with thee . This Iulio , if desert might purchase Fame , deserves sufficient : but thou art partiall Fortune in cramming Buzzards , whilst the Eagle sterves : How many in this fertile Italy , whom Nature moulded when she loath'd her taske , and blew her seed among the ignorant , hast thou adorn'd with plenty ? whilst seemely vertue , wrackt with poverty , jets under base controule : There's no felicity , nor true content here upon earth : The Spider builds his Webbe in Barnes and Palaces : and the Prince himselfe tastes gall as hony : Happinesse there's none , for least or greatest : Here my griefe so parches me , that it does paine me to relate my woes , and make my feelings knowne . Beneath this Hill a cleare and pleasant fountaine curles along , whose shallownesse makes the small pibbles ' peare above like Rocks , and murmure as shee runnes downe to the silver Current , thither will I high , and borrow so much of her watry store , as will asswage my thirst :

All things are kinde , And feed our wants when they themselves are pin'd . Enter Iulio and Pusse . Iul. Now my Catter-whauling Pusse , how didst thou like my last Cheat ? did I not foole them finely ? Pusse . Thou art the very meere Mephostophelus , and I perswade my selfe thou hast new vampt thy wits . Iulio .

Tush these are nothing : I have cheated one of the bravest Stats-men of the world ; the very quintessence of Spaine : Nay , I have fool'd him who boasted in his Country , he had guld all our Nation A Guelding is not rid in the horse-faire , but hee is mine to ride , maugre his Masters teeth . I have out-fac'd a fellow of his horse in the open Market , sold him before his face ; & but making a question whether he trots or ambles , ride away both with the horse and mony , my Pusse . Sweet Munkey looke to the house at home , I must abroad againe , to fetch in a new purchase .

Pusse . Maist thou thrive according to thy will , and to my wishes . Exeunt . Enter Stultissimo , Lodwicke , Tomaso , and two Sorieants . 1. Serg. And what's your Action ? Stult.

Three hundred pound : bee you ready to snappe him , and not to escape you without good baile : he's as slippery as an Eele .

2 Serg.

Therefore we'le take him by the shoulder , and not by the taile ; and so we shall be sure to hold him . But can you shew us the man ?

Tom. This is his walk , and without waiting long you may spye him . 1 Serg. Say but that's he , and 'tis enough . Lod. Stand as close as you can : If he have but the least suspition of an arrest , he's gone in a twinkling . 2 Ser. But will not you stay and assist us ? Stult.

By no meanes ; Ile but see him in hucksters handling , and be gone . Are you not paid your Fees afore-hand , and — That's he now : Now let him scape upon your owne perrill . Farewell .

Exeunt . Enter Iulio . 1 Serg. If he doe , say no more : Yeoman stand to me . Iulio . Now let me see : whom shall I next encounter ? 1 Serg. Marry the Counter sir : for we arrest you . Iulio . Ha , Counterfeits so nigh ? 2 Serg. Yet currant enough to carry you to prison . Iulio . And yet your Counter-tenour sounds but like scurvy Musicke : am I catcht then ? I pray you at whose suite ? 1 Serg. At three mens suite . Iulio .

Then three merry men , and three merry men be we , are we not honest Serjeants ? well , there's a peece to begin withall : lets talke further of the businesse .

1 Serg.

You speake well sir , if you hold on as you beginne : and if you can finde good baile , tenne to one but we shall prove as you late cald us ( Honest Serjeants . )

Iulio . Me thinks you doe not speak like Varlets : Enter a grave Doctor in serious discourse with a gentleman . Gent. May it please you , sir , to imploy mine industry For any further service ? Doct. Something more , Which in my former Letter I forgot , I would entreat you beare in memory : And that's but this — They whisper . Iulio . And in good time : Know you that reverend man ? 1 Serg. Know him sir , yes , for a worthy Doctor . Iulio . He's mine owne Vncle : will you take his word . And make it to me as a free discharge ? If he but say ( nay there's another peece ) Ile see you satisfied ? 2 Serg. Yes could we heare him say so : for hee's one whose word will not be questioned . Iulio . 'Tis enough : Give me but so much leaue as speake unto him , All Ile keep in faire distance : on my life , If he say not Ile see you satisfied , I will returne your prisoner . 1 Serg. 'Tis enough : for so farre we dare trust you : you have paid for't well : but we will watch him at an inch . Iulio . I know he will not suffer mee to lye For such a petty summe : Now braine or never . Excuse my boldnesse Sir : though it be scarce manners , To interrupt your serious conference . Doct. With me sir is your businesse ? Iulio . Such a businesse , Which as it toucheth me in Charity , So should it you in Conscience . Doct. Speake it pray . Julio . Look well on these two men . 1 Serg. He poynts at us . Iulio . The one is an arch Brownist , and the other Cannot endure to see a Surplesse worne : Subject indeed to no conformity ; Yet both so well perswaded of your learning , And spotlesse life , that what you shall propose Th'are willing to subscribe too . Doct. I am as ready to give them my instructions . Julio . And please you say so , that they may heare you sir . Doct. Well I will : My honest friends , and please you to have the patience Till I have ended with this gentleman , And instantly Ile see you satisfied . 1 Serg. It is enough grave sir . Iulio . Now honest Serjeants : what desire you more ? 2 Serg. Nothing from you sir . Iulio . I hope so honest Serjeant : you see I deale fairely . Farewell my honest Serjeants . Exit . Doct. I have told you all : only remember me to these my noble friends . Gent. With all the art My weake tongue can deliver . Exit Gentlman . 1 Sergeant . So , he is now at leisure . Doct. And now I come to you . 1 Serg. Most welcome , sir , we stay for the same purpose . Doct. Now , tell me briefly , which of you is the Brownist ? which the other , cannot indure a Surplice ? 2 Serg. You are pleasant , sir , We waite here , hoping to be satisfied . Doct. And to that end I stay , for these opinions So erroneous and so grosse . 1 Serg. Sir , all the opinion that we hold is that you will pay us the mony . Doct. Still obstinate in errour ; 'tis this mony , And worldly care on which so much you doate : Breeds in you these distractions . 1 Serg. Please you to pay the mony , you shall finde us conformable in all things . Doct. Mony my friends , are not you Sectaries ? 2 Serg. Sectaries ; no , sir , we are Sergeants . Doct. Sergeants ; and waite for me ? I owe you mony ? 1 Serg. Yes , sir , for your Nephew that was with you but now , and told you of it ; & we heard you say , you would see us satisfied . Doct. The man's to me a stranger I protest , And his request was I should satisfie you In some points of Religion . 1 Serg. Religion , sir , 'tis a theam we seldome think of , But three hundred pound is mony . Doct. But I tell you , I past my word for counsell not for coine , And this is all that you from me can have : Endure a Surplice , and beware a Knave . Exit . 2 Serg. Had we not warning sufficient of this before ? 1 Serg. Well , howsoever , we have had good counsell , If we had the grace to follow it . Exeunt .
Actus quintus . Scena prima . Enter Arbaces , and Julio in good apparell , with three or foure with weapons . Julio . ASsure me of the promist recompence , I'le bring you to his presence . Arba. Heare me a word . They whisper aside . Enter Vallentius , Lod wick , Tomaso , Stultissimo and Fub. Val. Now Signior , how do you feele you selfe ? How like you marriage ? Stult. Faith it's a pretty quaint thing , and there's much good sport belongs to't , would I were unmarried again ? Lod. Why ? are you weary of Clariflora already ? Stult. Weary no , but I would have store . Fub.

Harke you , sir , take my counsell ; though store be no sore , meddle with no more of them , lest you make me a Prophet , and get many a sore head by the match : have you not heard the ancient saying , No man can serve two masters ?

Lod. That's true , but any man may serve two Mistresses . Fub. And serve their turns well . Lod. Nay , i'le leave that to the performer . Fub. Hark you Master Lodwick , you or any man may thinke he does well , and yet come short . Lod. Briefly , directly , and learnedly spoken , sweet Fub . Fub. I speak by proof . Lod. Go to , you are a Knave Fub . Fub. Hold your peace , there's more in the company . Val. Well said , yfaith , thank him Lodwick . Fub. It's not worth it , though I should say as much by you . Tom. This fellow flows with wit . Stult.

Gallants , when were you at Court ? I have been desired thether fortie times , my wife ( I thinke ) has a hundred friends there : besides Cooks and Pantlers , that she has had many a good thing of , and they have sworn to bid me welcome for her sake .

Val. You may see what comes by marriage ? Fub. If we might see all that comes by marriage , there would be old butting abroad ? Arba. Here's the summe , perform thy word , and claime it . Val. Good morrow , good Arbaces . Iulio . Make me not known to these ? Arba. Vallentius . Val. Hee ? Arba. Are you not mad , I heard no lesse of late . Lod. Report's a calumnious quean , and will abuse vertue it self you see , both what he is , and what he was ? Arba. I am not sorrie , that I am deceiv'd : heare you not of Franciscus . Exit Arbaces with Julio , and the Watch . Val. Upon my credit nothing . Arba. Faire be your companie , come Gentlemen . Lod. What's he that throws his Cloake about his nose ? Is it not Iulio ? Tom. By all exterior seeming ? Val. My life 'tis he ? Lod. What should this mean ? Val. I was asking that . Tom. Mark't you Arbaces : he hath some drift in hand . Val. Did you not note his followers ? Lod. Yes , and the Arms they carried . Val. Shall we trace them , sirs ? and leave our wonder : I dare gage my life , the knowledge will deserve the industry ? Tom. You speake my words . Lod. Hee named Franciscus . Val. Yes , and question'd me . Tom. Withall , observ'd you but his speed . Val. Come , wee will pursue him . Stult. La , la , la , la : nay , I pray take me with you Gentlemen . Fub. If not for company , for mirth's sake , take heed before there . Enter Franciscus alone . Fran.

In mightie men how great appears the vertue nere so small ; how small the vice , though mighty Philosophie , they rules bridles my cogitations , and prolongs , what manhood would disdain , the time to come appales my courage and strikes instant feares through every nerve and artery : might wee like beasts end when wee die , and never make account in no other place then heer : what heart so base would feare the threatning Law ? Flatter the Judge to save him : I would not sure : but there is blisse and torment much to come , wee cannot thinke on't yet the Resurrection aws me , I am much distempered , and want of companie , begets in me millions of terrours : Iulio tarries long , my Orisons secure him , could the teares wash the bloud but of my hands , my minde were something free .

Enter Julio mufled , Arbaces and a Guard . Julio . This is the place , and there Franciscus walks . Arba. Where ? Iulio . That's he : apprehend him , i'le not be seen in't . Arba. Your office , sir . Fran. What are these for men . Arba. Lay hands upon him . Fran. What mean you friends ? Constable . This we mean to attach you , as a murderer . Fran. Arbaces , I am betray'd . Arba.

Look to the homicide , such mercie as a Tiger yields his prey , when he's pincht for want of what's his booty , expect from me thou murtherer .

Fran.

None I have deserv'd , or am about to crave , I know the worst , my life thou canst but have , 'Tis thine ; I make a tender of it ere the sentence come , & give thy labour ease , alas , poor Iulio : thou wilt unfriended , run thy future race without societie , I pitty thee my friend more then my selfe , danger to me is such , I do expect and dread not . Fare thee well , my breach of promise , is not with my will , but meerly on constraint .

Enter the Gentlemen . Arba. Lead him hence . Lod. Here they are . Val. Who have we here bound to the good behaviour ? Franciscus ! Lod. My deare friend . Tom. My brother . Arba. Officers , why doe you linger thus , away with him ? Val. How fare you , sir ? Fran. Sicke , sicke to death Vallentius : shall wee hence ? Exit Franciscus with guard . Tom. I now behold my feare , when I did heare Arbaces speak of him . Val. Something of badnesse shoot me instantly , but hee does pierce me through . Lod. Good Gentleman . Tom. Has he recided here since he first fled ? Val. I thought him now in Millain , where hee did trafficke much . Lod. I wonder how he came to be discovered ? Tom. Beshrew my bloud , I pitty his estate . Val.

Will you accord with mee , shew that respect you once did tender him , and withall willingnes strive to invent a means may do him ease .

Lod. What , my sword , my word , or wealth can doe is his , command it for him ? Val. Let us petition to his rough adversary , and like true Suppliants in our own behalfs , draw mercy from Arbaces . Tom. Agreed . Val. About it then , and our intentions thrive . Manet Julio . Iulio .

The gold is mine , his certain bondage does assure mee it , why should I be an Asse , and nicely stand on that no Trades-man does : no thrifty one , what conscience , any thing but such a word : our wise divines that preach an't , know it not , nor make good use of that , or ought they say , but of good mony : this I daily see , and sometime make my daily meditation , all's Ceremonie compos'd for purpose :

But be it what it will , this is my grace , If not for one , I'me for the othe place . Enter the Duke of Venice , two Senators , Crissipus , Arbaces , Vallentius , Tomaso , Lodwick , Clarke , and others . Duke . Bring the offender forth . Cris. Have mercie , good my Lord . Duke .

Believe't thou mayst sooner move a rock , which neither blustring winde , nor boisterous Sea could shake or swallow , then beget remorse or smallest favour in so foule a case : I were unjust , and much unmeet to be the man I am , should wee shew mercie where the crime deserves , beyond the laws extent . He that shall pardon murder , take't from me , is accessary to the guilty deed , and stands in self predicament : Heaven defend we should be such , were he my Nephew , nay , my first-borne sonne , or one more neere : let me not be blest in my proceedings , if our Authoritie should blinde his sinne , or alter justice course , set him forth : what favour equitie can yield be his , no more expect Crisippus .

Enter Officers with Franciscus . Pri. Sen. Read the indictment . Fran. Save that pains , guilty , nor do repent , that in my wrath I did , whereof I stand convict . Duke . Art thou not sorrie for thy hainous crime ? Fran. No mighty sir , but rather joy the more , in that it breviats my passage here , which I would willingly leave . Arba. Impudent homicide : justice good my Lord , with that severitie which they deserve , which wilfully commit — Duke .

Arise , thou needst not kneele , nor beg for justice , be assured Arbaces : such his deservings , such his punishment , and cruell as the cause , thou most bruitish man , nay , beast or something worse : hadst thou no humanitie , no sparke of reason then , nor sence , to thinke thy trespasse foule and ugly ? do'st not repent thy tyranny in death , though not the deed it self : fie on thee monster , hast thou a foule and dreadst not her perdition : what heathen savage , nay , what ruder thing , having the life thou soughtst , would have enacted such a deed of ruth , as thou , thou worst of creatures , on the image and livelesse carcasse of thy loving friend .

Pri. Sen. 'Twas most uncivill , most unchristianly . 2 Sen. An act , a Tigre would not have perform'd , on one that had slain his brood . Fran. Heare me good my Lord . Arba. My poore Antonio . Fran.

That I did take his life , I have confest , what further accusations laid on mee , is meerly malice , and proceed from some , could wish my torment worse .

Arba. Out on thee butcher : give me leave my Lord . Clark . Silence . Duke . Canst thou deny thy wrathfull crueltie , impetuous tyranny , and fell revenge upon his bleeding trunk ? Fran.

Unlesse I should belie my selfe , and speake like a vaine boaster , more then what I did , I must say this is false , and hee's from truth , as farre as I am from hope of life , begot this slander .

Duke . Produce your proofe Arbaces , strike blushes through the cheeks of this false man , and let him see his shame . Fran. What Devill should be rais'd from the lowest hell , to justifie this wrong ? Tom. This is strange . Lod. I never thought Franciscus one so foule , as I behold him now . Val. Not thought , I durst have sworn him of a purer mettle , and better temper farre . Enter Julio and Arbaces . Iulio . Prosperitie to the Venetian State . Fran. Iulio : he's not his proof I hope . Duke . Is this the Gentleman ? Arba. This is he my Lord . Duke . Make room , give way there . Fran. How comes this about ? 2 Sen.

The fact's confest , my Lord , what need we further wade into the Law , or heap on troubles which we may eschew , upon so plain a case ? the crime is Murder , Murder is confest , then as you finde the guilt , proceed to judgement , and make no further question .

Duke . We shall be suddain . Fran. My sentence , good my Lord . Duke .

Speake , sir , can you report any thing more touching this businesse then what already is delivered here in the open Court .

Iulio . No more or lesse , then what his owne tongue uttered , can I or have to say . Fran. How's that ? Iulio .

We were once friends : once had I such opinion of his vertues , my life and estimation were both his , hee might command them , much it were to speake of all that past between us : thus in short , I would some other were compell'd to this , which you have tied me too , my neerest friend alive .

Duke . Arbaces : was this the man gave you first notice where this Murderer kept ? Arba. The same my Lord . Fran. Did he betray me ? can this be . 2 Sen. Forward . 1 Sen. Speake . Iulio .

Must we be enforc'd , what should I speak , hee flue him , ript his bowels , mangled him , and in his wrath , as man will any thing : tumbled his reeking quarters downe a Vault most steep and lothsome : what of this , hee might deserve much worse austeritie , yet this was bad enough ?

Fran. Ha ? Arba. Justice , gracious Prince , justice , justice , sir . Duke . Is this truth ? Iulio . Let me be depos'd — Lod. The most erronious , execrable part that ever was perform'd . Val. Were hee my father , should forget himselfe , and match this outrage , mercy quite forsake me if I would sue his pardon . Tom. It was ruthlesse , fell , and bloudie . Duke . Look not up for shame , thou hast no interest there . Fran. I have done wrong , mightie , mightie wrong . Duke . Canst thou behold it now ? Fran. Pardon me father , pardon good Arbaces : that villaine , that foule villaine . Enter Antonio , Cornelia , Phemone , and Shepheard . Antonio . 'Twas time to come . Cor. Shew mercie , mercie , Duke . Phe. Pittie our complaints , have some compassion . Duke . What are these that make this earnest deprecation , with such a heartie zeale ; are they well known to this assembly ? Tom. Cornelia , sister . Val. Faire Phemone . Cris. When will these humid fountains be dried up , and yield no more warme drops ? Cor. My sweet Franciscus . Fran. Some good or bad thing fell mee suddenly , let mee behold no more . Duke . Is that his wife ? Val. She was my Lord , while some hard fate dis-joyn'd their mutuall league , and burst the holy concord . Fran. Wilt thou pardon me and live a happie one , when I am dead , and lapt in this cold earth . Cor. Franciscus I was ever true to you . Fran. I see it , and believe : that villaine , oh , that villaine ! Duke . Harken thy sentence . Fran.

Heare mee my good Lord , little I have to say , yet to much grief tend my few words , this traitor , nay , 'tis title all too good for one so hainous foule , that he is perjur'd , by the death I owe his latest words do witnesse what hee is more , and worse : with pardon Lords , I shall delate at large , that all hereafter may example take , and shun a villaines snare ; I tooke him up , when like an Adder in the frosty dew , the cold had starved him : that I had set my foot upon his head , when to my bosome I did take the Serpent , not cherisht , comforted long had he been , but hee both bit and stung mee : foolish man I was to be so fond , not many months , nor happy days I had with this most truest , most immaculate piece , but that perfidious Caitiffe , that blacke fiend by strange suggestions , and invented projects , draws mee into a confirm'd jealousie , that she had stained her honour , falsly playd with young Antonio .

Anton. O forgive me heaven , what is this ? Fran.

I from my wrong conceiv'd , least could I not , Drew him apart into a silent Grove , Having before vow'd solemnly revenge , Where I made some repetition of my griefe : he still ( I see him ) innnocent gentleman , taking my words For such as Lovers use , when they are wanton , Smiles me in the face , and would not thing 'twas anger .

Ant. Tis truth he speakes . Fran. This inkindled me , and as Boare , When he does chaw his foame , predicts some mischiefe , So my bended front fore-told his ruine , Forth I drew my sword , and sheathed it Within his breast , what else is added , He's a Jew averres , and falser than a whore . Iulio . See , see the Ages wickednesse : can it be possible ?

O miserable time , when men make no more reckoning of their soules ! Fye , fye , Francisco , thinke upon your end , and whither you must goe . Most reverend Fathers , observe you this his contumacy : I shall I feare be forc'd to speak what in my heart till now I chested , and rib'd in , because mine oath , 'twas not my wil hath heare constrained me to expose his blame , my soule had vowed to hide ; Note into malice how he throwes himselfe , and would staine my reputation with a calumnious lye .

Fran. Art thou a man , or something else ; oh foole , foole . Ant. Is this possible ? Duk. Give eare unto thy sentence . They talke in private . Ant. I must , in — Duke . Did not I say he's mad , starke raving mad , away with him . The man's alive that's dead . Val. Yes , they supt together : I love this fellow . Iulio . Your Grace shall doe well to punish this saucy groom . Ant. You are a most pernicious damn'd villaine , and your soule knowes it . Arb. Come , sir , depart , & rave not , or I shall see you whipt . Ant. Good Father pardon ; pardon mighty Duke , pardon Antonio , cause of this disquiet . Lod. Antonio ? Val. By this light he supt with him indeed . Fran. It is not so , this cannot be . Jul. Is there no mountaine nigh to fall on me , no roten house ? Arb. I know not whether I may call thee sonne , or rest in doubt for ever . Ant. I am Antonio , and I was your son , when I left Venice last . Duk. Is no man here amaz'd but onely I ? Anto. My deare Phemone ! Phem. Were you the Shepheard ? Ant. You see chaste Cornelia . Arb. Was ever man so blest ? Ant.

Nay , come Francisco , I must have your hand : I can as well forgive , as I can love ; and nothing more than both : good Crissippus , my old friend .

Val. You have bin a stranger Signior ; but I'me glad 'tis thus . Julio would be gone . Duk. Whither away : stay him officers ; wee have not done with you . Iulio . Wither shall I runne to hide my selfe ? What Climate , or what Region ? Pardon greatest Prince . Pardon grave Fathers . Arb. Against that prayer kneele I : No pardon Prince , as thou dost hope for blisse . Cris. Grant him a halter ; nothing else good Duke . Duk.

Give him his liberty : Art thou so impudent to pleade for mercy , and beg of me , having committed such a capitall trespasse here in my view ?

Fran.

Though what I speake , with some additions , I have done and more , and he more false has plaid , than I have said , blot his offences : be propitious Sir .

Ant. Though the greatest sufferance fell on my part , I here acquit him , and beseech for mercy . Fran. Yet be compendious , and possesse this presence , what cause thou hadst that tempted thee so badly to seek my ruine . Iulio . The Devill and his Angels . Fran. O fie Ioretzo . Duke . How Ioretzo ? not the sonne of that pernitious traytor , had plotted with Lamunes for summes of gold to burn our City ? Fran. He's dead , and suffered for the same offence . Duke . When brought the toad forth other than himselfe , unlesse 'twere something worse ? Ant. Forget his Fathers faults : be pittifull . Duke .

He that prayes next in his behalfe , by heaven friends not himself , and is mine enemy : We have too long suffered such Weeds as these to flourish in our soyle : No more the bosome of this earth of ours , shall ( like a mother ) lend her fruitlesse encrease , to cherish those would bane her : The sword of justice cut the justice off that keeps it sheath'd to such : His deeds were shamefull , his rewards be so , and quittance his desert : Seare on his brow in letters cappitall , the name of knave , that all behold may reade him what he is , and hate him in the sight : His next doome is this ; after three daies we charge thee on thy life , never set foote more in thy Native Climate .

So , beare him to his torture , speech is vaine : For what is said there's nothing can restraine . Exit Iulio . Arb. Most worthy Prince . Lod. Ile be honester while I live for this trick . Fran. Can you forgive mine injury , Antonio ? Ant.

As freely as I hope to be forgiven ; and crave no more amends , but onely this you'le call me brother , and make Phemone mine .

Fran. I need not make what's made , take and enjoy her that hath vow'd to be none but yours . Cris. Thy hand Arbaces , our quarrell's or'e , we'le no fighting . Arb. Fight , yes : I hope we shall find something else to doe . Cris. Daughter I have done thee wrong too ; but Ile seeke forgivenesse when we have more leasure . Fran. This day breeds wonders : by what accident scapt you of your wounds ? Ant.

Here stands the meanes , whom I must ever tender with respect , as with my full proceedings you shall heare , when none can interrupt .

Duk.

Francisco , henceforth know your vertuous wife , & prize her as a jewell : I have heard the world speake well of her , and those unmatch'd wish they may have your fortunes . Lodwicke where's the dumbe shew you promis'd me .

Lod.

Even ready my Lord ; but may be cald a motion : for puppits wil speak but such corrupt language , you'le never understand without an interpreter , or a short plot ; which I have drawn thus — Now the motion followes .

Enter Doctor . Doct. What not divulge : yes , yes , I will divulge . Duk. The jealous Doctor : I have him . Doct. Doe me right , sweet Duke , doe me right . Duk. What art ? Doct. A foole , a physitian , a maintainer of whoredome , with a poxe to me . Duk. Then Medice cura teipsum ; more knave than foole , the plot's false drawne else : away with em . Lod. Come sir , depart . Doct.

Purge mee Duke , purge me , or let my wife take out my corrupted braines , and rince them in a Cucking-stoole : I come Skimmington , I come .

Exit . Lod. Vallentius you must take some order for the Doctors cure : he befriended you in as great a courtesie . Enter Stultissimo and Fub. Stult. Trot on afore : is the Corne-cutter come yet ? Fub. The Horne-cutter is come , sir . Stult. On , on to the Leaguer then : I am ashamed to show my head amongst Animalls : on to the Leaguer . Exit . Val. This is a Monster of your making , Lodwicke , buy him a Cap-case to hide up his hornes in , for shame o'th' world . Lod. Come we are both — A great Hubub and noise , a ringing of basons , a great many Boyes before , and Julio drawne in a Cart . 1 Boy . He comes , he comes . 2 Boy . Where doth he come ? hee is rather drawne hither like a Bare to a stake . 3 Boy . What in a Coach ? 1 Boy .

Nay , rather in an open Charriot : and yet it cannot bee properly called a Chariot , because it runnes but on two Wheeles .

2 Boy . Roome for him there : for I am sure hee had rather any here had his roome than his company . 3 Boy . Silence there ; you in the Docket there , let but one speake in the Court at once . All . Silence . Julio . Noverint universi , It is the Dukes mercy ; And the condition of my Obligation , To make my recantation , That I within bound , Should give reasons profound , Why ( much against my heart ) I thus ride in a Cart .

Nay , gentlemen , no egges I beseech you : for I love them at this time , neither raw , roasted , nor rotten . For should they hit me on the breast , they would goe cleane against my stomacke .

Tomaso in a corner of the Gallery . Tom. You Phaeton . Is that your Father Phoebus his Chariot , and will he allow you never a Boxe to sit in ? Iulio .

No juglers Boxe , Ile assure thee friend : for here's neither passe , nor repasse , I stand here you see for an example , And could wish all these good people to follow it .

Lodwicke in another corner . Lod. Who's that , Bootes mounted in his Charles waine ? doth he cry Pippings , Carrets , or Turneps ? Iulio .

You are deceived , Signior : rather Bread , and Meate , as Pye-crust , bones , and fragments out of the Ludgate mans basket : Nay , hold your hands , I beseech you Gentlemen , and use your tongues and spare not .

Stul. Well , he stands heare but for a shew , and I am sure I suffered for it really and indeed . Iulio .

Beare witnesse my Masters , that is the maine malefactor indeed , and I stand here for a show : Ile goe no further than his owne confession .

A Country fellow standing by . Country fel.

They talke of Cheaters , here is a twenty shillings peece that I put into my mouth , let any Cheater in Christendome cousen me of this , and carry it away cleanly , and Ile not only forgive him , but hugge him and imbrace him for it , and say he is a very Hocus Pocus indeed .

Iulio . What said that fellow ? Pusse . He saith he hath a peece in his mouth , that all Europe shall not cheate him of . Julio .

I have markt him , 'tis mine owne : and notwithstanding all this melancholy we'le spend it at night in Wine and Musicke .

Count . fel.

Hee that can plucke this peece out of my jawes , spight of my teeth , and I keepe my mouth fast shut , Ile say hee is more than a Cheater , and a Doctor Faustus , or Mephostophilus at least .

Puss. Dost heare how he brags ? Jullio . 'Tis mine own I warrant thee . Two Countrimen . 1 Count . But what's become of my horse ? 2 Count . And what's become of my load of hay ? Iulio .

May I eate hay with your horse , if they were not both done neatly and cleanly . But Gentlemen , and the rest , you see I am at this present your pittifull spectacle . I lookt once within this twelve month , not to have been mounted in such state : but no man knows what preferment hee is born to . You see I have hitherto sayled through this great storme without soyling my Suite , spoyling my Ruffe , or spattering my Beaver : thanks to these kinde spectators .

1 Serg. But Master Fast and Loose ; doe you remember what a slippery trick you served Master Doctor and us ? Iulio .

And was it not fairely done Master Sergeant , to teach you how to disgest the wearing of a Surplice , before you came to stand in a white sheet .

1 Serg. Well now you are at your journies end : May it please you to alight for your ease ? Iulio .

With all my heart : and if either you or any of my accusers be weary with following me on foot , the Room is now empty , I will give him leave to ride in my place . Hee seems to fall into a passion . Yet when I doe but think of this disaster , it draws teares from mine eyes .

He draws his handkerchiefe ( as to wipe his eyes ) just before the Country fellow , and scatters some small mony . Country fellow . Sir , you have ( I think ) let fall some mony . Iulio . Thanks honest friend . He takes it up . Count . fel. What do you look for ? I can assure you here is all that fell . Iulio . Nay , sure I had more mony ? 'tis not in my handkerchief , nor in my pockets , I have examined them both . Serg. Why , what do you want sir ? Iulio .

A piece , a piece , and had it now , just now ; sure whilst I was so high pearcht none could dive so low into my pocket , it was sure as I lighted , and dropt from mee , just as I drew my handkerchief .

Puss. Some such thing I saw fall . Iulio . Pray who were they that stoopt ? Serg. I saw none stoop but this Country fellow . Iulio . Then sir , I must demand this piece of you . Count . fellow . Of me ? I professe I tooke up but two shillings and six pence , and that I gave into your hand . Iulio .

But I professe that one of them was a piece , and never came into my hand , and that I must demand of you : say did no body stoop but hee ?

Serg. None I assure you . Iulio . Thou art still my honest Sergeant . Puss. That fellow hath something in his mouth . Count . fel. Yes my tongue and my teeth , and what of all that . Puss. Nay , something else sure , for hee is not troubled with the Mumps , and yet see how one side of his cheeks bumps out . Iulio . I am afraid , we shall finde him a Cheater . Serg. Sirrah know I am an Officer , I charge you open your mouth , and let us see what you have in it , &c. Count . fel. Well sir , I have a twenty shillings piece , what then ? Serg. And this man misseth a twenty shilling piece out of his pocket . Iulio . Plead well Sergeant and thou shalt have thy fee . Count . fel. Well , there it is , what can you make of it ? Iulio .

Marry twenty shillings good and lawfull currant mony , Puss , was not this the piece that I put in my pocket this morning ?

Puss. I know it by that mark . Serg. And she's witnesse sufficient in conscience . Iulio .

Doe you see Gentlemen . I am here brought to publike penance for a Cheater , and here's a plain fellow that ( it seems ) in his simplicity would out-doe me : if I be thus censured meerly for suspicion ; shall hee scape free that is taken in the very action ?

All . No , no , mount him , mount him . Count . fel.

Nay , by your favour Gentlemen , I have driven a Cart often for my pleasure , and would bee loth to ride in one now for my punishment . It is penance enough for mee to part with my peece , which cannot be more currant of Coine , then his is Arrant for Knavery .

Exit . Iulio . He's gone , I am still here , now Gentlemen , If heretofore there hath been any Doll , Any bold Beachum , and any Cut-purse Moll . Any Bawd fat with wealth , or with care meager , That spends her time in Garrison or Leager , Grace me so farre to say , that of a Cheater Though some have been more grave ; scarce any greater , But Gentlemen ; what need we more repeating ? Knowing , that even in all Trades there is cheating ? Tis common both in buying and in selling , In all Commerce ; nay , even in mony telling . Tis frequent 'twixt the Pander and the Whore , We our selves finde it at the Play-house doore . And though ( for an example ) here I stand , I am not all the Cheaters in the land . Some here ( no question ) know it but I vow , ( They what they please ) I will cheat none of you . Duke . We understand their humours , And the cause of their distempers ; And have too long suffered such weeds As these to flourish in our soyle , But now no longer shall this earth of ours , Like a kinde Mother lend her fruits increase , To cherish those would eclipse her worth . But those whose aymes and acts are imitable , Crown with green Garlands , and with Bowls brim'd full . Musique proclaime a generall Festivall , A Jubile of joy and mirth to all : May love and truth , never like comfort misse , Nor Knave in Grain , scape a reward like this .
FINIS .
A19750-lodowick 201 A19750-julio 182 A19750-franciscus 106 A19750-stultissimo 97 A19750-tomaso 96 A19750-vallentius 94 A19750-fub 66 A19750-doctor 43 A19750-antonio 41 A19750-arbaces 34 A19750-whore 33 A19750-duke 30 A19750-chrisippus 25 A19750-monkey 24 A19750-barber 23 A19750-drawer 20 A19750-1_sergeant 19 A19750-cornelia 18 A19750-bawd 15 A19750-mercers_man 15 A19750-pusse 10 A19750-wife 9 A19750-phemone 9 A19750-mercer 8 A19750-2_sergeant 7 A19750-sergeant 6 A19750-country_fellow 6 A19750-shepherd 5 A19750-fiddler 5 A19750-valentius 5 A19750-1_countryman 4 A19750-2_senator 3 A19750-clariflora 3 A19750-gentleman 3 A19750-3_boy 2 A19750-2_boy 2 A19750-boy 2 A19750-1_gentleman 2 A19750-breadman 2 A19750-unassigned 2 A19750-1_boy 2 A19750-all 2 A19750-clerk 1 A19750-2_countryman 1 A19750-doctors_wife 1 A19750-constable 1 A19750-1_senator 1 A19750-chrisipus 1 A19750-2_servant 1 A19750-ambp 1
Textual Notes

The textual notes below aim at making textual corrections readable in their immediate context and facilitating access to the source text. A five-dit number preceded by 'A' or 'B' represents an EEBO-TCP filenumber. A notation like "6-b-2890" means "look for EEBO page image 6 of that text, word 289 on the right side of the double-page image." That reference is followed by the corrupt reading. A black dot stands for an unidentified letter, a black square for an unidentified punctuation mark, a diamond for a missing word, and the ellipsis for a short span of undefined length. The corrected reading is displayed as a kewyord in context.

intellicence with such inticing conveniences : and for intelligence , all the lawn women , lace women , box ●aile like decoy Ducks , with whole sholes at the taile of them . ▪ beare up your selfe so civill and so meager , too●● forsweare privacie , and all that belongs too't , I have a Girle , the very spirit of what Souldie●r Cowch , nere dreams what danger the bold Souldier dures , and he that never felt the pangs mor sell That morsell of mans flesh , shee cannot beat him away ▪ So I will . ▪ this secret party , this conceal'd Champion , What have ye here , Signior Stultissimoes Stuliissimoes conceal'd Champion ▪ What have ye here , Signior Stultissimoes man ? ▪ : But I am sure , I have heard , or read , or something , that a new Chiefe Justice ha● now you come to me , That's the Pearle I ha' div'd for all this while : I have a catalogue visi tants Monkey the health ; these are my noble & prime visitants ; the boxes I gave you to lay up . par●ly gentlemen : 300 peeces , or such a taste , partly induction to a businesse , or so . There's promi●ed Fortunes hill . 'Vds me Signior Stultissimo promised Me a courtesie last night : ▪ stinging Waspe , and well conceited Dove ; For beauty nice , intituled Queen of love ▪ more : Let reason rule thy Amazonian fist , Let ladle rude be thrown at hady wist , ▪ No faith . solu● Enter Julio , very brave , solus . wongs Will you list a word , Anthonio wrongs you . Vesunius again ( mee thinks ) a flaming Iland , a Vesuvius Hill , meerly combustion . ▪ policy shall raise betwixt these Turtles ? I hold with Machievel , for fame or profit ▪ You had mine answer , never , never . creaure Oh , some charitable creature ! Francisco , dear Francisco . ▪ falsnesse ; Which too , too well he knew , Thou hast und one him , Fled he is and gone withall This is good newes with all my heart : Fub we are all made ; thou shalt prethee-let's What wil't not doe ? prethee — let's be lusty . habitatiation constancy , how soone would I renounce My habitation , uncloath thy feare , & set all even againe neighbourd safety , what are these come here Where never neighbour dwelt ? welt are these come here Where never neighbour dwelt ? patienee not inflict so much as I could beare With patience , did Franciscus imagine but the truth : be sprint neare , You foule mucky cloud I feare Will besprint us , Poebus twaine , If so list you but drawwindow Dressers , Hall , Entries , and every doore and draw-window , and perspicous places about the house Tom●so what a spoyle of Poultery has here been ? Tomaso , I must be beholding to thee for this ordinary ▪ please you Gentlemen , to heare any Musicke , and a good Song ? ▪ ▪ She should be so , and should not reape : What follows in my Ditty ? ▪ Fub lights the link . ▪ Doe you heare me sir : is he recovered ? exuse Now his excuse will be ( as I told thee he's extreamly ru●●le Fugitive ; I wander in despaire ; fearing the rustle of the harmlesse bird , and the flies clamor ▪ Take all I have : had I my former wealth , My bounty could meunes By no meanes ; Ile but see him in hucksters handling Yeo man If he doe , say no more : Yeoman stand to me . fuite : am I catcht then ? I pray you at whose suite ? ●ay keep in faire distance : on my life , If he say not Ile see you satisfied , I will returne erroneons to that end I stay , for these opinions So erroneous and so grosse . ▪ I durst have sworn him of a purer mettle , and better temper farre . sentece Give eare unto thy sentence . S●are rewards be so , and quittance his desert : Seare on his brow in letters cappitall , the name Withall With all my heart : and if either you or any of my ●inde longer shall this earth of ours , Like a kinde Mother lend her fruits increase , To cherish